Spanky’s rules for playing CUES

Ok, goddamnit, I’m taking it upon myself to set this shit in stone. I’m the CUESMASTER of Iowa and I won’t hear otherwise (as I have logged many more hours than Taguchi has. But don’t get me wrong, Taguchi is a CUESMASTER).

The name of the game is CUES (pronounced “Kooss”).

WARNING: NOT ALL OF RULES WILL BE POSTED HERE. YOUR LOCAL CUESMASTER WILL INFORM YOU OF RULES AS YOUR GAME PROCEEDS. AN ETHICAL CUESMASTER WILL NOT CREATE AD HOC RULES FOR THE GAME, HOWEVER, DO NOT ASSUME THAT, BECAUSE YOU ARE LEARNING THE RULES AS YOU GO, THE RULES ARE BEING FABRICATED. KEEP IN MIND THAT THERE ARE HOLES IN THE RULES, AND THE CUESMASTER MAY BE REQUIRED TO PASS JUDGMENT.

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THIS GUIDE IS INTENDED TO BE A QUICK-PRINT REFERENCE SHEET FOR CUES GAMES AS THEY ARISE, AND MAY BE USEFUL IN RESOLVING DISPUTES.
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Materials needed: dice, a moose cup from Hardee’s (a bigass, opaque, plastic cup), several tumblers, Keystone Light.

Rule 1: CUES is a game of speed.

You may not pour your own thirds.

Thirds must be slammed, CUESES must be consumed in one round.

The head on the beer must not be taller than a pinky finger, or the pourer drinks it.

Anytime the dice are visible to everyone, the dice are FRESH, and the person with the dice rolls again.
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21: CUES. The only thing that will get you out of a CUES is a special or another CUES. CUESES can multiply, e.g., “There are two CUESES on the table.” You do not show the special when it is off a CUES.
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SPECIALS: You must show the special before you perform the action, except as specified above in the “CUES” section.

31: social (not a standard social–pick someone to drink a third)
32: dexterity

41: noses

42: reversal

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43: Hogshead (person opposite the roller drinks. With an odd number of players pick one of the two opposite). HOGSHEAD IS NOT A SPECIAL.

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Doubles (and their names):

1: “schnoops”

2: “nads”

3: “lines”
4. “windows”

5. “schnoops and a window”

6. “boxcars”

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Normal rolls:

53 (“minimum”), 54, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65

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51,52 = Jackshit. Lie like a mofo.
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Key rules not explained here: Sloppy Dice, Sloppy Knowledge, Sloppy Belligerence, Leaving the Table, Meniscus, Dehydration

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