In case you can’t remember, The Hunt for Red October is fucking awesome. It’s been playing on AMC lately.

Why is it so awesome, you ask?

To keep it short, it is for the simple reason that the Russian sub captain, Marko Ramius, has had enough of the USSR’s bullshit and he’s ready to float his ass into NYC and maybe go to Montana. And he’s bringing that glorious warship with him. If you’re going to defect, that’s the fucking way to do it. The only way to one-up would be to do it with a fucking aircraft carrier… Honk the horn as you park that bitch next to the Statue of Liberty: “BUH BUH BITCHES!”

What else is cool is that he tricks his crew into bailing out from the sub. Ramius (with Russian accent): “Sorry, guys, I know your feeble minds cannot comprehend sweeeeeet nature of American girls at American dance club, so get the fuck off my boat….” And off they go on their little rafts, probably to be deported back to the old USSR.

You don’t hear of movies with American captains defecting. It should be obvious as to why. But in case you forgot, it’s because WE’RE FUCKING AWESOME.

Bro Taguchi adds:

Don’t forget the audacity of the entire plot: I’m [Ramius] such a badass that there’s some credulous little punk in the bowels of a CIA office with no windows studying my every move like he’s following a true champion…which he is. I’ll just wait for him to come bail us out when we get stuck…the “buckaroo”

Check this movie out–again–when you have a chance.

-Agent Spanks