Neckin’ at the Ballgame

Two lesbians were making out at the Mariners’ game last week and were asked to stop by an usher.

Certain individuals have not yet caught up. Those people see a gay or lesbian couple and they stare or say something,” said Josh Friedes of Equal Rights Washington. “This is one of the challenges of being gay. Everyday things can become sources of trauma.

Backup, bro. You forgot an important element…they saw a lesbian couple making out. And I challenge the idea that making out is an “everyday thing.” As my ex-girlfriend’s mom used to say, making out in public is tacky. At least make sure you’re in an unoccupied section of the ballpark before you start getting close…like these two (ironically, I believe this is also from a Mariners’ game in the old Kingdome and I can’t believe I’m posting it…link only tho):

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This legendary video is also extremely tacky. But, of course, we love the soft-porn, don’t we?

More importantly, do we really expect to throw gay nookie at the masses and expect them to accept? It’s an advanced concept.

“I was really just shocked,” Guerrero said. “Seattle is so gay-friendly. There was a couple like seven rows ahead making out. We were just showing affection.”

Shocked? Come oooooooooon….Granted, the straight couple making out needs to be smacked upside the head. But gay-friendliness has nothing to do with gay-making-out friendliness. In the words of Jerry Seinfeld, “We’re trying to have a society here!” Gay culture is a slightly nuanced issue for 5-year-olds to handle. Granted, we’re trying to move that society toward accepting ALL people…but a 5-year-old may still ask his mother why a disabled individual is in a wheelchair or why a Muslim is wearing a burqa. And they definitely will ask why those two women are making out two rows ahead. Mommy may not be ready to answer, and that’s Mommy’s own fault. But it’s not that shocking…even in Seattle. When you make a display at the ballgame, like the lesbian fan base of the New York Liberty made it a point to do several years ago, you’re going to cause a stir. If you wanna do that…fine by me. Maybe not fine by others. But you can’t possibly be SOOOOO shocked when someone kindly asks the usher to quash the PDA.

The same goes for drunken behavior at a game and many other unnecessary pasttimes. Nobody needs to buy a ticket to have a mack-session. It’s like I told the Sierra Club, there’s a difference between where we want to be as a society and where we are. You can force-feed if you want, but don’t be surprised by the reactions of those who “have not yet caught up.

Furthermore, I understand that these issues should be brought to the surface, but not under the auspices of victimization. Victimization damages your own cause. What I’m asking you to do is to create advanced responses to un-advanced human reactions.

The best response to the usher’s request? “Sure. We’ll stop kissing if you ask the couple down there to stop kissing.” Then keep kissing til he does it…and don’t be shocked by the backlash. Be prepared to leave the stadium. Don’t tell CNN how shocked you are. None of us are shocked.

(Wow–look at the Gooch walking the tightrope on that one…yes-but, if-but, yes-but)

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