Griff’s New Favorite Website

I just found this site and felt I had to share: Pee Your Pants For The Brewers. Nearly 7000 Brewers fans have pledged to piss their pants if and when the Crew should ever make the playoffs. I realize that this is kind of gross, but I’m pretty sure that if the Brewers ever do clinch a playoff spot, I will do a number 1 (and likely a number 2) in my Lederhosen, regardless of any pledge, so I might as well get on board. And with all the PBR and MGD flowing at Miller Park, Derry’s Pub, and elsewhere Brewers fans are to be found, I’m pretty sure most Milwaukee fans are ipso facto on board.

The site is a great trip down memory lane for Brewers fans like myself. (Not just because we started going to County Stadium before being fully potty trained.) Pledgers list their favorite Brewers, and you see some great and obscure blasts from the past, including: Rob Deer (my old favorite), John Jaha, Mike Fetters, Ricky Bones, Pat Listach, Chuck Crim, Greg Brock, and Billy Jo Robidoux…among others.

Make sure to also check out the Methods page. One of my favorites is the “Borrow a Baby” strategy:  Find a baby to borrow.  While holding said baby pee your pants and then yell out “Oh he got me. The little bugger got me good. Who’s child is this?!”  Bonus points if you can get the parent to buy you a “sorry my kid peed on you” beer.

Of course, it doesn’t look like Griff will be peeing her pants any time soon. (The Brewers just fell behind the Pirates in a tie for last in the NL Central, and Carlos Villanueva just walked in a run. My pants have never been drier.) But in the meantime, she can at least train (except her training will be with a PBR in hand):

[youtube width="425" height="355"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UzmsbIfwQhc[/youtube]

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About Pastafari Griff

Pastafari Griff, Queen of Truthiness, is a member of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and is also a theist of a..."different" sort. Her version of ID theory concludes that it is possible that the FSM created the world (which at that time consisted of trees, mountains, and a midget) with his noodly appendage. While definitely NOT a burrito connoisseur, she does enjoy rocking out fried chicken and swine (not necessarily at the same time) on a regular basis. She IS, however, a PBR connoisseur, and for some reason claims that 'PBR' can be used as a verb, which should be performed "ASAP". She, too, is a fan of the Wendy's #6, though she opposes the addition of pepperjack to it (pace Spanky). P-Griff (as she is also known) strongly dislikes many Republican politicians, especially those who use Xianity as a justification for foreign and domestic policy. Of course, she knows for a fact that God is, indeed, on HER side, so it must be the case that everything she says is right. Her mood hinges upon the combined performance of the Iowa Hawkeyes, the Green Bay Packers, and the Milwaukee Brewers. Needless to say, she's a surly bastard much of the time. She legitimately hates the Yankees, but supports the Germans in national soccer. (No, there really isn't any logical connection between those two clauses.) She also still loves Brett Favre, and she hopes the "nice farm" the Packers sent him to is taking good care of him. P-Griff is obsessed with LOST, 24, The Daily Show, and the Colbert Report...in no particular order. She wants to do it with Sawyer, be rescued by and then do it with Jack Bauer, and have babies with both Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert...in no particular order. Of course, since the latter two fantasies are highly unlikely - and impossible to perform at the same time - she'd be happy just to hang with the dudes. P-Griff also enjoys her vices, which are too many to list here. Despite all that, she is a born-again virgin who enjoys listening to Sandi Patti, Nine Inch Nails, and Europop. _ "[She's] a walking contradiction, partly truth and partly fiction, taking every wrong direction on [her] lonely way back home." Additionally, P-Griff is of the opinion that "there's still a lot of wine and lonely girls in this best of all possible worlds." (Thanks Kris and Gottfried!) _ Let us all raise up our hands skyward (in the direction of the immaterial Flying Spaghetti Monster in all his noodly glory) and say boldly... "RA-MEN!!!"

One thought on “Griff’s New Favorite Website

  1. I’m pretty sure that the team will piss their pants plenty for all of you…just like last year.

    Translation: Your pants are safe…at least for this year.

    Exhibit A: Ned “Throw at Pujols with the Season on the Line” Yost

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