A recent Sports Illustrated survey of baseball fans nationwide ranked the Milwaukee Brewers’ Miller Park the second-best baseball stadium in the nation, in terms of home-fan satisfaction:

Now Griff would rank MP at #1, given that the top spot went to Progressive Park in Cleveland, which is not so progressive as to actually have built a retractable dome for their often-cold-and-rainy city:

As Brewer’s radio announcer Jim Powell points out on his blog, the Indians actually had to vacate PP (ha!) last April due to snowy weather. And where did they go to play 3 games against the Angels? Miller-f*ing-Park!

Now apparently home fans in Cleveland are slightly more satisfied with their home ballpark than are Milwaukee fans, and it appears that this may have something to do with the fact that they serve chicken and waffles (hopefully not together) at PP. Of course, they’re going to be freezing their wet asses off while eating their oh-so-delicious soul food.

However, MP took the trophy for food. I mean, five different kinds of Klements sausage + secret stadium sauce?

Cmon! Get those rain-soaked soggy waffles outta my face!

Cleveland fans should remember that the retractable dome not only saved their asses last year, but may do so again in the future. While I was not always a big fan of the RD, I think it really is a must-have for Midwestern ballparks in the new millennium. Since the US hasn’t done anything much to stop climate change, the weather during the spring season sucks ass and will only get worse - and baseball stadiums need to be able to deal with that kind of weather. Now Griff has done her share of freezing her ass off during hour-long rain delays at County Stadium because she had lower level box seats and wouldn’t move up to sheltered (non-box-seat) ground…but it blows. And for those of us who now have to travel long distances to see our team play, it really bites to see games get rained out.

So here’s to Miller Park - in my opinion, El Estadio Numero Uno for baseball!

Oh, and speaking of domes, Gooch will like this one from Jim Powell: “I also found it funny that Cardinals’ fans overrate their new stadium and underrate their team.” But we all know that Bro Taguchi does just the opposite, so let’s give him a few props while we’re at it.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/04/29/obama.wright/index.html

Sen. Barack Obama said he is “outraged” by comments his former minister, the Rev. Jeremiah Wright, made Monday at the National Press Club and “saddened by the spectacle.” “

In Die Hard, Hans Gruber is trying to chill out his crew as they’re trying to get to the $$$ in the vault. He says:

You asked for a miracle, I give you the FBI… “

He ain’t worried about the power systems because the FBI is going to bumble in and take care of their problems for them. Heist accomplished. (Or so Gruber thinks.)

Well, it’s about time that Wright has opened his big mouth again, because it gives Obama exactly what he needed: a chance to kick Wright to the curb fully. Obama can now claim that he did not understand earlier how far gone Wright was, how radical he was–and now Obama can distance himself fully.

I don’t know how much political posturing this amounts to. But Obama has to say it. And he’s said it quickly and forcefully. At any rate, there’s no way that Hillary is really going to be able to use it anymore….

-MC Spanky McGee

Here is a book for kids to help them understand their mother’s plastic surgery:

My Beautiful Mommy

Here is book for kids to help them understand marijuana:

It’s Just a Plant: A Children’s Story of Marijuana

Check out the story link on the marijuana book site.  One of my favorite lines is: “One night, Jackie woke up past her bedtime.  She smelled something funny in the air, so she walked down the hall to her parent’s bedroom.”

Here is a link to a video of Bill Moyers interviewing the philosopher Martha Nussbaum: http://www.pbs.org/moyers/journal/04182008/watch2.html

Here is part of the transcript of Moyers’s introduction:

BILL MOYERS: … Consider one of the highest rated news shows on cable television this week:
BROWN: Tonight, we bring you something different in this already extraordinary campaign year. We are calling it the Compassion Forum…
BILL MOYERS: The compassion forum on CNN was touted as an opportunity for the candidates to “discuss how their faith and moral convictions” might guide them as president of the United States.
BROWN: You said in an interview last year that you have actually felt the presence of the Holy Spirit on many occasions. Share some of those occasions with us.
MEACHAM: Do you believe God wants you to be president?
BROWN: If one of your daughters asked you, “Daddy, did God really create the world in six days?” What would you say?
MEACHAM: Senator, do you believe that God rewards or punishes people or nations in real time?
BILL MOYERS: If you don’t think those questions at least imply a religious test for office, try to imagine what would have happened if one of those candidates had answered, “Well, I find the concept of the supernatural rather shaky and the evidence for it insubstantial. To be honest, I’m agnostic. So let’s talk instead about how we’re going to find the money to rebuild our infrastructure.”
That candidate would be burned at the metaphorical equivalent of the heretic’s stake. So I have a suggestion for the next compassion forum. Turn the tables, and insist that the candidates get to quiz the moderators on how well they have read Martha Nussbaum’s new book: LIBERTY OF CONSCIENCE: IN DEFENSE OF AMERICA’S TRADITION OF RELIGIOUS EQUALITY.

There have been recent reports saying that masturbating frequently may lower the risk of developing prostate cancer. For example, here: http://www.efluxmedia.com/news_Masturbation_Reduces_Mens_Chance_to_Develop_Prostate_Cancer_16782.html

For the study, the researchers questioned over 1,000 men who had developed prostate cancer and 1,250 who had not about their sexual habits. They found that men who had ejaculated the most between the ages of 20 and 50 were the least likely to develop prostate cancer.

More than that, the researchers also have an explanation for their findings. Apparently, ejaculating may prevent carcinogens accumulating in the prostate gland. The prostate provides a fluid into semen during ejaculation that activates sperm and prevents them sticking together.”

However, U.S. News & World Report has questioned the recent reporting of the research, here: http://www.usnews.com/blogs/thinking-harder/2008/4/23/reporting-on-masturbation-cancer-link-is-wrong.html

Recent reporting you may have read on the health effects of masturbation is wrong. I don’t mean morally; I mean journalistically. PlanetOut reported on Monday that ‘BBC News reported on Wednesday’ that masturbating frequently may reduce a man’s risk of prostate cancer. Masturbating may or may not affect one’s cancer risk, but the only BBC report I can find on the subject is dated July 16, 2003—and it contains statistics that are identical to those cited by PlanetOut. (For what it’s worth, that day was indeed a Wednesday, according to this online tool.)”

However, if that doesn’t pan out, there has apparently been research done showing that masturbating while looking at porn can improve the sperm count in the ejaculate: http://loveandhealth.ifriends.net/Article.cfm?Topic=7&SubTopic=11&Article=132

A group of scientists at the Tottori University School of Medicine in Yonago Japan have recently compared semen produced through two different forms of masturbation in the same men. They examined the semen that resulted from simple masturbation and masturbation enhanced by, what they called, “sexually stimulating videotaped visual images” or “VIM.” The study was based on the hypothesis that the better quality ejaculation obtained in intercourse was the result of the increased sexual stimulation and the greater sexual satisfaction experienced during intercourse. They figured that if you could increase the level of stimulation and the sexual satisfaction a man felt during masturbation, the differences between masturbation and intercourse might disappear.”

http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/04/28/prayer.death.ap/index.html

Two parents who prayed as their 11-year-old daughter died of untreated diabetes were charged Monday with second-degree reckless homicide. “

Family and friends had urged Dale and Leilani Neumann to get help for their daughter, but the father considered the illness “a test of faith” and the mother never considered taking the girl to the doctor because she thought her daughter was under a “spiritual attack,” the criminal complaint said. “

GODDAMNIT. This is senseless. The parents and their preacher should all be put in prison. They were running around, using faith–and wouldn’t ya know it–faith turned out to get someone killed.

A day before Madeline died, according to the criminal complaint, the father wrote an e-mail with the headline, “Help our daughter needs emergency prayer!!!!.” It said his daughter was “very weak and pale at the moment with hardly any strength.” “

If you know anyone who is like this, call the cops and the loony-catchers on their dumbasses immediately.

It’s called science, and don’t you dare tell me that science “doesn’t have all the answers.” No shit, assface. I know that. But it sure as shit drives that computer you’re now using to view this goofy-ass website. That Gateway Pentium-II you’re on doesn’t run on the Bible or Jesus-juice.

DAMNIT!

-MC Spanky McGee

Dave Weckl, Vinnie Colaiuta, Steve Gadd tear it up on this video.

Unbelievable. These dudes tear it up. Big time.

Weckl gets bonus points for a mega-mullet.

-MC Spanky McGee

Rove offers advice to Barack Obama

See also: http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2008/04/28/rove-tells-obama-how-to-win/

Rove offers Obama six suggestions on how to win the nomination. While I can’t stand Karl Rove, I am rational just enough to see that he is offering solid advice here.

Here’s a good example in no. 1:

Your stump speech is sounding old and out of touch. You made a mistake by not giving the bored press (and voters) something new last Tuesday when you lost Pennsylvania. Come up with something fresh that’s focused on the general election. Recapture the optimistic tone of your start and discard the weary, prickly and distracted tone you’ve taken on. “

That is certainly true. Obama is tired of this campaign. You can tell. He seems lost. While I didn’t spend a lot of time trying to hunt down what he said about Pennsylvania, I have noticed that there have not been good fireworks from the Obama campaign lately. He needs the energy more than ever now, and Karl muthafuckin’ Rove is certainly correct about this. (God, writing that surely creeps me out. It’s like some little conservative alien is going to burst through my chest as I write this. “EEEEEEARRRRGGGHHHEEEEEROWWWWRRRRRR!” *Splat* *splat* *thump*. Yuck.)

You have talent, intelligence and tapped into something powerful early in your campaign. But running for president is unlike anything you’ve ever done. You’re making mistakes and making people worry that you’re an elitist. So while you’ll almost certainly win the nomination, Democrats are nervous about the fall. You’ve given them reasons to be. “

You get the sense that Rove respects his enemy here–deeply. And I can respect Rove for that. It’s very hard for someone to say that this political strategist is offering bad advice here.

-MC Spanky McGee

Apparently in Iowa City somebody felt the need to graffiti up a brick wall in a bar with the words “Pizza Hut is Awsome” in Sharpie. I love the enthusiasm, of course the Sharpie / jank handwriting, and the fact that “awesome” is misspelled only adds to the value.

This was sent to me via (what the kids are calling) text messaging from Spanky and Griff. I love it.

Also I do love Pizza Hut for their jackpot wings, best-in-the-business thin crust sausage, and the fact that they serve Mt. Dew from the fountain. That being said, they are the most ridiculously overpriced mainstream pizza chain in the business. Can we get a little moderation please?

Spanky would like to add that this is written on one of the humongous brick pillars at the Yacht Club, which is discussed in:
http://soupytrumpet.com….

A couple years back Subway broke my heart by removing the Steak and Cheese from their menu.  Since then they have been trying various versions of replacement sandwiches and finally they may have hit a homerun for me.

Going back as far as I can remember, the meat of the sandwich was tossed in with diced green peppers and onions, kept in a hot well with au jus, and tonged onto the sandwich.  The onions and peppers were a slight problem for me but I worked around them.  Then came the days of pre-portioned microwave meat.  This was still fine (although less meat than usual) because it was the same sandwich we had all come to love.  Then one day it went away and re-emerged as some chopped up meat with bigger onions and peppers and in my opinion tasted like nothing I wanted to eat again.

Last night I went to grab a late night $5 Subway footlong and saw a sign for the “Subway Big Philly Cheesesteak”.  I looked at the meat and it looked like the old school sandwich I had loved.  The girl told me it was not eligible for the $5 deal because it includes double meat and double cheese already.  The 6 inch sandwich was $4.99 and the footlong was $8.79.  I decided to go with the little fella with American cheese and a ton of pepper.  It was no philly cheesesteak, but it was close to the sandwich I used to love.  Admittedly I kind of miss the onion and pepper flavoring that I used to hate.

I am going back right now to reconfirm that this was not a dream.  Thank you Subway suits gods.  I knew you would come back to me.