GTA IV at Midnight – See You All Later

GTA 4 Special Edition with Vaseline

The Grand Theft Auto IV (GTA 4) video game comes out for the Xbox 360 and Playstation 3 tonight at midnight.  I was one of the suckers lucky ones that was able to reserve the special edition versions for the 360 at Best Buy for only $90 (pictured above – Vaseline not included).  I am admittedly happy and yet still sad because I will not see all of you.  I will likely see less of Call of Duty 4, and Halo 3 may not even know me anymore. (here we go again)

I am hoping the Xbox Live service can hang tough this time.  If it does, the game that IGN rated a 10, will be a slam-dunk for the 360 over the PS3 just for the online play.

Spanky ignore your initial thoughts and come to the darkside, make the purchase!

Stallone’s Rambo Kill Count Biggest Yet – Thanks HGH

Rambo

On Friday I saw the new Rambo movie starring and directed by Sylvester Stallone. I bought the Ultimate Rambo DVD Collection at Best Buy and it came with a free ticket to the new theatrical release…so really it cost me about $10-$12 for three DVD’s and a ticket to the new movie… as good as that sounds, I may have been jobbed by still paying that much. Anyway, the movie is super short and Sly looks like a douche his brother Frank at the beginning of the movie with his highwater pants and loose fitting clothing. The plot is extremely blah and unbelievable and the acting is dreadful and cliché. That being said…when I woke up about midway in, Sly was buff and muddy, and killing people like crazy and *poof* I am now transported back to the old-school and am eating Rambo up.

His kills are extremely over the top including blown off limbs, chopped off heads, and torn out throats. I lost track of how many people were killed in the movie after about 3 so I looked it up. Little did I know that Rambo death stats are readily available across the net and I gathered ours from DarkHorizons.com who gathered theirs from other sources (on their page).

236 is the total kill count number of this film… the good guys only had a +10 k/d ratio (Halo Reference) and Rambo accounted for just at 35% of the total kills in the film. There are over 2.5 kills per minute in this film. Ironically Rambo never parlayed any of this straight manliness into any tail in any of the movies. In fact the main woman in the film is married and he appears to not be interested in a the only hot woman in the jungle.

Is the kill count a product of Sly being all ‘jacked up’ on HGH? I don’t know anything about human growth hormone except what Roger Clemens and friends have lied said about it. Chances are you just get huge Rambo man-titty-balls and no real side-effects. Regardless it is notable that athletes are in front of congress, getting in trouble, losing work and such for using H.G.H. but actors can get swoll for movies with no consequence… even endorsing it’s use. Either way I don’t care, I’ll stick with the seasonal McRibs to get big.