This is some janky-ass photoshop–no doubt about it. During the Democratic Debate of January 31st, 2008, I noticed that Hillary has a strange resemblance to….

Which one is Darth? Which one is Hillary Clinton?

YOU DECIDE, DAMNIT!

I, Pumpkin Pewtershmidt, was driving along yesterday and saw a huge amount of dark black smoke on the horizon and after driving closer saw that it was a vehicle completely in flames.  I was stopped at the light and popped the iPhone out and snapped a couple of pictures right before a part of it exploded and scared the lady in the minivan behind me into almost rear-ending the Pumpkin Cruiser v1. (aka Kitt).  I didn’t see the news, so I have zero other details.

“There’s nothing to see here, move along.” - Officer Barbrady

It has been announced that there will be a new Nightmare On Elm Street movie being made by New Line Cinema.  They haven’t decided whether or not Robert Englund will be Freddy Krueger or not.  Because the role may be up for grabs, I nominate Mr. Cowbell Christopher Walken to take on the role.  I have absolutely nothing to base this on other than it fits in my mind.  Hopefully the movie will be way better than the last few.  Afterall Freddy is only the 40th ranked film villian according to the AFI… CW could certainly raise that a touch.

I hate to pile on people unless they are bona fide haters. Britney Spears has been in a free fall for sometime and the media has been throwing down on her every step of the way (and rightfully so to an extent). However today, January 31, 2008, Britney Spears has taken another ride in an ambulance from her home via armored motorcade to the UCLA Medical Center hospital to “get help”.

This is good news because ultimately it could save her life, provide more entertainment, and most of all get those kids away from the ex-backup dancer-current Chauncie-K-Fed aka Kevin Federline from Oregon that beat Great Puma in Pro Wrestling on NES. Britney’s mother, Lynn Spears, says she is doing alright and the hospital is keeping her in a “mental evaluation hold” so we may not see Britney in the news for awhile… then again we may see her pull a Michael Scofield and break out of that bitch and hop right back on the crazy train. By the way, her not so new album is pretty hot.

You can get the full story at omg minus the jank photshop.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/128/412138380_a9177ffbfa.jpg

Bro Taguchi kinda looks like So.

After careful consideration of Grown Pumpkin’s recent post (http://soupytrumpet.com/2008/01/30/have-dog-poop-delivered/) , the corporate board of Soupy Trumpet has approved our plans to enter the dogshit delivery business. We will directly take on Dogdoo.com, and we will mail higher quality dog crap at lower prices.

WE WILL MATCH ALL COMPETITORS’ PRICES!!!

DON’T BE FOOLED BY CHEAP KNOCKOFFS !!!

BUY ALL THE DOG SHIT YOU EVER WANTED!!!

This is NOT the work of Pumpkin Dali, just something found on the net. It’s exactly as it appears: a fat/husky guy photoshopped into a Mini Cooper.  I thought it was pretty funny and janky at the same time (Bonus points for being husky).

That is all.

original location of image: http://www.scangwinnett.com/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&t=12619&start=15

Friend of The Trumpet RyGuy was telling old Spanks and me about a website he heard about from one of his college textbooks (wtf?) where you can buy dog poop (dung, doo doo, feces, waste, crap, etc.) and have it sent to someone as a gift or as a prank. I did not doubt him but had to see for myself and sure enough DogDoo.com lives up to the billing. It even had the various types you can order that we were told about; “Econo“, “Grande“, “Special“, and the “Poo Poo Platter”. You can also accessorize up with mugs and t-shirts. I at first felt a bit off about posting on this but when I saw they had been mentioned in Maxim and Time magazines, I quickly got over that and fired up photoshop. There are a few other sites offering a similar service and that makes me wonder whether or not my new dog Mudbutt and I should start our own operation… I mean I could be throwing away money… DogDoo is getting $14-$29 a loaf.

update: According to Trump reader Greg, this is a”realistic novelty” and not the real deal. He says there was a company selling the real deal and they got shut down. Spanky says we should go ahead with opening up our own… agree especially now. el oh el.

I’ve got a message for you. I, MC Spanky McGee, hereby endorse:

Takeru Kobayashi for President. May his huskiness guide our great nation.

Apparently, some of our candidates are not up to the task.

-Agent Spanks

Pumpkin was doing some research on the internet for another Trumpet Blast and stumbled across a pretty awesome thread in a bulletin board on MusicBanter.com called “The Crap Album Cover World Cup” and I had to share it with The Trump. It starts off with a GEM and keeps going from there. The album cover above was picked STRICTLY because of the twin-huskyness of the Amason Twins.

Within that thread I found a link to another collection of similar images at the Museum of Bad Album Covers that has tons of heavy-metal and other craptastic record covers. Then I tried to research those Husky Twins from above their and found one of the strangest websites ever that has me feeling different about myself. It is called purgatorio.com and their tagline is “a panoply of evangelical eccentricities, un-orthodox oddities & christian cultural curiosities”. From what I gather it is a bunch of weird racist church related pictures. Worth a few seconds of your time to click on it.

Amazing how I just did a ‘6 degrees of Kevin Bacon’ that connected crossdressing men on album covers to a polka mass.