Do you see me? Picture me rollin.
Yesterday they weighed pumpkins at the 13th annual Rhode Island Southern New England Giant Pumpkin Growers Championship. There was a pumpkin there that weighed 1,502 lbs which set the new Guiness Book of World Records mark of 1,469 lbs set just last year.
If you look closely in that photo, you may just see somebody you know.
“Pumpkin growing is a lot of work and you just have to stick with it”
Sphere: Related Content
08 Oct 2006 Grown Pumpkin
They will be testing for steroids later this week and then the grand jury has subpoenaed a group of trainers for the pumpkins to testify against said pumpkins at the grand jury hearing.
It’s going to get ugly.
The pumpkin known as “Big Pump” isn’t here to talk about the past…even though he’s got a highway named after him in STL.
Also, the pumpkin known as “El Pumpkin Dominican,” who has actually topped the 1,450-pound mark 3 times (more than anybody else) is having a bout of “I think I forgot how to speak English and my accent is very thick today.”
The world record pumpkin isn’t showing up, but there’s lots of speculation…
Finally, “Ol’ Finger Waggin’ Pumpkin”…well, I don’t even need to comment.
Ah, I remember when Grown Pumpkin was just a little coffee table punkin’. He was the runt of the punkin litter. But as I have much experience in raising pumpkins and teaching them the ways of the world, I knew he would pull through. I fed him cornflakes and gave him Flintstones vitamins, and then I started taking him to Old Country Buffet, and the little pumpkin grew and grew. Sometimes he has big hopes and dreams–for example, he thinks he’s doing to do a 20-in-20. Pumpkin must have been watching a Relacore commercial and musta gotten all fired up.
Spanky, I’m sure Punkin will have plenty to say about that post…hell, I’m gonna go ahead and write it for him:
First of all, you never “took me” to OCB. I was rockin out at OCB before you’d ever heard of it. We used to go in for breakfast on Saturday morning and sleep in the booth for an hour between breakfast and lunch. I even crapped my biscuits one time. I had already established my husk by the time you met me, so don’t act like you were a part of some “beefing up” process. If you need references, we’ll go back to the ol’ Mac lunchroom and dig up at least 10 or 15 employee witnesses to my seminars back in high school (read: scoops of turkey slop hidden under my slices of pizza so I didn’t have to pay for it all). In addition, there are at least 50 more people who will testify on my behalf that I wore the eating belt until Roy took it away from me (and there is no dishonor in losing an eating contest to Roy…Taguchi can co-sign to that). So you really don’t remember anything about me being a little pumpkin. I’ve always been Grown Pumpkin, at least as long as you’ve known me. Don’t try to take credit for what it took me years to build.
Cornflakes: yuck.
Vitamins: yuck.
20 in 20: put it in the bank (although Taguchi will not co-sign to this one).
Pumpkin out.
That last comment is some of Taguchi’s best work. His Pumpkin impression is dead on, although I get the sense that he’s genuinely defending Pumpkin on some issues. He is right about a number of things. But I do have some qualms:
I will remind Taguchi that the McGee family has been getting it done for a long time, and Ma and Pop McGee squarely brought us up in Shakey’s Pizza, Taco Bell, and Arby’s. I refer Taguchi to McGee children #1, #2 and #4 especially.
I am also several years older than Pumpkin, so I won’t hear any talk that I hadn’t heard of OCB before he had.
I am not a heavyweight–granted. But Taguchi
*knows* I am very capable. I refer him to my last burrito seminar in DM.
All in all, a fine post from Reverend Taguchi.
Buuuuhh-rrroooooooow,
You don’t rate my posts. I had to teach this lesson to Pumpkin a long time ago. You grading my material is like Lars grading Danny Carey’s drumming. I know my comment was good…that’s why I posted it.
Ah, now Taguchi has pissed his praise away. Now he’s starting to sound like a certain drummer I know who said that he could drum DC off the throne. Funny that I haven’t seen Taguchi pull off a drum solo in some time (keeping the analogy going).
Somebody is too busy fluffing up his feathers to accept some genuine praise. It wasn’t about rating.
Furthermore, I’ll say yet again: RED HERRING.
Thus, I have two quotes for you, Tagooch:
“Nice shot, kid. Don’t get cocky.”
“Stay on target.”
I don’t remember typing that comment above, but it looks mostly like something I’d write.
Also I remember being heckled for being husky when I first met Spanky. Since then I have “Brought Husky Back” and spawned a culture that Spinkles has welcomed as his favorite band would say, “with arms wide open.” If you would have “bought in” back in the day lil’ guy, you could have been a fellow pioneer.
21 in 21 - coming soon. Smooches to David Blaine.
Also this fish saw the Barry Bonds bait and swam away, “my baby ain’t no juicer.”
Lastly I was seen (more caught really) drinking Popeye’s dirty gravy tonight and felt different about myself.
Back in those days, I couldn’t get husky. My metabolism was too high. I think Taguchi’s was, too. But man, it has slowed down, I’ve added 40 pounds, and I feel grrrrrrreat.
But I often had the urge to be husky, seeing as I was down for rockin’ mustard-slathered chicken strips first thing at 11 and then at 5–gunshot start of the meal. I also rocked the The Sub frequently (The Sub ruled. One of our alma mater’s greatest crimes was getting rid of it. Tagooch will testify.)
In other news, 21 in 21 will not happen. Shit–I doubt 10 in 10.
I haven’t hit KFC in ages. I should be penalized.