I was just watching this event called “baseball” or something like that. In between innings, there was a commercial for a credit card that now allows you to go through the checkout lane without punching in a PIN or signing a slip, so long as the purchase is under $25. That’s sooooooooooo fucking sweet.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t have time to wait to punch in 4 numbers and then “Enter.” All that adds up. So much life… wasted…. punching numbers. I need to get rid of all the money I don’t have… right now. If you have that kind of time, it’s probably because you’re unemployed, worthless, and lazy. Well, you’re unemployed and worthless because you’re lazy. After all, people never lose their jobs or fail to get jobs because of anything else but laziness. If you’re punching numbers at the counter, you should be embarrassed–big time. Lahoooooossssserrrrrrrrr.
I’m in a bigass hurry to get to Walmart. There’s a plasma screen TV (yep, Wally World sells ‘em) with my name all over it. I’ll watch that for a while until a new one comes out. Can’t be lame. Will have to get a new one. What if all that number-punching slows me down and Sally McSelf-absorbed beats me to the new TV? (I hate Sally McSelf-absorbed. I wouldn’t stop to help that bitch out of a blizzard. I have places to be, too.). I must have the newest and best things. After all, I don’t want to drive down property values in my neighborhood.

So, why the hell I am writing on this goddamned website? Fuck this. I need to go spend some money… and fast.

[Spanky erased all previous comments on this post, as they got out of control 10-26-06]