Oh, I figured she was a redhead…

Yesterday I commented on how the media is taking the opportunity to use the Eliot Spitzer scandal to plaster the airwaves with “news” about prostitution…because it sells. Today they took it to a whole new level.

CNN.com has placed a photo of Ashley Alexandra Dupre aka “Kristen,” Spitzer’s mistress, on the front page. MSN.com has also run the story ID-ing the call girl. Other responsible news sources have fallen in line: FOXNEWS.com (front page photo), MSNBC.com and all the rest, basically. Bravo, you’ve proven that you’re all much bigger whores than Kristen…or perhaps we the public are the whores…or better yet, maybe this whole thing is a giant whore-gy.

One day they’ve got a photo of his crestfallen wife at the presser, and the next day they’ve run with the photo of this sexy vixen. “Oh, his poor family…somebody write a story on that angle. GET ME A PIC OF THE HOOKER, NOW!” Apparently, Kristen is now the story.

Again, I defer to the legendary Bill Hicks:

I’m tired of this back-slapping ‘Isn’t humanity neat?’ bullshit. We’re a virus with shoes, okay? That’s all we are.

The media outlets have plenty of time to detail Kristen + Eliot sitting in a tree, and I’ve got volumes of Bill Hicks quotes. Watch the virus grow…this should be fun.

Attention Little Girls: DON’T BE A PROSTITUTE!

It took about two seconds for the Today Show to pounce on the Spitzer story. How? This morning they interviewed 2 former prostitutes (there’s also a story on the web). One was the madam at a Hollywood brothel and the other apparently billed her time at $2,000 per hour…now that’s high society.

This fine example of hard-hitting TV journalism shed no light whatsoever on the Spitzer story, but it was a good chance for Meredith Vieira to play the role of brow-beater with these two women. Of course, it was a tap-in birdie for Vieira when one of the ladies indicated that Spitzer should resign because of the duty he owes to his family and to the State of New York. Meredith pounced with, “were you thinking about the families of your clients while you were sleeping with them?” To that, the (former) hooker really had no response. She said her conscience was more at ease when she was servicing unmarried clients. Really? I smell an Emmy.

The critical fact that I left out of the preceding description?…Meredith asked for her opinion as to whether Spitzer should resign. Thanks, Meredith. Gee, f*$#in thanks.

News flash: When you interview a (former) whore for her opinion on a social issue merely because that social issue involves whoring…THEN YOU ARE A WHORE TOO! HELL-O-OOOOO! I’ll defer to our deceased friend Bill Hicks:

Here’s the deal, folks…you do a commercial, you’re off the artistic roll-call forever. End of story. You’re another corporate shill, you’re another whore at the capitalist gang-bang. And if you do a commercial, there’s a price on your head, everything you say is suspect and every word that comes out of your mouth is like a turd falling into my drink.

Well, maybe I just wanted to add some Bill Hicks to my rant, but the point is exactly the same. NBC…you are in the business of prostitution. Stimulus…response. Spitzer ball of fire…hookers are suddenly newsworthy on your network. Would this story have run without the Spitzer story? Of course not. But I am certain that the “news piece” was a boon to NBC’s AM ratings.

It’s as if this prostitution story has been written and kept in the vault for months and NBC was just waiting for the right time to pull it out of the can and paint our TVs with it. Worst part?…NBC didn’t drop in one single nugget about the dangers of selling your yoo-hoo for cash. As an abstract concept, I don’t give a damn about prostitution. If people want to get it that way, so be it. But the facts are undeniably troublesome. Prostitutes are more likely to:

These numbers don’t even touch on the fact that most female prostitutes were subjected to abuse (of a variety of varieties) as children. It’s simply a diseased world, that prostitution stuff. The dangers are self-evident.

I can’t believe that this shit is illegal. Should we outlaw running with scissors…playing with fire…beer before liquor…spreading ashes upwind? OK…I can see why it’s outlawed, but would the game be different if it were legal? The argument has been madeover and over again.


The victims are the prostitutes. The clients OBVIOUSLY don’t care about the consequences. Simple solution…don’t do it. Don’t go anywhere near it. The money isn’t worth it. You hear me children…STAY AWAY!

That’s the best I can do.

Eliot Spitzer announced his resignation today.

Update II: Spitzer penned an editorial criticizing the Bush administration for being soft on predatory lenders a day after Client 9 got some nookie. I hope he still gives ‘em hell…I’ll listen.