Dear Atlanta Falcons, Please Don’t Draft Matt Ryan 3rd

Photoshop of Matt Ryan holding a Falcons jersey at the draft

The Atlanta Falcons have the third pick in the 2008 NFL Draft that is being held in New York this weekend. Matt Ryan, the quarterback from Boston College has been tabbed as the most likely candidate to be drafted first among the quarterbacks eligible. Being that the Falcons have Chris “I was selling insurance a couple of years ago” Redman, Joey Harrington (cut then inexplicably re-signed cheaper), and local hero DJ Shockley, it would seem that the Falcons need to address the quarterback position. In fact it is apparent they will draft one, it is just uncertain when that will be.

I am not 100% sold on the fact that Michael Vick is not coming back to the Falcons to play football. I cannot treat the situation like the Cub fans did Kerry Wood and Mark Prior for years – expecting them to come back and be lights out. I did like how Redman played last year and was fond of Shockley before his injury. Harrington is nice enough but tried to give the job away to Byron Leftwich and ultimately Redman on numerous occasions. Him being back on the team is more surprising than Alge Crumpler, Warrick Dunn, DeAngelo Hall, Rod Coleman, and the others not being back on the team. It appears that Shockley will likely be the odd man out when the new QB is picked.

The Falcons need many things and are loaded with picks to get them in this draft. My hope is that they pass on the uncertain Ryan in favor of a defensive player like Glenn Dorsey and grab a quarterback later. There is a chance that Ryan could do a Brady Quinn fall and the Falcons could trade back up to get him then. Any of the second tier QB’s in the draft paired with Dorsey net a bigger gain then Ryan and anyone else in my opinion.

Also quarterback drafting is far from a science. This study (aimed at jabbing at Brett Favre’s replacement Aaron Rodgers) shows the high risks involved with drafting a quarterback in the first round (not to mention the ridiculous costs for players that have yet to touch the field).

Brett Favre Retires Again and His Agent Says He Wasn’t Ready To

Brett Favre in Jean Shorts

Green Bay Packer quarterback Brett Favre is set to retire from the NFL. This time it appears to be for real for now as the future hall of fame quarterback passes the reigns to Aaron Rodgers. Brett Favre has somewhat held the Packers hostage over the last few off-seasons with his indecisiveness as to whether to continue playing or not. Rodgers was drafted as a result of this and subsequently signaled the beginning of the end for “old chuck and pray”.

This past season Favre played like the classic Brett Favre and many felt that there would be at least one more season since he was playing football at an MVP level. Favre made the Pack relevant again this year so the announcement comes as a surprise to many, including some teammates that read the announcement on television. He cited being “mentally tired” as his motive for retirement in a voicemail message to ESPN’s John Clayton (how did Clayton miss one of the BIGGEST calls of his or anyone’s sports journalistic career?).

The story should be that simple and Cheeseheads should take it as it was time for him to go. They should be happy that he didn’t carry this decision into the draft or too deep into the free agency period. After all, this has been a Super Bowl bearing marriage and all good things come to an end. Bus Cook, Favre’s agent, and other league officials are not so sure. Cook says to an extent that Favre feels the Packers did not want him back. There are rumblings that maybe he could be talked into coming back to the Packers or that he may be interested in joining Bill Parcells down in Miami with the Dolphins. Cook said he that Favre wanted to play at least another year.

I for one would take Brett Favre back to the Atlanta Falcons to keep Michael Vick’s seat warm for the year… as long as he vowed to stay clear of the painkillers and if he promised to bring those jean shorts he was wearing when we drafted him back in the day. Randy Moss is back with the Patriots, so we can’t meet that demand. We do however have underground player parking at the Georgia Dome for his truck, so Brett can go to and from the games without talking to a single fan just like in Green Bay. Atlanta is a good fit for him… come on down Brett.

The Packers have set up a breaking news site to follow this news story as it unfolds, or you can just chuckle at an image somebody photoshopped of John Madden and Brett Favre together in a wedding.

Atlanta Falcons Win NFL Draft Coin Toss, Still NO Alge Crumpler

Ric Flair Atlanta Falcons Coin Toss

The NFL offseason is well underway. It has been almost three weeks since the “David Tyree Helmet Catch” placed MVP Eli Manning and the New York Giants as unexpected champions. The Giants beat NFL MVP Tom Brady and the undefeated New England Patriots in the Super Bowl, in a game that Tecmo Bowl and bookies said they would lose. American’s stuffed their faces, recovered from the post-Super Bowl hangover, and promptly shifted their focus to the offseason. It is already scouting combine and Senior Bowl time.

Because of a three-way tie, the draft positions of the Falcons, Kansas City Chiefs, and the Oakland Raiders, had to be determined by a coin toss that was held today. After the coin toss it was determined that the Falcons would pick third, Raiders fourth, and the Chiefs Fifth. Grown Pumpkin let out a Ric Flair “Woo” after reading this news.

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Shenanigans…Pumpkin Style

Pumpkin is hereby officially called out and charged with a severe case of “Atlanta Falcons Rosy Shades”

The franchise is a disaster right now. No denying it. I’m not saying they can’t get it back together. It’s the NFL…anything can happen overnight. But Pumpkin gets indicted for this:

Pumpkin (txt): …we are signing jacksonville d coordinator as atl head coach Mike Smith

Taguchi (txt): You mean Pete Carroll wasn’t so serious about the job? Shocking

Pumpkin (txt): They just went ahead without him…he didn’t make the final cut of 4 coaches anyway

What you meant was: “We built him a cake 2 weeks ago, but we haven’t heard back yet.”

Final cut is an 8th grade basketball team concept. You never saw a kid get all the way to the day of the cuts and say, “Coach, I think I’m just gonna stick with band and Spanish.” Cuts are when the coach has to shoo people away.

It’s a fact that Pete Carroll did not interview for the job. One report said Carroll would turn down the job (before an interview), while another said the Falcons took Carroll off their list. So there’s no telling what happened there.

It’s also a fact that Jason Garrett withdrew from consideration for the job after interviewing twice. In addition, another guy from the Cowboys, Tony Sporano, interviewed with the Falcons but signed with the Dolphins (this article basically tells the whole story). So, of the 8-9ish available coaches whose names were linked to the Falcons job in any way, also including Leslie Frazier, Mike Singletary & Josh McDaniels, 4 of them (Garrett, Sporano, McDaniels and at least arguably Carroll) said some variation of “no thanks.” However, to Pumpkin, the Dirty Birds had cut to a list of 4 and they flat out passed on one of the most attractive candidates. The Falcons have been turned down more times in the past 2 weeks than John Hinckley Jr, but Pumpkin manages to convince himself that he snagged this chick (and not the other way around):

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I can’t say that the hire is a bad hire…in fact, most indications are that it’s a good one. In PumpkinWorld, tho, they got the clear-cut prom queen. The end-of-season race for coaches in the NFL is unpredictable, and it usually depends on who gets knocked out of the playoffs first (if the Jags were still alive then Pumpkin’s #1 would still not be available). And I’ve seen the Dirties hire the “right” coach 2 times in the last 4 years. This hiring process was pretty typical…maybe even longer than most. You got a good coach…and PBJ will never be gourmet. I don’t wanna hear about all the hot chicks you turned down.

Sorry little fella…had to.

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