Kid takes airbag to crotch

Ballsy Kid Agrees to Airbag Explosion Under Nuts
This video accomplished two positive things: 1) It made me laugh and 2) it ensured this kid will not be reproducing ever.

That airbag is moving. Fast. Look, it’s one thing to be a jackass, and another thing to put your nuts on the line. I suspect this kid had prior brain damage.

New Metallica album named “Death Magnetic”

Metallica names new album

What? Have they gone indie-rock? What kind of title is that?

The only good news that I gleaned from the article is this:

“Death Magnetic” (Warner Bros.) was produced by Rick Rubin

If anyone can save Metallica from themselves, it’s Rick Rubin. You sure as shit know that Bob Rock can’t do it, since he is heavily responsible for the murder of Lars Ulrich and the subsequent replacement of him with a rather-inferior lookalike drummer. At any rate, Bob Rock produced “St. Anger,” and we know what a hot pile of shit that that was.

I hope Newsted is wearing aviators somewhere, lounging around in an “And Justice For All” t-shirt, shaking his head–BUT luxuriating in the truth that he wisely quit that band….

-MC Spanky McGee

Soupy Trumpet Blasts from the Web 4-25-08 part 2

Spanky beat me to the punch, so here is a second edition… oops

Here’s another Soupy Trumpet daily-dose of internet finds to enjoy:

Spanky would like to add this video on DoubleViking:
“Something is goin’ on, can I smell yo’ dick?”

Viral Video: Drunk History Vol. 1 – Featuring Michael Cera – Funny Or Die

I just got finished watching the entire HBO John Adams series over the weekend so you could say I am on an American history kick.  I found a hilarious video called “Drunk History Vol. 1 – Featuring Michael Cera” over at funnyordie.com and had to share it.

The idea is that Mark Gagliardi got drunk and discussed the events surrounding the famous duel between Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr.  The babble that he spewed was reenacted by Superbad’s Michael Cera and Jake Johnson.  It is pretty ridiculous.

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Lollapalooza 2008

Hmmmm. I dunno. The Lolla lineup has some familiar faces, and then there are all the indie bands that ol’ Spanky here doesn’t really give a shit about. (They all sound so bland to me. And usually kind of whiny. And the same. Blah.)

So, below, I’ve bolded the bands I know, and I’ve added some commentary. Hopefully some other jokers from this site will throw in their opinions.

Radiohead–I haven’t seen them live. I like em’, and I bet it’s going to be awesome at Lolla.

Rage Against the Machine–Hell yes. But I’m skeptical. I wonder whether they can hold it together.


Nine Inch Nails–
Bro Taguchi and I saw them in Des Moines two years ago, and the show was top-notch. The lighting was fantastic.

Kanye West–Is he going to blame the sound crew again for his shitty performance? How many lies will he tell on stage?

Wilco–blah.
The Raconteurs–
Ask Taguchi. I dunno. I like Jack White. Kinda.
Louis XIV
Love and Rockets
Gnarls Barkley–Sugary. Fun. Nut much substance. Perfect for a summer show.
Bloc Party–Dunno.
The Black Keys
Broken Social Scene–Dunno.
Lupe Fiasco
Flogging Molly
Mark Ronson
Cat Power
The National
G. Love & Special Sauce
Sharon Jones & the Dap-Kings
Explosions in the Sky
Brand New
Gogol Bordello
Stephen Malkmus & The Jicks
Dierks Bentley
Okkervil River
Amadou & Mariam
Blues Traveler–Sweet. This is old school, and those guys are tight. Watch the drummer for some very tasteful grooves and licks.

John Butler Trio
Girl Talk
Your Vegas
CSS
Eli “Paperboy” Reed & the True Loves
Battles
Steel Train
Jamie Lidell
Bang Camaro
Butch Walker
The Blakes
Mates of State
Tally Hall
Spank Rock
White Lies
Brazilian Girls
Magic Wands
Chromeo
Electric Touch
Duffy
Innerpartysystem
The Kills
The Postelles
Rogue Wave
The Parlor Mob
The Go! Team–Dear God. This band is the happiest band ever. Happier than your show choir. I need a dose of death metal after even thinking about this band.

Bald Eagle
Mason Jennings
Krista
The Gutter Twins
Ha Ha Tonka
Yeasayer
Witchcraft
Grizzly Bear
We Go To 11
MGMT
Sofia Talvik
The Weakerthans
Booka Shade
Santogold
Black Kids
Black Lips
Dr. Dog
Nicole Atkins & the Sea
The Ting Tings
Kid Sister
Office
The Cool Kids
What Made Milwaukee Famous
Does It Offend You, Yeah?
The Whigs
Manchester Orchestra
Foals
Uffie
The Octopus Project
Cadence Weapon
Ferras
De Novo Dahl
Noah and the Whale
Margot & the Nuclear So and So’s
K’NAAN
Serena Ryder
Newton Faulkner

Ah! So many clever, hip, trendy names. I wonder whether the fans of many of these bands will dump them for playing so large a venue. (Hell, I’ve known these snobby indie music types that will hate a band just because the band likes itself. “Too many people like that band.” Oh, piss off, snobby-indie boy.

More on this topic to follow.

-MC Spanky McGee

Hillary Clinton is Rocky Balboa?

Hillary Clinton as Rocky Balboa

Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton says she is like Sylvester Stallone’s HGH enhanced geriatric famous movie boxer, Rocky Balboa. She means she never quits… even when maybe she should. Her opponent in this fight, Barack Obama is far more like Ivan Drago or Mason “The Line” Dixon (aka Antonio “Magic Man” Tarver) than he is Tommy Gunn.

We get it, Senator Hillary Clinton embodies the American “never say die” spirit. We appreciate it. I think most of us even like her for it, and like her in general (even like the idea of Hillary basing her entire future on some bowling). That being said, that Rocky quip is certainly worth a photoshop.

Morgan Spurlock about to strike again…

After shoving his gullet full of fast food in Super Size Me, Morgan Spurlock is back with his latest comedic documentary, Where in the World is Osama Bin Laden?

[youtube width="425" height="355"]http://youtube.com/watch?v=cjxXX70_R0A&feature=related[/youtube]

Now, despite (apparently false) rumours that Spurlock actually found OBL, the film does look interesting and could raise some important questions about what the U.S. and other countries are actually doing to look for this guy. In fact, when was the last time you heard any of the presidential candidates talk about how they plan to find OBL, and what they intend to do with him? I remember something from a couple of months back, but these days when you do a Google search on “presidential candidates osama bin laden,” the majority of sites that pop up are about gaffs and slip-ups, in which some news network, presidential candidate, or other dumbass has mixed up ‘Osama’ with ‘Obama.’ While I don’t think, the bin Laden issue is the issue to run on, it is supposed to be one of the U.S.’s top priorities, and Griff for one ain’t heard Scheiß about it recently.

Of course, the real question is whether or not Rockapella will do the theme song…