Soupy Trumpet Blasts from the Web 2-24-08

Here’s another Soupy Trumpet daily-dose of internet finds to enjoy:

Soupy Trumpet Blasts from the Web 2-23-08

Here’s another Soupy Trumpet daily-dose of internet finds to enjoy:

Shoot ‘em with the big guns, NASA!

NASA has identified a “secret spy satellite” that has failed and must be shot down before plummeting to planet Erf. About the time this entry posts to the Trumpet, NASA will be pulling an Old Yeller and launching air defense missiles to destroy the plummeting satellite. I suggest using the firepower of this FULLY AAHHMED AND OPEREETIONAL BATTLE STEETION (yet another nails on the chalkboard moment for Spanky)…or just use one of these (which always worked for G.I. Joe):


Here’s a nugget regarding this virus with shoes known as the human race. We have reached the point where we now send machines into outer space to orbit the Erf and spill down the pure bliss of DirecTV and GPS devices that tell you where the fish are in the lake…then if they get messed up we can just shoot a missile up there to blow that machine to bits…so as to prevent the “satellite falling on peoples’ heads” thing from happening. We’ve actually been doing this for about 20 years. And the best part about it? Common folk like you and me have NO IDEA what is going on here. This is a “secret spy satellite,” so you never knew it was up there in the first place. It’s that far over your head…pun intened. Price tag? $60 million…yet another item that you’re better off not worry about. Go buy yourself a #6 and try not to think about it too much.


Update: Reports are in that we shot down the spy satellite.

quick headlines at our fav blogs 2/18/2008

Last French Fry Told To ‘Get Your Ass Over Here’

Oh, Onion. This joke is a heartbreaker. It was going so well, and then you had to fuck it up.

Students fight back against gossip site

The Cornell University junior was in his dorm between classes when the text message came in from a friend. Check out, it said. The student found his name on the Web site beside a rambling, filthy passage about his sexual exploits, posted by an anonymous student on campus. The young man could only hope the commentary was so ridiculous nobody would believe it.”

Hmmmm….. what’s a good strategy how to strike back against these people out to ruin your name? Maybe you can just flood the site with so much bullshit that no one will know what’s true from false? The readers might think that the post about you is so absurd that there’s no way you could have done said things…. I’d love to see suggestions in the comments.
DIY Magnetic Doorstop Laptop Stand

This is a great idea. Too many people’s laptops get too hot because they don’t get enough air.

No Sound In Flash Videos When Using Firefox Solutions

I recently started having issues with sound on flash multimedia files on the internet while using one of my pc systems. I had just recently updated my Adobe Flash Player 9 files and assumed that was part of, if not all of the problem. I was also able to pinpoint MY problem to Firefox and not Internet Explorer 7.

I turned to Google and found that this problem is relatively widespread and found some possible solutions for the problem. I was able to fix my particular situation in the matter of a few minutes. There is a thread on in their forum that offers four possible solutions from user beezlebob666. The first involves replacing the Wavemapper driver that may have been lost or damaged in the installation or upgrade of the flash files. I checked to make sure mine was there and it was, had it not been there (and this was the problem), this particular fix takes only seconds. I would recommend backing up your registry before making any changes to it.

The second solution actually fixed my problem. Somehow I had damaged flash content on my system and this solution suggested downloading the CCleaner program (it is free) and removing cached flash content. I already had the program and all I did was set it (by checking boxes) to only scan for flash files and then deleting them once they were found. I restarted firefox and now I can hear my YouTube Viral Videos again.

The third fix is to replace your possibly missing or outdated codec. The easiest way to describe a codec is like this: your audio and video files are shrunk down to be sent quickly across the internet and you need the files to be un-shrunk to view or listen to them. To do this, you have to have a matching compressor and de-compressor. This fix is getting you the tool you need to de-compress these files. They suggest downloading and installing the K-Lite codec pack that too is free and simple to install.

The final fix is to essentially give up and revert back to the then Macromedia Flash Player 7 until you are able to figure out a way to make the latest flash player work for you. Some sites will not work for you as they require the use of the latest flash player, but then again some will and you may be willing to gain some working sites rather than none. Be sure to turn off automatic updating as this player will continually try to get the latest player.

OIL ON TITAN? SWEET! updated for the modern human.

(Post updated 2/14/2008)

Heh. I commented on Titan’s oil back in November of 2006 (that post is below), and now the news is saying:

Saturn’s orange moon Titan has hundreds of times more liquid hydrocarbons than all the known oil and natural gas reserves on Earth, according to new Cassini data. The hydrocarbons rain from the sky, collecting in vast deposits that form lakes and dunes.

(See also

Ok, ok. This is very good news for us. Kinda. It depends on what we mean by the word, “us.” Here’s what I’m thinking.

  1. Someday the sun is going to go supernova and engulf the Earth. Fact.
  2. That means that we are going to want to pack up our Taco Bells and get the hell out of here. Thus, the Grand Planetary Hop.
  3. However, (and this is the juicy fun part) not everyone will “qualify” for the GHP. In other words, when the sun swallows Mercury and the Earf heats up, not everybody is going on the rocketship. “This is ground control to Major Tom…. it’s getting very waaaaarm….
  4. Solution? Lottery. “Free” markets. In other words, ya better start a trust fund for your temporally-distant relatives. Don’t say that MC Spanky McGee never got anything right.
  5. Ok, so you’re gonna need tons o’ cash to go. You hit the moon, Mars, and then you’re off to Titan to load up on some sweet rocket fuel. Brrrr.
  6. Have fun getting your ass to Proxima Centauri. “Gonna make it… gonna make it…. not gonna make it”

By the way, if you’re left behind when the supernova is about to occur, I know it’s going to suck. Total chaos. Total anarchy. Sorry we didn’t have the foresight, will, or ability to do ya better.
Peace out.
-MC Spanky McGee

So I’m reading the December 2006 issue of National Geographic last night, la la-la, checking out these kickass pictures of Saturn (I’m a dork. So what?), kinda reading the article about the Cassini and Huygens probes, when I hit page 54. At the top of the page in bigass letters, it quoted Hunter Waite, from the Southwest Research Institute:“THERE’S A LAYER OF FROZEN HYDROCARBONS, SIMILAR TO GASOLINE, COVERING MUCH OF THE MOON [TITAN]. IF YOU COULD MINE TITAN, YOU’D NEVER HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT OIL SHORTAGES.”-Sweet! This is going to rock. You can drive 95 after all! We will send a freakin’ huge rocket to Titan, which will take 7 years. We’ll load up on oil, and then we’ll send it back, and wait for 7 more years. Come on, now, don’t wuss out on me. You can wait 14 years for oil so that your ol’ Corvette club can still roll around and listen to Elvis–just for shits and giggles. Of course, this will only please us if we use more oil than we’re getting out of the trip.-
Below: the totally rad moon of Saturn, Titan.


What is extra-sugary is that National Geographic is in the middle of story about these strange objects in our solar system, and one of the things they highlight is how we could plunder that shit for oil. (Man, I hope there are some life forms on Titan that we can screw over. We have the God-given right to any oil in the solar system.) That’s like talking about a quadratic equation in a math book and then telling the reader that you could apply it to some chicken strips. Sure, Grown Pumpkin thinks about chicken strips a lot, but do you really have to torture the lil’ guy when he’s trying to do his math homework? How can I focus on the pretty pretty rings of Saturn when I start daydreaming about going to the gas station?

Too bad I’m not gonna be around for the Grand Planetary Hop. Humans are going to be intergalactic oil pirates some day, and I’d be a freakin’ sweet foot soldier in that shit. I just played 3 hours of Gears of War with Pumpkin on his monstrous plasma screen this last weekend. I’m ready to kick some alien-ass.


Ah, for some reason, I hear Queens of the Stone Age: “GIMME SOME MORE… DEEP FRIED, GIMME SOME MORE!” Now there’s the American motto: “GIMME SOME MORE!”

We soooo rock the house. Beeg time.

News: “Microfiber fabric makes its own electricity?” Spanky brainstorms the possibilities.… 

U.S. scientists have developed a microfiber fabric that generates its own electricity, making enough current to recharge a cell phone or ensure that a small MP3 music player never runs out of power.”

First of all, why is this in “Oddly Enough News”? This is big time, baby.

Second, I can think of a shitload of uses for this technology.

  1. Grown Pumpkin’s Game Boy will never run of out batteries again, so long as he walks to the refrigerator every now and then.
  2. Bro Taguchi can power his Walkman as he’s driving to Culver’s.
  3. Stooge can power his light-up clown nose.
  4. Make lingerie out of this stuff and we can power the entire country.
  5. Finally, your damn cat can be useful:

thunder power cat

-MC Spanky McGee

Rockin’ software: HowLong2It

Tinjaw’s program, HowLong2It, is based on an idea that I posted in the coding snacks forum. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I deserve praise–Tinjaw is the person who rocked it out.

Anyway, I didn’t think that making a text file with notepad was efficient to keep track of important events, and I didn’t like marking events on Outlook. I think you’re more likely to pay attention to the last time you changed your toothbrush if you can see some hard scientific data on how many days it has been. I know you’re not motivated by the fact that your toothbrush’s head is starting to resemble Don King or Afro Ninja‘s dome. You need numbers.

With HowLong2It, you can keep track of the last time you:

  • got laid
  • took a shower
  • ate a McRib sandwich (it’s seasonal)
  • saw Labyrinth
  • read “Reader’s Digest.”
  • listened to “MMMBOP”
  • played River City Ransom
  • changed your oil
  • got a double kill in Halo 3 (it’s been a while for ol’ Spanks here)

You can set up HowLong2It so that it starts up with Windows, and it will run in the tray next to your clock. Left click on its icon to see how many days since or until the occurrence of an event.

HowLong2It 1

Right click on the icon to restore the add/edit/delete menu.

HowLong2It 2

This is an awesome program. The more you use it, the more you will like it.

-MC Spanky McGee

Airport searching your laptop? Don’t get a tear in my beer. It’s called TrueCrypt.

Rodney Dangerfield

(Kickass original drawing….)

Yeah yeah, I know that on your laptop, you have pictures of Teletubbies doing naughty, naughty things. I don’t care that you’re into that kind of porn. Whatever. But if you’re crying about the TSA or U.S. Customs searching your laptop, you are an ignorant fool. reports on the relevant lawsuits here.

It’s called TrueCrypt, bro–a bit of freeware encryption software that rocks da house. On their website, they say:

In case an adversary forces you to reveal your password, TrueCrypt provides and supports two kinds of plausible deniability:

  1. Hidden volumes (for more information, see the section Hidden Volume).
  2. It is impossible to identify a TrueCrypt volume. Until decrypted, a TrueCrypt volume appears to consist of nothing more than random data (it does not contain any kind of “signature”). Therefore, it is impossible to prove that a file, a partition or a device is a TrueCrypt volume or that it has been encrypted. However, note that for system encryption, the first drive cylinder contains the (unencrypted) TrueCrypt Boot Loader, which can be easily identified as such (for more information, see the chapter System Encryption).”

Ya think you have something you don’t want them to see at the airport? You should’ve locked up those files in a TrueCrypt volume. If you find em’ diggin through your shit, don’t come crying to me. I’m busy playing Call of Duty 4, Brobi Wan Kenobi.

-MC Spanky McGee

Bill Gates and Microsoft Bid 44.6 Billion for Yahoo – C.R.E.A.M.

Bill Gates Yahoo CREAM

I have been preaching and preaching about Microsoft stock and the future of this company.  THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING.  Get on it.

Yes I realize that it seems already like a no-brainer and maybe not that prophetic because Bill Gates has already gotten Microsoft to such a high level of success.  It may even sound like telling people to put money on the Bulls back in Michael Jordan’s day.

That being said, today’s news of Microsoft bidding 44.6 Billion dollars to purchase Yahoo is certainly attention worthy.  Add that to the domination of the personal computer market over seems like they are doing better than they are Apple, the domination in the video game console war with the XBox 360, the ungodly numbers Halo 3 put up at launch, the improvement of the Zune portable media player, and most of all the wide reaching – cross-platform Live service that is bringing everything together.

Microsoft is working on making our lives as simple and connected as possible.  I will give more on this later, but I assure you the news today is huge…Yahoo wasn’t even put up for sale and today Yahoo’s stock went up 45%.  Wouldn’t you have loved that tip yesterday – or is that another MJ and the Bulls situation?

ps.  Check out Wu-Tang Clan’s “Cash Rules Everything Around Me” or “C.R.E.A.M. and you will see why Bill Gates is a baller (even after stepping down).