Arby’s has a “meatball sandwich.” I live by a credo which this sandwich recently tested: If you are a food establishment, and you’re bold enough to make a meatball sub…you’ll get my biz at least once. Guaranteed. Arby’s got my biz about 2 weeks ago. Those little grape-sized things (which were the consistency of rubber) were supposed to be meatballs. It was SPAM…or the meatball equivalent of SPAM. I don’t really care…I still ate it. It resembled a meatball sub…but it wasn’t good. Arby’s may have already subliminally gotten my memo because the meatball is nowhere on their website (but I still think they’re still offering it).

Unless you live by the same credo as me and you refuse to let it go, then there’s no need for you to embark on this disastrous mission. However, I’ll bet $100 that Pumpkin will hook up the Arby’s meatball in spite of my warning. That’s why he’s the Punkin.

My advice: stick to the Total Happiness…the mother of all meatball sandwiches (at least from a franchise). Spanky may not agree, but Subway’s still the king of meatballs: