“pubescent boys” and landing at the Soupy Trumpet.

1. We will kick whoever you are in the junk

2. We will kick whoever you are in the onion-bag, and

3. We will kick whoever you are in the zubra.

MC Spanky McGee

Not to be outdone by Lego Halo, Soupy Trumpet Games, Inc. is proud to unleash:

Lego Adventure

Kill Lego dragons! Find the Lego key! Move the Lego bridge!

Look damnit, if you want everything to look all blocky and janky like some real Legos, just go retro and play Atari 2600. Stop feeding me this bullshit.

-MC Spanky McGee

Xbox 360 Fanboy found a scan of the upcoming issue of Electronic Gaming Monthly (EGM) that depicts Master Chief and the Halo crew in a new game based off of the hit Lego series of games.  They have since updated their article to say that this is not an actual game, but an April Fool’s joke.  I wish it were true, this would be a fun game… the cartoony controls would probably be the same, but the frame rate and graphics would likely be a tad better.  I can’t wait for the Lego Batman and Lego Indiana Jones games that are coming.

Gotta love when journalism follows rule #1 - Go to Print With Anything.  (see Fox News for more of this rule in action)

Sources: Van Halen Tour Not Being Canceled

Despite reports to the contrary, sources with Van Halen tell Billboard the band’s tour is not being canceled, though tonight’s (March 3) scheduled show at the American Airlines Center in Dallas has been postponed and rescheduled for April 24.”

Van Halen, who has battled cancer and substance abuse, “is undergoing a battery of comprehensive medical tests to determine a defined diagnosis and recommended medical procedures,” reads a statement from the group’s management. No further details were given.

I thought Eddie’s walker broke, or maybe Diamond Dave needed hip replacement. Shit, I go far as to say that the entire band (except Vulfie, of course) is due for literal and total reincarnation. Maybe they’ll come back as a band of goldfish or something.

(Below: Edward Van Halen rocks out)

Gizmodo.com

Trent Reznor Releases Nine out of Thirty-Six Tracks on Free Download

Trent is no idiot, and he knows what the future of the music biz looks like. You’ll see more and more of this kind of promotion from high-profile artists, but I wonder how smaller acts will move along.

Audiophile Deathmatch: Monster Cables vs. a Coat Hanger

Maybe we’re all deaf, hmmm, Kip Casper?

Lifehacker.com
Close Down All Non- Essential Windows Apps with EndItAll

This is the kind of hack I like. Kill off some apps on your computer.

CNN.com

North Church goes high-tech with LEDs

Who said the church couldn’t get their tech-dork suit on?

Sogoodblog.com
Major League Eating: The Game on Wii

Obstinate Couple Hates Chicken Sandwiches

My comment:

We all know that Ned Flanders uses “Darn it” as a substitute for “Damn it”–and he’s not cussing–but don’t ya think he might as well do it? (I’m arguing for full-throttle cussing). He *means* basically the same thing (especially given that he knows what he’s doing with the substitution).

Then again, cussing is fun and cathartic because it is so-often forbidden, and our euphemistic “cuss”-words highlight that fact.

Spanky’s verdict: in favor of Sheetz. The couple is going on their subjective interpretation. Not enough to warrant penalty.

In late 2007 Lewis Bennett was the teenager in Plymouth Township, PA. that thwarted a planned Columbine-style shooting by informing on a husky student, Dillon Cossey, that had stockpiled weapons (with the help of his husky mother Michelle Cossey) for the assault on school bullies. For this heroic act, President George W. Bush called Lewis Bennett a “hero” and even “praised his courage”. Allegedly George Bush asked for Halo 3 cheat codes when they met and thanked him for the “pwnage”.

Fast forward to early 2008, just a few months later and then “Hero” Lewis Bennett has now been busted for joining other teens in a robbery. Bennett and others went through the unsecured window of another student and ripped off an Xbox 360, an iPod, and some air guns. Bennett got caught when he sold one of those $50 Xbox 360 controllers for a measly $20 at school and then tried to peddle his other goods like a pawn shop. Attorneys are chalking this up as fame and attention causing him to lash out. At least they aren’t saying he was “under the influence of Grand Theft Auto“.

* Note: This is not Lewis Bennett, this is a photoshop of President George W. Bush pinning a medal on The Fugitive played by Harrison Ford. This is intended to imply George Bush is honoring a criminal. This is meant to be funny.