Daily Archives: February 13, 2008

Duct Tape Has So Many Uses, Including Taping Students to Desks

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A middle school teacher in Jacksonville, FL was suspended after she duct taped her student to his desk.

baby.jpg

As we’ve heard many times before, there are lots of great uses…like this. I’m sympathetic to the stress a middle school student can cause a teacher. My dad taught middle school, and sometimes I’d spend 5 minutes there and leave needing purification in the waters of Lake Minnetonka. But it’s far too easy to brow-beat this woman (who’s already paying the price for her indiscretion). My only question is…WHO KEEPS DUCT TAPE IN THE CLASSROOM? Was this pre-meditated…like the time my 8th grade music teacher wrote out office referrals for Lip and me and kept them stuck to her file cabinet every day for an entire semester? Who knows. She said it was a joke and the class was laughing…we’ll act like you didn’t say that. Take your 10 days, go to the sensitivity training and I won’t be mad atcha.

“LESSON LEARNED”
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Piven photo

Baby photo

Finger Eleven’s Bad Lyrics: Paralyzer

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This Finger Eleven song Paralyzer has been out for almost a year (March 6 will officially mark a full year of sucktitude). I wouldn’t care so much, but they are STILL PLAYING THIS THING ON THE RADIO. Actually, the tune is a decent hook (decent, I say) and I remember thinking the song was OK when I first heard it. Then they played it so many times I actually listened to the lyrics. GOOD F&#ING GOD. Perhaps if I clown those lyrics a bit on the Trump I’ll feel better…so here goes my cathartic attempt at satiation:

I hold on so nervously
To me and my drink holdin on to what…your junk, bro?
I wish it was cooling me we get it…you’re hot
But so far has not been good “not good” = “shitty”
It’s been shitty (yes, yes…you told Brandt. Brandt told me)
And I feel awkward as I should awkward…how bout nauseous?
This club has got to be Pretentious. adj. claiming or demanding a position
The most pretentious thing of distinction or merit, especially when unjustified
Since I thought you and me (an inanimate object can’t claim/demand anything)
Well I am imagining
A dark lit place well, at least “place” rhymes with “place” and “place”
Or your place or my place

Well I’m not paralyzed Translation: I’ve seen better but I’d still do ya
But I seem to be struck by you
I wanna make you move
Because you’re standing still
If your body matches OK–if that’s the case then her body can undress
What your eyes can do you with her eyes (i.e.–not undress you)
You’ll probably move right through
Me on my way to you ???????????????????????????

I hold out for one more drink
Before I think
I’m looking too desperately adjective/adverb
But so far has not been fun
I should just stay home
If one thing really means one ?????????????????????
This club will hopefully Active wish
Be closed in three weeks (WHICH ONE IS IT BRO?)
That would be cool with me Passive approval
Well I’m still imagining
A dark lit place second verse…same as the 1st
Or your place or my place

Well I’m not paralyzed
But I seem to be struck by you
I wanna make you move
Because you’re standing still THANK YOU FOR NOT WRITING A 3RD VERSE
If your body matches
What your eyes can do
You’ll probably move right through
Me on my way to you
[repeat 3x]

You’ll probably move right through
Me on my way to you
[repeat]

I got the lyrics at:

http://www.onlylyrics.com/hits.php?grid=2&id=1003974

NOPE…I still hate it.

images.jpg Well, at least he’s feelin it…bof hands on the mic

photo link

Microsoft’s Bill Gates is Done with Social Networking Site Facebook

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Bill Gates Breakup with Facebook

In October of 2007, Microsoft invested $240 million into Facebook, the booming MySpace-alternative. The purchase was for about 1.6% of the company that was believed to be the front runner to become the top social and business networking site on the internet. This week in February 2008 has proven to be a hard week for social networking platforms altogether. Several reports have been linked to users tiring of the advertising on these networks and employers have their own concerns as well. These sites tend to eat up bandwidth, consume workers’ time, and lead to sensitive information issues, all of which are counterproductive in the workplace.

Facebook had just recently taken a round of hits for releasing private information to third parties via Beacon and news is hitting the internet that M$oft Chairman Bill Gates quit using Facebook. Quitfacebook.com has popped up mocking many of the concerns that Gates and other users have been having of the site. Gates cited too many friend requests as his reason for not spending his daily 30 minutes on the site any longer. With this being right before Valentine’s Day it makes you wonder if he dumped Facebook to avoid buying a gift? I am sure we will know in a few days if they are back together or not or if this is a permanent break-up. Did the Microsoft woos to Yahoo make Facebook jealous or was Yahoo’s initial temporary rejection too hard on Bill?

News: “Microfiber fabric makes its own electricity?” Spanky brainstorms the possibilities.

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http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSN1334… 

U.S. scientists have developed a microfiber fabric that generates its own electricity, making enough current to recharge a cell phone or ensure that a small MP3 music player never runs out of power.”

First of all, why is this in “Oddly Enough News”? This is big time, baby.

Second, I can think of a shitload of uses for this technology.

  1. Grown Pumpkin’s Game Boy will never run of out batteries again, so long as he walks to the refrigerator every now and then.
  2. Bro Taguchi can power his Walkman as he’s driving to Culver’s.
  3. Stooge can power his light-up clown nose.
  4. Make lingerie out of this stuff and we can power the entire country.
  5. Finally, your damn cat can be useful:

thunder power cat

-MC Spanky McGee

quick headlines at our fav blogs 2/13/2008 3:24 PM

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Super soupy headline: Gizmodo: Inferno Speaker Blaster Makes you Vomit

Lifehacker:

http://www.sogoodblog.com/: Bacon and egg ice cream

Stone Temple Pilots and Hot Boys Both Have Reunion Shows Set

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Stone Temple Pilots and Hot Boys Reunions

Two music groups from two different genres but both gaining success in the 1990′s will be joining New Kids On the Block on the list of band reunion shows set to take stage this year.

Stone Temple Pilots have confirmed that they will re-join lead singer Scott Weiland, currently in rehab again and also of the super-group Velvet Revolver, for a show May 17th in Columbus, Ohio.  The show will be played at the Columbus Crew Stadium as part of the Rock On the Range festival that also includes Kid Rock, 3 Doors Down, Serj Tankian of System of a Down, Papa Roach, Disturbed, Staind, Seether, and others.  This will be their first show together in 6 years.  No further shows have been announced yet, but awhile back Velvet Revolver guitarist Slash went on record as saying that Weiland was planning a handful of summer reunion shows for STP.

The Hot Boys have spurred solo careers for all of their members.  Back in the 90′s in New Orleans Cash Money Records was getting going as one of the hottest rap labels.  The Hot Boys were the act signed and included Juvenile, Lil’ Wayne, B.G., and the currently incarcerated Turk.  This weekend the Hot Boys (minus Turk obviously) will be joined by DJ Mannie Fresh and Bun B of UGK in one of his first major appearances since losing partner Pimp C not too long ago.  This show will be part of the NBA All Star Weekend at a weekend-long party thrown by NBA stars Baron Davis and Chris Paul.  The Hot Boys have also stated a new album is in the works for this year.  No further dates have been announced and the involvement of producer Birdman has not been clearly stated.

Heart-shaped traffic light in Brussels? We are NOT to be outdone.

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Bro Taguchi pointed out this story about how there are heart-shaped lights in Brussels for Valentine’s Day.

heart-shaped traffic light

Aw, that’s soooo cuuuuute. Just as cute as:

puppies_1.jpg and kitten01.jpg and

pumpkin puke http://www.dirtybutton.com/media/db1166-pumpkin-puke.jpg

But I thought this would be a nice candidate for an American model for traffic lights on Valentine’s day:

ding-dong-traffic-light.jpg

I think it brings out the way that many, though not all, people will celebrate Valentine’s Day.

Michael Jackson’s Thriller Album Turns 25 and Prisoners Dance

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Michael Jackson Thriller 25 Photoshop

Yesterday Michael Jackson‘s Thriller, “The World’s Biggest Selling Album Of All Time”, was re-released celebrating the 25th anniversary of the landmark album.  Two versions of the album are available for purchase; standard and deluxe.  Both versions contain the nine original, Quincy Jones produced tracks as well as seven bonus tracks for the 25th Anniversary Edition.  Six of these songs have been released for the first time on this album.

New for this version are songs done by contemporary artists.  Soupy Trumpet favorite will.i.am helped to make 2008 updated versions of “The Girl is Mine” (originally with Paul McCartney) and P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing).  Black Eyed Peas bandmate Fergie collaborated on “Beat It 2008″.  Grammy Awards star Kanye West did a remix of “Billie Jean” for the album and Akon’s version of “Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’ has been the primary source of buzz for this release.  There is an unreleased track excerpt from the Vincent Price voice-over sessions added and available only at Best Buy there is a “Thriller (def Remix)” exclusive hidden track.  “For All Time” is the only bonus track from the original Thriller sessions that had not been released before.  Also included is a bonus DVD that comes with videos for “Billie Jean”, “Beat It”, “Thriller”, and the live performance of “Billie Jean” at the “Motown 25:Yesterday, Today, and Forever” special.

Thriller is credited for selling 27 million albums in the United States, making it #2 of all time behind the Eagles’ Greatest hits.  Around the world though, Thriller has sold 104 million albums which makes it the biggest selling album in the world to date.

A few months ago (if not longer) another famous Viral Video popped up on YouTube and the internet of 1500 Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center (CPDRC) in Cebu, Philippines rehearsing their Thriller dance routine.  There are very few things more surreal than a large group of prisoners choreographing Thriller while incarcerated (link to video below).

[youtube width="425" height="355"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMnk7lh9M3o[/youtube]

“I’m not a dude…”; Officer Suspended After Skateboarder Rant

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Check out the aftermath in the news here.

[youtube width="499" height="417"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60XZIuUjHO4[/youtube]

“I’ll smack you upside your head.”

“I’m not ‘man,’ I’m not ‘dude…’ You go around doin’ this stuff, and someone is gonna kill you.”

“Stop calling me ‘dude.’ A dude is someone who works on a ranch.”

My dear readers, I gotta tell ya, I’m getting old. And I’m just smart enough to know that we need law and order.

So I look at these kids, and I think, “Shut your piehole, bro. You’re asking for it.” Maybe I even break out my shivering grandpa-fist and wheeze out, “You damn kids….” I also know that cops have tough jobs, and they’re under a lot of stress. I generally have a lot of respect for them.

But, Salvatore Rivieri, you are a dildonic, douchebaggish, assholish, motherfucker. How are you going to make veiled death threats against a classic, skateboarding, 14-year old punk kid?

Rivieri, you sound ‘roided out. “A dude is someone who works on a ranch”? Come on, bro. You know damn well that the expression is looser than that. You had to have rocked out in the 80s. That you are so concerned with your title shows that you are obsessed with your power status. I don’t think that this is an isolated incident. I think you need an ego check. Maybe you should get a buddy and play Grown Pumpkin and me in team doubles on Halo 3.

For real ‘doh, I’d say that this is definitely not a case of the police winning hearts and minds.

NWA

MC Spanky McGee says, “Fuck da abusive police….” Please note the qualifier….

Update: 2 /13/2008 11:24 AM

On the Youtube page, absolutetruth2 replies to the video:

What a dumbass kid!! I wish the cop would have just shot him dead on the spot and saved the community from decades of having to pay welfare for his stupid ass. So much for the next great generation of Americans.”

This is a fine example of some wannabe fiscal conservative who hides his ultimate desire to kill indiscriminately behind his prediction of how this particular kid will turn out. Well, I got news for you, absolutetruth2, your statement shows how stupid you are. Don’t act like you were some kid that was a little angel when you were 14. In the words of Ricky from Trailer Park Boys, “Fuck off.” Asshole.

MC Spanky McGee still has some rebellion left in him. Sometimes he just doesn’t give a shit.