Soupy Trumpet, via its satellite news source CNN, has determined that the most important news of the day is that Britney Spears is divorcing Kevin Federline.

Britney dropped his ass and then went ice skating.

Stay tuned to Soupytrumpet.com for developments on this omni-important news story, and ignore all other “news.”

Hit refresh on your browser every 20 seconds to see whether updates on Britney pop up.

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