Spanky’s metal review: Black Tide

Listen to the three goddamned songs at this website.

Apparently these dude are fifteen, and they’re from Miami, and they already have a record deal from Interscope.


Maybe I’m old. Maybe I’m jaded. Maybe I’m jealous. But maaaaaaybe I have some metal-wisdom.

Listen up, fuckers. Black Tide is nothing new. At all. They are Metallica (the Master-of-Puppets version), Slayer, a dash of Dave Mustaine, and Skid Row all rolled up into one.

Frankly, I think that Snake (of Skid Row) should kick some of their asses for ripping off his shit.

I don’t really have much to say, other than that this band is merely a record label’s cheap gimmick. All the guitar shit, all the drum shit, and all the lyrics, such as “Warriors of time,” are all 80s throwbacks.

Hell yes, I said it. 1. Those BOYS ain’t gonna read this review 2. They ain’t gonna care, even if they did.

I could listen to some little punks recreate some shit to which I listened while growing up. I’d rather just get out my old shit, hear the real deal, and rock out to Tommy Lee dropping fat syncopated swishes on “Dr. Feelgood.”

-MC Spanky McGee………. over and out

“Less-educated white voters”

In an interview with MSNBC’s Chris Matthews, McAuliffe referred to surveys of voters as they left their polling places which showed Clinton running most strongly among less-educated white voters, among whom she won nearly 75 percent support. “

Sure! Brag about that shit. “Less-educated” voters. Ha! Laughable.

Can you see Hillary up there, saying: “I have the support of less-educated voters”?

Yo, HILL: keep ‘em. I don’t want them. Is it really all that surprising that people who presumably have weaker critical reasoning and reading skills would buy into the kind of bullshit that Hillary peddles on a daily basis?

Not to this dude. Don’t I sound elitist? You bet your sweet ass I do. I think vast amounts of Americans should be much better educated than they are.

-MC Spanky McGee

P.S. Tell them to “Get busy! Go to school!”

Vince Young Drunk and Topless at Sausage Fest

Vince Young Topless

There are pictures of Tennessee Titan quarterback Vince Young topless at a club getting drunk with mostly other topless dudes around.  I have no problem with a professional football player, an NFL star even, getting drunk and partying with his boys (ie: Cedric Benson & Vikings Boat Trip).  It gets a little weird when the dudes are indoors and start taking off their shirts with no few women around.  The story is chuckle worthy at best if you read… nothing to see here people, move along.

Party on Vince.

Church of Jedi in Britain attacked by Vader. Kinda.

Here’s the video. Much lamer than imagined:

[youtube width="425" height="355"][/youtube]

A man who dressed up as Darth Vader, wearing a garbage bag for a cape, and assaulted the founders of a group calling itself the Jedi church was given a suspended sentence Tuesday.

Arwel Wynne Hughes, 27, attacked Jedi church founder Barney Jones — aka Master Jonba Hehol — with a metal crutch, hitting him on the head, prosecutors told Holyhead Magistrates’ Court. “

“Darth Vader! Jedis!” Hughes shouted as he approached.

Hughes claimed he couldn’t remember the incident, having drunk the better part of a 2 1/2-gallon box of wine beforehand. “

I am simply flabbergasted.

Man, I used to love Star Wars, but, as usual, the goddamned lunatics have taken a thing too far and have turned a good thing into a nightmare.

One more thing: fuck reality TV. The best shit in the world is in the news. Dildonics galore.

-MC Spanky McGee

Dave Grohl Open Letter to Metallica

On the site, Dave Grohl wrote an open letter to Metallica:

Dear Metallica, Hey, it’s Dave! Remember me? Yeah, I’m the guy that’s been listening to your band faithfully since 1983. I bought your first album ‘Kill ‘Em All’ from a mailorder catalogue called Under The Rainbow, I think. Actually I can’t remember. It was 1983 for Christsakes! But that album changed my life and I’ve been listening to your albums ever since (even ‘St Anger’!).

I can’t wait to hear the new sh*t, and no matter what you guys do I’ll always be first one at the shop waiting to hear it. I’m sure you’ll come out and blow everybody’s f**kin’ minds, because you’re f**kin’ METALLICA!

Good luck. And don’t release it until it’s kick-ass.

Yours, Dave Grohl.

P.S. Are you finished recording the drums yet?

My interpretation: Metallica used to rock. St. Anger sucked. If at any point you realize the product is going to (again) stain your legacy with another disaster, don’t release it. PS–Lars used to rock. Now he sucks. Call me.

(none of this is groundbreaking. Spanky said it long ago)

I hope I’m not helping publicize a scam.


Alrighty then…

This may be old to some of you, but in looking for images for the skull bong post, I came across this one:

So, I’m familiar with the whole mac vs. pc ad campaign, but the above didn’t make too much sense. But with a little research, I found this:

[youtube width="325" height="255"][/youtube]

and it makes much more sense now.

3 accused of using corpse head to smoke pot

Here is an article about some guys who were arrested for purportedly turning the decapitated skull of a corpse into a bong and smoking pot out of it:

Jones claimed he and his friends used shovels to dig up the body and removed the corpse’s head with a garden tool, Adkins said. Jones also revealed he and the other two boys took the severed head to the juvenile’s home, where they used the skull as a “bong” to smoke marijuana, the officer said.

What the fuck? What the fuck? Where would the carb be on that thing? And did they make it into a water bong or just a pipe like you can do with an apple or coke can? Is this going to spawn a bunch a copycat dildoes who go out and dig up bodies to smoke some weed?