Dildonic

So, I was out at the bar last night, and the Cardinals won the damn World Series. That’s cool, bro–whatever. The main benefit to me is that Bro Taguchi will be in a better mood for a while. Maybe he’ll simmer down a bit. He’s been all wound up for a month or so. But I digress. Right after the Cards won, some douchebags in the bar yelled out “CUBS! GO CUBBIES!” I made a face like someone just called me a Republican.
That’s pathetic. It looks to me like the Cubbies were in last place in the National League Central. If I were a Cubs fan, I’d keep my damn mouth shut at this point. Shit, I might even show a little respect.

Keep in mind that I don’t even really care about besoboru. As my homeboy Shawn says, “It ok.” (sic). Thus I can objectively say that those Cubs fans were total douches. They might as well have said, “HEEEEEEEYYYYYY, our team fucking blows, and you should whap us in the nuts with a Louisville Slugger!”

I’ll let you in on a secret: I have a Cardinals hat, and it’s mostly a red hat to me. Most of the time Cards fans see it and say “Go Cards!” and I’m like, “Sure, bro.” But, I did buy a new one after my old Cards hat died. And I did it just because Cubs fans are annoying. The next Cubs fan that rips off my hat from my head is going to have big problems with me.

If Cubs fans keep on being the dildos they’ve been, I might commit to being a full-out Cards fan, just to spite them.

And I don’t even care about baseball.

This entry was posted in Random Lashing Out, Sports and tagged , by MC_Spanky_ McGee. Bookmark the permalink.

About MC_Spanky_ McGee

Spanky really likes Wendy's #6, and does not buy the so-called purist's prohibition against adding onions or pepperjack to Spicy Chicken. Spanks also rocks out El Burrito Loco in DeKalb, IL. Winners: Arby's, Taco Bell, and Burger King. Losers: Taco John's and people who don't cuss. Slappy is a firm believer in evolution, loves his iPod, and does not like the Republican Party. Slappy also likes double-bass-driven metal (Tool, Lamb of God, etc), funk, classic rock, but also likes classical and pop music.

4 thoughts on “Dildonic

  1. Dear Iowa City:

    Keep up that noble grind known as “We just-uh (sniff)…we really hope we can finish 3rd in the Big Ten.” I wish you the best. Joey Knish would be proud. I’d like to point out that your whole pathetic world has now come down to Nov. 11 against Wisconsin. If the birdies come up short, they might find themselves playing in Detroit. That would be sweet.

    At the same time, don’ be wurrred about what I be doin’. You all may now refer to me as “the White Wizard.”

    It is pronounced “ko-nee-chee-wa.”

  2. Taguchi is now like that kid on the seventh-grade basketball team who made the game-winning shot in the city tournament and became too cool to ride bikes with his old posse.

    “Hey Ricky, nice shot in the city tourney.”
    “Hey Bobby, I’m kinda busy. Nice Huffy.”

  3. Huh. Just like those ignorant Yankee fans and the imbecilic Raider (Gayder) fans. Their teams suck or suck it up in crunch time, and then they act like they won the whole fuckin thing.

    douche awards all around!

  4. Pingback: Soupy Trumpet » Blog Archive » My Man Crush…surprised?

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