LIBERTY CITYâ€”With the city in the midst of a record crime wave, concerned citizens claim the Liberty City Police Department has done little to prevent the constant car chases, ongoing gun battles, and overall atmosphere of violence that pervade the area.
“I used to feel safe in Liberty City, but lately, it’s been total mayhem,” said night-shift worker Lola Del Rio, who spoke to reporters while sucking nervously on a red lollipop. “In the past week alone, I’ve been carjacked twice, run over 10 times, and witness to a half-dozen gunfights that ended with automobiles exploding. What are the police doing to stop all this?”
[...] one LCPD official, who wished to remain anonymous, blamed the recent crime wave on the police department’s lack of proper equipment.
“We are only equipped to pursue a suspect within a small radius on a very basic half-centimeter radar screen,” the officer said. “If we were allowed to seek criminals who escaped this radius for more than 15 seconds, our results would improve dramatically.”
“And to those who say the LCPD is too quick to resort to deadly force, remember that almost 850,000 police officers, FIB agents, and N.O.O.S.E. [National Office of Security Enforcement] team members have died in the line of duty in the past month,” he added.
Ok, granted, this is a little bit outdated. The Writers’ Strike is over, and everyone’s happy now that “So You Think You Can Dance” is on. However, there is some gold in this mock-debate-style panel discussion in Congress (at which actual congress-persons were present). “Representing” the WGA, we have writers from The Daily Show, and on the side of the AMPTP we have writers from The Colbert Report. In addition to a smug philosophy-major-turned-writer and a parody of Code Pink protesters, there is some interesting commentary on the internet, a charge that the writers “think they’re better than Jesus,” and a discussion of “nothing-adjacence.” Enjoy:
This is one of the coolest videos I’ve seen in a while. It appears that the creator(s) of this video did all the graffiti themselves. It must have taken forever, but the end product is cash. The music is pretty cool too.Â I would advise notÂ watching it under the influence of hardcore mind-altering substances. (Just a guess.) Then again, for those of you who really like the trippy stuff, rock it out: