Grape Smuggling
Posted In: Random Lashing Out
As I was chatting with a former colleague of mine, I was finding myself recalling the grape smuggling incidents of 2006. Let me elaborate.
A former workplace was infused with people on this health kick. These things called “mountain bikes” and an outdoor recreation called “jogging.” In the department we worked in, there one one lad, whom I will call “Toby” who liked to walk around in his grape smugglers (biking shorts) and when he went to “help” people, he would give the nearby person sitting down a dose of “ass-face.”
Nothing short of telling the lad to go change from his laderhosen into something a bit more “office/worker friendly” like pants.
Now, I never got the ass-face, lucky or I would have broken both his legs… but when I speak to people that are still there, Toby still hands out the daily dosage of ass-face. Manjammas, as I call spandex biking shorts, should be outlawed. Or, as I would suggest to Toby, tape up your mangina, and go with the moose knuckle.
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04 Oct 2006 Captain Bastard
I think I know this Toby character…does he work part time in the produce section at the Kroger in Fairview Plaza?
Captain B has incorporated a term that I had too look up in the urban dictionary…welcome. I thought moose knuckle was a UFC submission hold. It would also be a good verb. You could start “moose-knuckling” your way through life…hold on, I think a dude named Belly Meat already thought of that.
Moose Knuckle, Camel Toe, Pig Hoof, it’s all the same. This Toby character is actually, a self-proclaimed genius, from Switzerland. For some reason, when upon his return to work after a vacation, the boxes and boxes of Swiss Miss Hot Cocoa and Godiva Chocolates did not amuse him.
Nevermind the fact he has the sense of humor that Adolf Hitler did.
I know of a variation to smuggling grapes - smuggling raisens. This is when a man with meaty breasts wears a shirt that is just a little tighter than it should be.
Also the mangina or fruitbasket move is prominent in the Midwest, namely Iowa.
To date, there have been no mangina/fruit basket incidents reported in Iowa…however, there have been a plethora reported in D-town at Ye’ Ol’ Eleven-eighty-fizzle
Well, we were inclined to think he was rubbing one off under his desk cause he loved the sensual feel of spandex hugging his taint. That and he wore the damn things all day.
There was a mangina spotting in the North where I live, his name is Mandrew and he works at Kentucky Fried Chitlins’. He has his ears bedazzled.
Unfortunatly, I had to work with this douchebag idiot boy “Toby” who thought he was hot s%!*. To top it all off, he had hi head so far up her tw@t that you could not tell where this idiot ended and the boss began. I am so glad Im outa there, my witnessing of the man-toe, coco-fairy are long gone, thank god.