Exxon posts record profits…. BULLSHIT! A hose job on you and me.

http://money.cnn.com/2008/02/01/news/companies/exxon_earnings/index.htm?postversion=2008020111

Exxon Mobil made history on Friday by reporting the highest quarterly and annual profits ever for a U.S. company, boosted in large part by soaring crude prices.

Exxon, the world’s largest publicly traded oil company, said fourth-quarter net income rose 14% to $11.66 billion, or $2.13 per share. The company earned $10.25 billion, or $1.76 per share, in the year-ago period.”

How many times have we been told that the cost of gas is due solely to market forces??? How can the price go up so much, placing so much strain on the average American household, yet Exxon posts the highest profit, ever?

I can hear it now: “It’s because the invisible hand is rewarding them. The market rewards successful businesses.”

I got your invisible hand, right here. The article continues:

“Exxon’s record results, which coincide with smaller rival Chevron’s (CVX, Fortune 500) profit jump, are likely to draw fire from consumer rights groups, who contend the oil industry is deliberately restricting supply and profiting on the back of U.S. motorists.”

You bet your sweet ass Exxon is controlling the supply. Newsflash, people: OIL IS FINITE ON EARTH. IT WILL RUN OUT BEFORE ALL THE CHICKEN AND COW FOSSILS WE CREATE CAN TURN INTO MORE.

No, Baby Jesus will not make more. This fact alone shows you that any oil company will have to deliberately ration their product, so that they can continue to make a profit, near and after the end of oil. They’re not stupid.

That’s why they’re so awesome. They’re loading up now, while they can. If you want to make a killing, you go into oil stocks and futures. Cash prizes.

As for me, I’m thinking big. I’m headed to Titan. “That’s when the big bucks start rollin’ in….”

And then we’ll see who the new King is.

By the way, I filled up at the pump this morning…

-Agent Spanky McGee