Cool shit:

I’d like to invest in this machine. $$$$

-MC Spanky McGee

I’m not sure how recent this is, but it’s pretty fuckin’ awesome.  It gets good around .40:

This is for Spanky and Pumpkin (and I imagine a shitload of others).

The full story is here:

LIBERTY CITY—With the city in the midst of a record crime wave, concerned citizens claim the Liberty City Police Department has done little to prevent the constant car chases, ongoing gun battles, and overall atmosphere of violence that pervade the area.

“I used to feel safe in Liberty City, but lately, it’s been total mayhem,” said night-shift worker Lola Del Rio, who spoke to reporters while sucking nervously on a red lollipop. “In the past week alone, I’ve been carjacked twice, run over 10 times, and witness to a half-dozen gunfights that ended with automobiles exploding. What are the police doing to stop all this?”

[...] one LCPD official, who wished to remain anonymous, blamed the recent crime wave on the police department’s lack of proper equipment.

“We are only equipped to pursue a suspect within a small radius on a very basic half-centimeter radar screen,” the officer said. “If we were allowed to seek criminals who escaped this radius for more than 15 seconds, our results would improve dramatically.”

“And to those who say the LCPD is too quick to resort to deadly force, remember that almost 850,000 police officers, FIB agents, and N.O.O.S.E. [National Office of Security Enforcement] team members have died in the line of duty in the past month,” he added.

Ok, granted, this is a little bit outdated. The Writers’ Strike is over, and everyone’s happy now that “So You Think You Can Dance” is on. However, there is some gold in this mock-debate-style panel discussion in Congress (at which actual congress-persons were present). “Representing” the WGA, we have writers from The Daily Show, and on the side of the AMPTP we have writers from The Colbert Report. In addition to a smug philosophy-major-turned-writer and a parody of Code Pink protesters, there is some interesting commentary on the internet, a charge that the writers “think they’re better than Jesus,” and a discussion of “nothing-adjacence.” Enjoy:

You can find an article about the debate here.

So Clinton stepped in it (or put it in her mouth) once again. Here is a pretty good commentary from Olbermann:

And there’s a nice collection of stuff on this over at the Huffington Post.

At 0:45 I almost lost it. The look on Luke’s face is priceless. And it just gets better from there:

Thanks to SJ for sending this to me.

This is one of the coolest videos I’ve seen in a while. It appears that the creator(s) of this video did all the graffiti themselves. It must have taken forever, but the end product is cash. The music is pretty cool too. I would advise not watching it under the influence of hardcore mind-altering substances. (Just a guess.) Then again, for those of you who really like the trippy stuff, rock it out:

Link.

I just found this site and felt I had to share: Pee Your Pants For The Brewers. Nearly 7000 Brewers fans have pledged to piss their pants if and when the Crew should ever make the playoffs. I realize that this is kind of gross, but I’m pretty sure that if the Brewers ever do clinch a playoff spot, I will do a number 1 (and likely a number 2) in my Lederhosen, regardless of any pledge, so I might as well get on board. And with all the PBR and MGD flowing at Miller Park, Derry’s Pub, and elsewhere Brewers fans are to be found, I’m pretty sure most Milwaukee fans are ipso facto on board.

The site is a great trip down memory lane for Brewers fans like myself. (Not just because we started going to County Stadium before being fully potty trained.) Pledgers list their favorite Brewers, and you see some great and obscure blasts from the past, including: Rob Deer (my old favorite), John Jaha, Mike Fetters, Ricky Bones, Pat Listach, Chuck Crim, Greg Brock, and Billy Jo Robidoux…among others.

Make sure to also check out the Methods page. One of my favorites is the “Borrow a Baby” strategy:  Find a baby to borrow.  While holding said baby pee your pants and then yell out “Oh he got me. The little bugger got me good. Who’s child is this?!”  Bonus points if you can get the parent to buy you a “sorry my kid peed on you” beer.

Of course, it doesn’t look like Griff will be peeing her pants any time soon. (The Brewers just fell behind the Pirates in a tie for last in the NL Central, and Carlos Villanueva just walked in a run. My pants have never been drier.) But in the meantime, she can at least train (except her training will be with a PBR in hand):