I’d like to invest in this machine. $$$$

-MC Spanky McGee

The pastor of a Kentucky church that handles snakes in religious rites was among 10 people arrested by wildlife officers in a crackdown on the venomous snake trade.

More than 100 snakes, many of them deadly, were confiscated in the undercover sting after Thursday’s arrests, said Col. Bob Milligan, director of law enforcement for Kentucky Fish and Wildlife.

Most were taken from the Middlesboro home of Gregory James Coots, including 42 copperheads, 11 timber rattlesnakes, three cottonmouth water moccasins, a western diamondback rattlesnake, two cobras and a puff adder.

Handling snakes is practiced in a handful of fundamentalist churches across Appalachia, based on the interpretation of Bible verses saying true believers can take up serpents without being harmed.

I feel a strong urge to recommend that all Christian nutjobs should go pick up some puff adders, but I will resist that urge.

Let’s think a little bit here. Aren’t there other ways to tell whether someone really believes in Baby Jesus?

Surely there are. I doubt the snake handling is the only litmus test.

And what is it with Christians and snakes anyway? That’s just so Ozzy of them.

-MC Spanky McGee

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTyzTJTNhNk

Huckabee suggested questions about whether he might join McCain on the ticket were premature. “You can’t accept an invitation to the prom until the football captain asks you. So I’m not going to go out and buy the outfit just yet,” said Huckabee, according to AFP. “

Weird. Just weird. With all of our connotations about prom and the football captain, I’ll tell you what this sounds like to me. McCain is the football captain and Huckabee is the little sophomore girl in a dress.

What happens at the post-prom party?

BOO.

-MC Spanky McGee

What? Have they gone indie-rock? What kind of title is that?

The only good news that I gleaned from the article is this:

“Death Magnetic” (Warner Bros.) was produced by Rick Rubin “

If anyone can save Metallica from themselves, it’s Rick Rubin. You sure as shit know that Bob Rock can’t do it, since he is heavily responsible for the murder of Lars Ulrich and the subsequent replacement of him with a rather-inferior lookalike drummer. At any rate, Bob Rock produced “St. Anger,” and we know what a hot pile of shit that that was.

I hope Newsted is wearing aviators somewhere, lounging around in an “And Justice For All” t-shirt, shaking his head–BUT luxuriating in the truth that he wisely quit that band….

-MC Spanky McGee

Newly found planets make case for ‘crowded universe’

Lifehacker.com

How to Make Windows Vista Less Annoying

Power User’s Guide to Firefox 3

instructables.com

How to rescue a stinky T-shirt (Coping with str…

sogoodblog.com

Cindy McCain Caught Plagiarizing Recipes AGAIN

gizmodo.com

Dealzmodo: Amazon MP3 Albums For $1.99 (Starting With Coldplay)

There’s no need to multiply. Forget all these hybrids, just use birth control!

Bonus: the fewer workers we have around, the more demand there will be, and the higher our wages will be! Ahhhh, we all win.

“But Spanky, I want my own rugrat!”

ADOPT.

-MC Spanky McGee

West had been scheduled to take the main stage at the Bonnaroo Music & Arts Festival at 2:45 a.m. Sunday morning. While the sleepy thousands in the audience waited, a message on the jumbotrons told them West’s show would be delayed until 3:15 a.m., and when that didn’t happen, that he would start at 3:30. West didn’t hit the stage until 4:25 a.m “

Kanye’s head is so big that he jumped up in the air and got stuck.

Whether he’s telling lies at Lollapalooza or being late at Bonnaroo, Kanye West has demonstrated that he thinks that he is a god.

Newsflash, Kanye. The crowd isn’t buying it anymore. Frankly, I think this asshole should be sent into obscurity, and his albums should never be bought again.

Kanye doesn’t have one-tenth of the musical ability of Adam Jones.

Act like a professional. The only way to cure these “fevered egos” (thank you, Bill Hicks), is to kick them to the curb. But, of course, what army I am leading? None….

-MC Spanky McGee

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yVM8KljypI

-MC Spanky McGee