Spanky is sick of Lucas’s bullshit.

cash cow star wars george lucas

Goddamnit. I grew up on Star Wars, and yes, I can still drop some quotes. But I don’t totally dork it out. I have my XBOX 360 and my computer for dorkin’ it. I hate Star Wars now. I’m soooooooo fucking sick of Lucas just driving it into the ground. Sometimes we’re just so much better off without a sequel: The Matrix, Clerks, etc. and so on. We coulda used our imaginations–if we have any left in our collective consciousness–to figure out what could/should happen next. But noooooooooooo. We get stuck with your shitty dialogue–which I won’t rehash here. (We’ve all been over that.)….

“Star Wars: The Clone Wars,” a new stylized, computer-animated feature film, will open Aug. 15 in theaters and set the stage for a tie-in television series with the same name and mode of artwork that will begin airing as a 30-minute weekly series in the fall on the Cartoon Network and TNT.

I think I’ve said this before, but I’ll say it again. Goddamnit, George. Milk that cow, you ass. But I, for one, am not buying your skim. I’ve got whole milk with Call of Duty 4, and I’m feeling like a strapping young lad.

It’s called quality, not quantity, and you gave up on quality “a long time ago.” Shoulda called it quits with the Ewoks playing paradiddles on the storm trooper helmets.

-MC Spanky McGee

Spanky is gettin’ too old for this shit. He rocked out to “Songs for the Deaf” while cranking out this bitch-fest, and it was awesome.

“Halo 3 teabag montage”: my critique

Ok, I have mixed feelings about this one:

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1. “Master of Puppets” is a nice touch, but it is a bit played out. We saw “Old School,” too, and it was funny in there. Now you’re just recycling.

2. The teabags are out of context. Yeah, you worked over some dudes in your video, but we need more evidence. You’re not a douche that teabags when you’re up by 2 kills, are ya? Are you playing your little brother?

3. 4:25 is too much to dedicate to this little habit of yours. WRAP IT UP, SON!

4. You throw in “Sad But True”? Come on, man. I’m half surprised you didn’t throw in some Drowning Pool. That wouldn’t be too obvious or anything.

5. Aleczz, are you really Lars?

Now this is decent:

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