Just because I’d do unspeakable things to Albert Pujols for far less money than it would take for me to do them to any other man (and we’re talking millions vs. billions here), it doesn’t mean that he is, in fact, my #1 man crush. Nope. AP makes my world turn, yes, but he doesn’t invoke those pure feelings of affection. For me, it’s good ole “Ocho Cinco.”
That’s right. Chad Johnson. Not my favorite athlete…but the one dude I wish I could call up to ride bikes with. Never mind that “eighty-five” en Espanol is actually “ochenta y cinco”…it’s all good. He shaved the mohawk cuz they lost last week (and you know he didn’t want to see that go, but the wager was quality). He’s 100% colorful…fun to the point that he called out Ray Lewis this week (the baddest man in the NFL), and Ray was cheezin the whole time he responded to it. He can’t be mad at my guy.
Oh yeah, he’s also a money performer, although this season has not been his best. His coach told him to chill at the start of the season, but he’s announced that he’s gonna be ignoring that advice from now on. Look for CJ to crank up both the TDs and the celebrations right through the playoffs.
His work ethic is strong (although the humility angle in this link may be overplayed…I saw him declare himself the “best receiver in the NFL on TV this morning).
Most importanly, the dude loves his team and (in spite of his personal antics) is programmed to win games. Example? This was after they lost a game last year to the Jags.
Here’s to you, Ocho Cinco…can you come outside and play kickball?
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02 Nov 2006 Bro Taguchi
FYI–you probably can’t find video of any of his celebrations anywhere on the net…NFL has weeded that shit out.
Tagooch
“4-1…. that ain’t alright.”
BWAAAAAAA! That’s absurd. Completely absurd. Gettin’ all ‘motional over the ghost of Bengals past.
In fact, this entire post is absurd.
I’m going to go watch Jim Mora some more. Ocho-cinco is crying about losing one, and JM “just hopes we can win a game.”
Ocho Cinco will cry if they lose to the Chargers next week…given that the Broncos are tied with SD, I might cry too.
Is there Hawkeye fan out there who can spell out the proper protocol for crying after your team loses? Anyone?
I learned my protocol by watching Cardinals fans in 2005.
I learned my protocol by being a Brewers fan for 24 years. Though I’d still give Ned Yost a sensual massage. There I said it. It’s out there, and I can’t take it back.
I want to hear more about the “unspeakable things” that Gucci would counterfactually do to Albert Pujols for millions of dollars. And more importantly, can Spanky (Brant) watch for $100?
Well well well, looks who’s on here now.
This should get interesting.
Ah hahahahaha! Wonderful woman. We’re all, we’re all very fond of her. Very free-spirited.
Crying? Rass O-kay Raggy…I hear Detroit is beautiful in December.
I can’t tell you what I’d do to Al. It’s unspeakable. If I wrote about it, then it would be speakable, but it’s not…it’s unspeakable. So I can’t speak of it. Because I can’t speak of it, it’s unspeakable.
If I go roun’n’round enough, it totally makes sense.
“That of which we cannot speak, we must pass over in silence.”
Of course, despite the fact that it may not be “speakable” or “sayable,” it might still be SHOWABLE.
I don’t want to see Taguchi SHOW anything.