DO WORK!!!

I’m like Justin Timberlake in many ways, one of them is in the fact that I want to see more videos played on MTV. That being said, I would gladly give up ALL videos if they would ONLY play (good) episodes of Jackass, Viva La Bam, Remote Control, Adventures in Hollyhood, Liquid Television, and Rob & Big.

I just purchased the first two seasons of Rob & Big on DVD and watched the first of the two straight through. I have to point out that this show is not new, I am not ahead of the game for pointing this out, and in fact The Trump may be reporting “yesterday’s news” on how cash this show really is. In addition I will throw Spanky under the bus and say that is not aware of this show…further more I would bet the Pumpkin Patch that Big Head Taguchi has no idea either.

To summarize this show for my older colleagues and uninformed readers; it is a reality show that is centered around professional skate boarder Rob Dyrdek and his hired bodyguard Christopher “Big Black” Boykin. These two visually opposite people live together in an awesome house (”3 Layers of Heaven”) and get into shenanigans on every episode.

I want to make a partial list of items that can mostly be seen in season 1 that have warranted them FULL Trump endorsement without discussion. If you have seen these items you will understand, if not, get on it.

• Manpon -
  Rob told Big Black to go “Drop Ham” (putt his huge butt on a face) on Rob’s cousin Drama, when he did that you could see his manpon… he then took it out and showed the skid mark.“Its like a napkin folded together so if cough or sneeze and a little run comes out it hits that manpon.”

  “I got mud butt son. I was scared if I farted I would shit on myself. I had 40 hot wings last night so I had to manpon it up son.” - Big Black

• 416 lbsBig Black was so big they had to way him at the recycling center. He went on a diet and exercised for a couple of weeks and didn’t lose a single pound…he weighed 416 lbs before and after his diet

  “I’m about 375-380…I’m light… quick like a gazelle”

• Dog Named”Meaty” with a broken anal gland and that swallows chicken bones whole
• Big Black & Bam Bam’s rapgroup The Chunky Boys
• Mini-Horse named”Mini” that has “dusty poos”

image source : The Phoenix

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Today’s busters are JamaicanKillah and W1CK3D SN1P3Rv.

Pumpkin and I ran into these clowns on 1/17/2008. Yes, we lost to these turds, and they talked shit to us after the game, with W1CK3D SN1P3Rv shattering our eardrums with a prepubescent voice that sounded awfully close to the pitch of a dogwhistle. I’m sure his stepmom’s bastard corgi hates him. Pumpkin asked W1CK3D SN1P3Rv, “What are you–12?” His comeback was, “No, I’m 13.”

Look, bro, spend some time working on your cracks. That shit is weak tea. At least say, “Scoreboard” or something like that.
We ran into them again today, and we lost to them by four. I asked W1CK3D SN1P3Rv if he’s still twelve. He replied, “Why don’t you guys get some girls?”

W1CK3D SN1P3Rv, it feels like warm apple pie. Warm apple pie.

My retort: “Get some pubes.” I’m sure you’ll discover your stepmom’s Victoria’s Secret catalogue soon enough. Gotta crawl before you…

I hate losing to little mark-ass bustas, but hearing how diluted their insults were made my day.

-Spanks

PS. I really hate gamers with “sniper” embedded in their gamertags. How fucking stupid! “Silent sniper12.” “Deadly sniper17.” “Douchesniper69.” Grab the rockets and blast these unimaginative wannabe-teabaggers off the board….

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