The rise and fall of “U mad, bro?”

I think it was about a year ago that I first started seeing “You mad bro?” getting used on Xbox Live with any regularity. It has been around for a while–this is true–but it only really blew up recently. Its bastard little brother, “Cool story, bro” has now achieved the same status.

“U mad bro?” is now everywhere: gamertags, clan tags (“UMAD”), and on t-shirts and hoodies. Take a look at this numbnuts, | Mr Nyce | , who’s posing on Facebook in his “Cool story, bro” hoodie:

Timmy Nyce

| Mr Nyce | in his "Cool story bro" hoodie.

“U mad bro?” is effective partly because there are so many gamers who really are mad. But it’s also because ”U mad bro?” is so easy to remember. After all, why bother putting time and effort into a really clever and biting insult when you can just pop out a “U mad bro?”

However, “U mad bro?” has taken a turn for the worse. I’ve run into dolts that toss a “U mad bro?” when they lost the game. You’d think that “U mad bro?” is reserved for winners only. Not so, anymore, my fine gaming friends. Now any loser can use it. Did you just go 4 and 13 on Countdown in Halo: Reach? Is your KDR on Black Ops .83? Did you blow what would’ve been the winning snipe shot? Just remember, when the other team sends you a message ripping on your miserable failure, just poop out a “U mad bro?”, even if it makes no fucking sense to do so. That would be kinda like this:

u mad bro

In other words, “U mad bro?” has overstayed its welcome. It’s old. It’s brokedown, just like your DMR.

Oh, I know what some of you are thinking. “U mad about ‘U mad bro?’ bro?” Or you might say, “Only scrubs would hear ”U mad bro?” so often.”

Aren’t you clever? You’re going to meta-bro me? You can jam your attempt to congratulate yourself on our blog right up your ass. 1. We’ve never heard of you, bro, so don’t act like you’re good. (You’re gonna sign in under a pseudonym, anyway, you pussy.) 2. You know that “U mad bro?” has been watered down into absolute donkeypiss, and 3. You are now part of the problem, not the solution.

So am I mad? Yeah–I’m not thrilled that so many gamers have become so stupid that they cannot even use “U mad bro?” in the correct context. This is an indication that the quality of shittalk has gone down–not up. And that should piss off any self-respecting thinking gamer.

Das Burrito Doctor has spoken.

 

 

Kid takes airbag to crotch

Ballsy Kid Agrees to Airbag Explosion Under Nuts
This video accomplished two positive things: 1) It made me laugh and 2) it ensured this kid will not be reproducing ever.

That airbag is moving. Fast. Look, it’s one thing to be a jackass, and another thing to put your nuts on the line. I suspect this kid had prior brain damage.

New Metallica album named “Death Magnetic”

Metallica names new album

What? Have they gone indie-rock? What kind of title is that?

The only good news that I gleaned from the article is this:

“Death Magnetic” (Warner Bros.) was produced by Rick Rubin

If anyone can save Metallica from themselves, it’s Rick Rubin. You sure as shit know that Bob Rock can’t do it, since he is heavily responsible for the murder of Lars Ulrich and the subsequent replacement of him with a rather-inferior lookalike drummer. At any rate, Bob Rock produced “St. Anger,” and we know what a hot pile of shit that that was.

I hope Newsted is wearing aviators somewhere, lounging around in an “And Justice For All” t-shirt, shaking his head–BUT luxuriating in the truth that he wisely quit that band….

-MC Spanky McGee

Imagine that. Kanye acts like a jackass again.

Bonnaroo crowd tells Kanye West he sucks

West had been scheduled to take the main stage at the Bonnaroo Music & Arts Festival at 2:45 a.m. Sunday morning. While the sleepy thousands in the audience waited, a message on the jumbotrons told them West’s show would be delayed until 3:15 a.m., and when that didn’t happen, that he would start at 3:30. West didn’t hit the stage until 4:25 a.m “

Kanye’s head is so big that he jumped up in the air and got stuck.

Whether he’s telling lies at Lollapalooza or being late at Bonnaroo, Kanye West has demonstrated that he thinks that he is a god.

Newsflash, Kanye. The crowd isn’t buying it anymore. Frankly, I think this asshole should be sent into obscurity, and his albums should never be bought again.

Kanye doesn’t have one-tenth of the musical ability of Adam Jones.

Act like a professional. The only way to cure these “fevered egos” (thank you, Bill Hicks), is to kick them to the curb. But, of course, what army I am leading? None….

-MC Spanky McGee

Brief review: Russian Circles, live at the Picador, June 3rd, 2008.

I saw Russian Circles last night in Iowa City at the Picador. My bro and an old buddy of his drove out for this show.

http://www.russiancircles.net/
http://www.myspace.com/russiancircles

This was my first encounter with this band, and I was very happy. The drummer, Dave Turncrantz, makes me think of a Dave Grohl-Danny Carey bastard love child. Since I am a drummer, this is the first thing to which I listen in hearing a band.

One thing that I noted was that the guitarist, Mike Sullivan, is very rhythmically-minded, and this gives Turncrantz something to latch on to. When drummers aren’t led by this kind of guitarist, they sound too busy. But the three musicians complement each other quite nicely, and they keep things interesting enough that you don’t even miss a voice. (They’re instrumental. Ballsy–and awesome).

If you’re an old Rush fan like myself, you’ll dig this kind of music.

It’s no wonder that Tool had these guys open on the European leg of the tour.

So, as I’m still unfamiliar with this band (and as I was kinda Drunky McGee last night), you don’t get much from my review other than a general “HELL YEAH!”

Verdict:
$8 = a goddamned bargain for 3 great musicians.

-MC Spanky McGee

Weezer’s “Pork and Beans” video

[youtube width="425" height="355"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=muP9eH2p2PI[/youtube]

Weezer reminds us about how dorky we all are for loving the internet–for being on on it.

Brilliant. It’s a “best-of” video.

And if you don’t recognize many of the clips in this video, you’re a damned Luddite.

The tune isn’t bad. It’s pretty classic Weezer, but that can’t hurt anybody.

-MC Spanky McGee