New Metallica album named “Death Magnetic”

Metallica names new album

What? Have they gone indie-rock? What kind of title is that?

The only good news that I gleaned from the article is this:

“Death Magnetic” (Warner Bros.) was produced by Rick Rubin

If anyone can save Metallica from themselves, it’s Rick Rubin. You sure as shit know that Bob Rock can’t do it, since he is heavily responsible for the murder of Lars Ulrich and the subsequent replacement of him with a rather-inferior lookalike drummer. At any rate, Bob Rock produced “St. Anger,” and we know what a hot pile of shit that that was.

I hope Newsted is wearing aviators somewhere, lounging around in an “And Justice For All” t-shirt, shaking his head–BUT luxuriating in the truth that he wisely quit that band….

-MC Spanky McGee

Soupy Trumpet Blasts from the Web 6-17-2008

NEWS

Newly found planets make case for ‘crowded universe’

Lifehacker.com

How to Make Windows Vista Less Annoying

Power User’s Guide to Firefox 3

instructables.com

How to rescue a stinky T-shirt (Coping with str…

sogoodblog.com

Cindy McCain Caught Plagiarizing Recipes AGAIN

gizmodo.com

Dealzmodo: Amazon MP3 Albums For $1.99 (Starting With Coldplay)

Save the Earth. Use birth control.

Here’s a thought. If you really want to curb energy use and to prevent the atmosphere from taking in more greenhouse gases, why not forgo having children? Think of all the energy you have consumed in a lifetime. Then multiply that for each child you would have…. Yep. That’s tons and tons of energy.

There’s no need to multiply. Forget all these hybrids, just use birth control!

Bonus: the fewer workers we have around, the more demand there will be, and the higher our wages will be! Ahhhh, we all win.

“But Spanky, I want my own rugrat!”

ADOPT.

-MC Spanky McGee

Imagine that. Kanye acts like a jackass again.

Bonnaroo crowd tells Kanye West he sucks

West had been scheduled to take the main stage at the Bonnaroo Music & Arts Festival at 2:45 a.m. Sunday morning. While the sleepy thousands in the audience waited, a message on the jumbotrons told them West’s show would be delayed until 3:15 a.m., and when that didn’t happen, that he would start at 3:30. West didn’t hit the stage until 4:25 a.m “

Kanye’s head is so big that he jumped up in the air and got stuck.

Whether he’s telling lies at Lollapalooza or being late at Bonnaroo, Kanye West has demonstrated that he thinks that he is a god.

Newsflash, Kanye. The crowd isn’t buying it anymore. Frankly, I think this asshole should be sent into obscurity, and his albums should never be bought again.

Kanye doesn’t have one-tenth of the musical ability of Adam Jones.

Act like a professional. The only way to cure these “fevered egos” (thank you, Bill Hicks), is to kick them to the curb. But, of course, what army I am leading? None….

-MC Spanky McGee

Conservative crybabies.

Have you ever noticed that conservatives think that they have a monopoly on the word “whine”?

Check it out this example.

What tickles me–what amuses me–is that conservatives spend so much time CRYING about liberals’ whining. And Peter Scweizer gives us a great example in his crying about whining.

Almost nothing pleases me more than a conservative in pain. I don’t care what the source is. I relish it.

Conservatives don’t like to think that they complain, although they do all the time. Listen to the pathetic inflection that accompanies such utterances as “These bleeding-heart liberals….”

See, conservatives cry because they don’t feel obligated to their society. They believe that they deserve all of their money. But the fact of the matter is that they owe their society a great deal–and they must pay taxes towards education and defense. Their own welfare depends on the cohesion of society.

But forget all that. When cons play the “whine” card, just remind them that they are doing their share of bitching.

I love their bitching. I encourage it. It’s an indication of their misery, and I eat it up.

-MC Spanky McGee

P.S. I love you, cons. xoxoxOXXXoo

Endless spiral of waste?

Driving home from one of my jobs today, I saw the trucks and the machines and the rollers working to make sure that we have some good goddamned concrete on which to roll our fossil-fuel burners.

I imagine that this process of repaving a highway takes a shit-ton of energy.

Kickass.

I started to wonder what would happen if we didn’t solve our energy problems and if cars went to shit. Nobody could drive.

The self-inflicted punch to the nuts could be that all the maintenance of the the transportation infrastruture turns out to be a complete fucking waste. No cars = no need for highways. And we got a shitload of highways and we want even more. Who hasn’t wanted her own personal exit ramp?

Imagine all these cars rusting to nothing. Well, that’s what they’re gonna do. And every time I get in my piece of shit that I call a truck, I think about how your goddamned car is going to probably be worthless in 10-15 years. And then I feel better.

Yeah, keep praying for Baby Jesus to make more oil, you idiot. We’re not getting it. And unless you can get some sort of conversion going for our current engines–plus the new technology we so desperately need– these cars will be basically worthless.

If we can’t make personal transportation a part of the long-term, we’re really fucking ourselves right now.

Damnit.

MC Spanky McGee

LET’S GET READY TO RUMBUUUUUUHHLE…

McHale clotheslines Rambis

Before Kevin McHale hit Kurt Rambis, the Lakers were just running across the street whenever they wanted. Now they stop at the corner, push the button, wait for the light, and look both ways.

–Cedric Maxwell

Or put another way:

[youtube width="425" height="355"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7r6vXeOfyQ[/youtube]

(In the 1984 NBA Finals, the Lakers ran the Celtics out of the gym in Game 3.  Larry Bird responded by publicly calling his team “a bunch of wimps” and “sissies.”  Kevin McHale responded by clotheslining Kurt Rambis in the 2nd quarter of Game 4.  Boston won the series in 7 games.  Game 4 is still one of the greatest games in NBA history.  Bird hit a turnaround J with less than a minute left in OT to seal the win)

I’m pumped.  –Gooch