Save the Earth. Use birth control.

Here’s a thought. If you really want to curb energy use and to prevent the atmosphere from taking in more greenhouse gases, why not forgo having children? Think of all the energy you have consumed in a lifetime. Then multiply that for each child you would have…. Yep. That’s tons and tons of energy.

There’s no need to multiply. Forget all these hybrids, just use birth control!

Bonus: the fewer workers we have around, the more demand there will be, and the higher our wages will be! Ahhhh, we all win.

“But Spanky, I want my own rugrat!”


-MC Spanky McGee

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About MC_Spanky_ McGee

Spanky really likes Wendy's #6, and does not buy the so-called purist's prohibition against adding onions or pepperjack to Spicy Chicken. Spanks also rocks out El Burrito Loco in DeKalb, IL. Winners: Arby's, Taco Bell, and Burger King. Losers: Taco John's and people who don't cuss. Slappy is a firm believer in evolution, loves his iPod, and does not like the Republican Party. Slappy also likes double-bass-driven metal (Tool, Lamb of God, etc), funk, classic rock, but also likes classical and pop music.

6 thoughts on “Save the Earth. Use birth control.

  1. Know what else might work? If we just go around getting rid of people that we think are detrimental to the environment…we could just start killing off those pesky polluters. You want to breath and release CO2? Too bad you have to die…I think it could work. OR we could just try some of these things…call me crazy but a less drastic approach could work

  2. I have to agree with MC S. McGee, Salamnstron did straw man Spanky’s comments. While no one, at this point in time, has the right to tell me how many kids I can have, I would argue that people ought to give a bit more thought to how many kids they’re producing. There may be plenty of room for billions of more rugrats, but there is surely a point where the earth can no longer sustain the quality of life that would allow for humans and OTHER ANIMALS to flourish (and I mean flourish in the sense of eudaimonia [look it up-I know I'm an asshole]).

  3. I recently heard a talk given by a fetal surgeon that women who do not want to have children are basically committing “cultural suicide.” Look. I want a rugrat, but not five. And if I want two, I’ll adopt.

    But if I choose not to have kids, I should be celebrated, not denigrated. Three cheers for prophylactics!

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