Hey douche! you got caught. Like I care, since the Sox were as depleted as the North Korean food supply… face it you moron, you had pine tar on your hand and you got caught, don’t play dumb. Of course, you’re not going to admit it and I bet Tim McCarver’s panties were all in a bunch when you didn’t get tossed.

I’d like to see fellow New Hampshire-ite Chris Carpenter win tonight, but I couldn’t give a fat fuck who wins it all, cause it’s baaseball and baseball without my Sox is like a one night stand without the dirty slut in bed.

Kenny… buddy… if you’re going to cheat, don’t make it so obvious. Take some lessons from the master, Gaylord Perry. Hide it. Conceal it. Don’t put the fucking crap on your hand you tool.

P.S. - I hope Tim McCarver drops dead in the booth and Joe Buck trips over his dead carcass and breaks his scrawny neck. You can’t hold a candle to your father.