Eliot Spitzer Song Parody “Client #9″ and Ashley Alexandra Dupre “What We Want”

There has been plenty said already about the Eliot Spitzer Emperor Club VIP sex scandal. For now the “news” has stopped trickling in and the entertainment world is sinking their teeth into it. There is a song parody called “Client #9″ that is a loose version of “Love Potion #9” by The Searchers.

Details about the “Spitzer Girl” known as “Kristen” have surfaced as well. According to Ashley Alexandra Dupre’s MySpace page, her real-life personality (sans prostitution), she is an aspiring singer. Her profile features her pop/r&b song “What We Want”. Her “Top 8″ friends (actually only 5 make the cut) are Whitney Houston, Madonna, Mary J. Blige, Amy Winehouse, and Celine Dion. That lineup has had its share of issues as well.

“Client #9″
[youtube width="425" height="355"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LdcsZZsv80[/youtube]Ashley Alexandra Dupre aka Kristen – “What We Want”
[youtube width="425" height="355"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0LW4nof-Oh4[/youtube]
Bonus mostly Unrelated YouTube Coverage:
If you never saw the above mentioned Celine Dion on Larry King back in 2005 speaking emotionally about helping with Hurricane Katrina, please do so now. Kanye West was probably on to something when he said that “George Bush doesn’t care about black people” and Celine made her thoughts well known as well.  I do have to preface that her message is very much appreciated and heartfelt and quite frankly she may have even come off as inspiring.

…that being said, this has some hilarious lines that are golden.

Nobody can open any roofs? …take a kayak, go into those walls… big guns, what’s that? …they have never touched anything in their lives, let them touch those things for once.

Oh, I figured she was a redhead…

Yesterday I commented on how the media is taking the opportunity to use the Eliot Spitzer scandal to plaster the airwaves with “news” about prostitution…because it sells. Today they took it to a whole new level.

CNN.com has placed a photo of Ashley Alexandra Dupre aka “Kristen,” Spitzer’s mistress, on the front page. MSN.com has also run the story ID-ing the call girl. Other responsible news sources have fallen in line: FOXNEWS.com (front page photo), MSNBC.com and all the rest, basically. Bravo, you’ve proven that you’re all much bigger whores than Kristen…or perhaps we the public are the whores…or better yet, maybe this whole thing is a giant whore-gy.

One day they’ve got a photo of his crestfallen wife at the presser, and the next day they’ve run with the photo of this sexy vixen. “Oh, his poor family…somebody write a story on that angle. GET ME A PIC OF THE HOOKER, NOW!” Apparently, Kristen is now the story.

Again, I defer to the legendary Bill Hicks:

I’m tired of this back-slapping ‘Isn’t humanity neat?’ bullshit. We’re a virus with shoes, okay? That’s all we are.

The media outlets have plenty of time to detail Kristen + Eliot sitting in a tree, and I’ve got volumes of Bill Hicks quotes. Watch the virus grow…this should be fun.

Spitzer resigns as Governor of New York

Eliot Spitzer Noose
‘Deeply sorry’ Spitzer resigns

“I am deeply sorry that I did not live up to what was expected of me,” he said in a brief news conference announcing his intention to resign, effective Monday. “I will try once again outside of politics to serve the common good.”

He added, “Our greatest glory consists not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.”

Eliot, ya messed up. But you’ve done some top-notch work. Hang on to that.

Now, stop being a douchebag, and get your life back on track.

I’ll try to do that, too.

-MC Spanky McGee

Attention Little Girls: DON’T BE A PROSTITUTE!

It took about two seconds for the Today Show to pounce on the Spitzer story. How? This morning they interviewed 2 former prostitutes (there’s also a story on the web). One was the madam at a Hollywood brothel and the other apparently billed her time at $2,000 per hour…now that’s high society.

This fine example of hard-hitting TV journalism shed no light whatsoever on the Spitzer story, but it was a good chance for Meredith Vieira to play the role of brow-beater with these two women. Of course, it was a tap-in birdie for Vieira when one of the ladies indicated that Spitzer should resign because of the duty he owes to his family and to the State of New York. Meredith pounced with, “were you thinking about the families of your clients while you were sleeping with them?” To that, the (former) hooker really had no response. She said her conscience was more at ease when she was servicing unmarried clients. Really? I smell an Emmy.

The critical fact that I left out of the preceding description?…Meredith asked for her opinion as to whether Spitzer should resign. Thanks, Meredith. Gee, f*$#in thanks.

News flash: When you interview a (former) whore for her opinion on a social issue merely because that social issue involves whoring…THEN YOU ARE A WHORE TOO! HELL-O-OOOOO! I’ll defer to our deceased friend Bill Hicks:

Here’s the deal, folks…you do a commercial, you’re off the artistic roll-call forever. End of story. You’re another corporate shill, you’re another whore at the capitalist gang-bang. And if you do a commercial, there’s a price on your head, everything you say is suspect and every word that comes out of your mouth is like a turd falling into my drink.

Well, maybe I just wanted to add some Bill Hicks to my rant, but the point is exactly the same. NBC…you are in the business of prostitution. Stimulus…response. Spitzer ball of fire…hookers are suddenly newsworthy on your network. Would this story have run without the Spitzer story? Of course not. But I am certain that the “news piece” was a boon to NBC’s AM ratings.

It’s as if this prostitution story has been written and kept in the vault for months and NBC was just waiting for the right time to pull it out of the can and paint our TVs with it. Worst part?…NBC didn’t drop in one single nugget about the dangers of selling your yoo-hoo for cash. As an abstract concept, I don’t give a damn about prostitution. If people want to get it that way, so be it. But the facts are undeniably troublesome. Prostitutes are more likely to:

These numbers don’t even touch on the fact that most female prostitutes were subjected to abuse (of a variety of varieties) as children. It’s simply a diseased world, that prostitution stuff. The dangers are self-evident.

I can’t believe that this shit is illegal. Should we outlaw running with scissors…playing with fire…beer before liquor…spreading ashes upwind? OK…I can see why it’s outlawed, but would the game be different if it were legal? The argument has been madeover and over again.


The victims are the prostitutes. The clients OBVIOUSLY don’t care about the consequences. Simple solution…don’t do it. Don’t go anywhere near it. The money isn’t worth it. You hear me children…STAY AWAY!

That’s the best I can do.

Eliot Spitzer announced his resignation today.

Update II: Spitzer penned an editorial criticizing the Bush administration for being soft on predatory lenders a day after Client 9 got some nookie. I hope he still gives ‘em hell…I’ll listen.


Barack Obama is Lucky to be Black According to Geraldine Ferarro – WTF?

Geraldine Ferraro Says Obama is Lucky to be Black
Twenty four years ago Geraldine Ferarro was the first woman to be on a major presidential ticket. She was the Vice President on the Walter Mondale ticket that lost in a landslide to Ronald Reagan. Fast forward to 2008 and Hillary Clinton is trying to become the first woman president of the United States of America and is currently embattled in a very close Democratic nomination race with Illinois Senator Barack Obama. Tonight the race goes to the Mississippi voters.

Ferarro has been attached to the Clintons since Hillary’s husband Bill’s administration appointed her to the position of ambassador to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights. She has been a strong ally of Mrs. Clinton and has served her campaign as a surrogate speaker, fund raiser, financial committee member, and even worked the phone banks. In addition to her work with the Clintons, Ferraro has worn many hats from hosting the television show “Crossfire” to being a U.S. Congresswoman, and even holding the position of senior managing director of the Global Consulting Group corporate public relations firm.

Sadly as accomplished as this woman has been and as dedicated to Hillary Clinton she has shown to be, her recent words may be the final stamp on her legacy. Like the sex scandal involved New York Governor Eliot Spitzer aka Client 9 or the “run for cover” quitting Admiral William Fallon, an entire career of public and or country service will be tarnished this week. Ferarro gave an interview to the Daily Breeze to preview her then upcoming speaking engagement at the Armstrong Theatre of the Torrance Cultural Arts Center Theatre in Torrance. In this phone interview with staff writer Jim Farber, Ferarro talked about the expected issues that challenge Hillary Clinton’s campaign. Issues like the media being soft on Barack Obama and of course gender.

“I think what America feels about a woman becoming president takes a very secondary place to Obama’s campaign – to a kind of campaign that it would be hard for anyone to run against,” she said. “For one thing, you have the press, which has been uniquely hard on her. It’s been a very sexist media. Some just don’t like her. The others have gotten caught up in the Obama campaign.”

Perhaps she should have taken pointers from the California community that regulates certain types of language rather than from gays > terrorists Sally Kern (who also fits the tarnished career description above) before she delivered her inferences that Barack Obama was having success based on the fact that he was black.

“If Obama was a white man, he would not be in this position,” she continued. “And if he was a woman (of any color) he would not be in this position. He happens to be very lucky to be who he is. And the country is caught up in the concept.

Obama finds Ferraro’s comments “absurd” and “divisive”.

This nomination process has seen record levels of media coverage and many people involved with the campaigns just running their mouths and being removed from their involvement. It is hard to decipher what is “authorized” by the candidates and what will be denied and denounced once it has been said. The final chapter of this foot-in-mouth story has likely not been written.

Additional Sources:

Eliot Spitzer Emperor Club VIP Details Emerge

Emperor Club VIP Photoshop

News that New York Governor Eliot Spitzer has been involved in a sex scandal broke yesterday. The Emperor Club VIP prostitution ring has been busted and Spitzer was forced into a public apology. Very few details were available then. So in the mean time we took it upon ourselves here at Soupy Trumpet to photoshop images and discuss the story in different ways. From the philosophical perspective in “why do smart people do dumb things” to the primal view in “failing the sex test“, The Trumpet Crew has piled on the former Time Life Magazine Crusader of the Year as we waited for the juicy details.

CNN has found out more about “Client 9″ and the wiretaps that have tied him to a prostitute named “Kristen” on Valentine’s Day in February at the Washington Hotel (Room 871) for two and a half hours. $2,712.41 is what he was billed to pay which included travel, the fee, hotel incidentals, and her time. Spitzer ended up spending $4,300 that day as he wanted to have a credit with the hooker.

Even after pouring through the official pages at The Smoking Gun, there are still plenty of sketchy parts of this story like “Kristen” being warned that Spitzer”might ask you to do things that, like, you might not think are safe”. I cannot even imagine what that might mean. There also is no mention of how often Spitzer met with the girls of the Emperor Club VIP operation or how much he had accumulated in expenses. More will likely come out from the sting that started back in October of 2007 and since had accumulated 6,000 emails, 5,000 phone and text messages, and numerous documents like bank transfers and travel records.

There has also been no official update on the status of Spitzer’s job which clearly has to be in jeopardy. All of his friends are shocked by this and some politicians have called for his resignation “to allow the people of New York to pursue honest leadership”.

We will keep you updated as the story unfolds. We may also update the Emperor Club photoshop above if we missed anybody or more public figures emerge in this international case.

Eliot Spitzer (Client 9), prostitutes, ethics, and the American tragedy

I, MC Spanky McGee, don’t have time to convince you that all my views are correct. But let’s get dirty with some “Since the beginning of time”-type questions.

MSNBC (who’s booting Tucker Carlson) asks:Why do smart people do dumb things?

“We’re all human,” said Leon Hoffman, a psychoanalyst in New York. “These urges are so, so common. Whether it’s a prostitute or a mistress that one chooses, that’s another question.”

And yet, Hoffman said, there may be something about the aura of power surrounding a prominent politician that makes him feel potentially immune from consequences.

Political analyst Steven Cohen was wary of trying to draw any conclusions about the corrupting influence of power.

“The problem is we don’t know when this behavior started for this person,” said Cohen, a professor of public administration at Columbia University. “Politicians are like the rest of us. The fact that they’re flawed and do stupid things shouldn’t surprise us.”

Held to a higher standard?
The real question, Cohen said, is whether Spitzer should be held to a different ethical standard. And his answer is yes.

Ok, let’s talk about this ethics stuff.

I’ll bypass the question of whether hard determinism implies that ethical standards are rendered invalidated, and move on to discuss one of the double-standards we have for public celebrities.

We love to build certain people up, to give them power, to give them the fame and fortune, but we get tack on the requirement of the “higher ethical standard.” However, we set the bar high, and we get super-excited when those celebrities fail, and we praise our own moral rectitude at the same time. “Oh, my goodness, I wouldn’t have done that if I were Guvna…” Never mind that so many of us would fail these same circumstances. He might be a hypocrite, but wouldn’t so many of us be??? Make sure to imagine yourself in the same intoxicating power-position, surrounded by such temptations…

Now, I’m not saying that some of the Ol’ Soupy Trumpet crew is innocent–after all, we are clowning Eliot Spitzer. But I am capable of knowing what a douchebag I can be. I’m not going to tell you that I could best Spitzer. Who knows? I couldn’t even rise to his heights in the beginning. I’ll clown Spitzer at the same time I clown myself.

The point is not to prop up Spitzer. It’s to drag the rest of us self-righteous types down. (Ted Haggard, anyone? Anyone?)

-MC Spanky McGee

P.S. Eliot: do you want to save your ass? Pull a Swaggart. Get sweaty, teary, and REBORN. That’s not the path to salvation with Baby Jesus. But it might still work as American Salvation.

Soupy Trumpet Blasts from the Web 3-10-08

Here’s another Soupy Trumpet daily-dose of internet finds to enjoy:

And Hot Off The Soupy Trumpet Press:

New York Governor Eliot Spitzer kicks it with Emperors Club VIP prostitutes

Eliot Spitzer Prostitution Ring

Spanky says:

The New York Times reports that New York Governor Eliot Spitzer has been involved in a prostitution ring.

Looks like the politicians sure are going bonkers in the last few days, with Sally Kern telling us that gays are worse than terrorists.

Look, now is not the time to dismiss all politicians out of hand–although I get tempted myself. Don’t think, “They’re all scumbags,” on the basis of a few cases. Some assholes are worse than others. Fact. So, you should vote for the person that will be the smallest asshole!!!

Back to Spitzer, he claims during his public statement today that politics is not about individuals but is about ideas.

Ok, Eliot. Maybe in an ideal world. But the public won’t accept that distinction. You’re gonna get a ton of pressure to walk, bro.

Grown Pumpkin‘s Analysis:
Does having your wife stand by you make it seem like you’re OK in spite of all of your misdoing? Looking at her face, I would say no. In fact I think parading her up there does her a disservice and may make you come off as even more of an insincere douche. You were named the “Crusader of the Year” by Time Magazine and even “Eliot Ness” for sorting out corrupt “establishment” members. Now you are yet another corrupt politician, worthy of lampooning and photoshopping (like you as Don Magic Juan above). You are no longer the crusader. You are going to lose your job over this. Your reputation is gone. Your apology for your “private matter” seems so fake and hollow.

The best / worst part of all of this is that all the details have yet to emerge (update: details are emerging). We know he has been referred to as “Client 9″ in the Emperors Club VIP bust that has linked high rollers to prostitutes around the world using wiretaps. It appears he was a client, and maybe he was just there to talk… or we will be treated to raunchy details of yet another hypocritical politician’s extramarital sex life. Hopefully his family and friends and the millions he is responsible for will be able to move on without too much harm. People make mistakes, but hiding it under public trust and ultimately showing no true remorse multiplies and magnifies your offense. Sir, if you were a regular guy, nobody would care… but you promised New York voters you were different and Time Magazine took the bait.

I hope you weren’t buying the 7 Diamond girls that cost $5,500 each hour… and I hope that money was yours and not the government’s… and I hope that they are women hookers for your sake or Sally Kern may breathe hot fire down on you. Hopefully there are no photos or video of you in some crazy oufit doing crazy things… this thing could get way worse.

I admittedly knew very little of you until today, and while my photoshop is inaccurate (you were a John and not Mr. Whitefolks), it will be in my head from here out. Others will have similar thoughts of the former crusader of the year.

Bro Taguchi’s analysis:

Being the Gooch, I gotta jump in here. That photoshop is one of the $$$-est things I’ve ever seen…

I see two issues here. First and foremost, this isn’t really a “corrupt politician” story, it’s a hypocrisy story. Spitzer was a real cowboy as the Attorney General of New York, but now he’ll be seen as just another power-monger who decided to bust others for disobeying corporate trading laws while ignoring other laws by runnin up in hoes in the clubby-club. Some people can get away with such selective obedience/enforcement…state governors cannot.

Spitzer was one of my favorite guys for a long time, and to some degree I still respect him. Let’s face it…this is another “beej in the White House” type of story. This leads to the 2nd issue…is a guy is a scorn-worthy scumbag because he got loved up by a prostitute? The unequivocal answer to that in today’s political environment is “yes,” but I’d take Spitzer any day of the week over former Illinois Governor George Ryan (who used his office to get very wealthy rather than to get laid). I don’t think Spitzer fleeced Time magazine…he just took liberties with other parts of his life. He truly was the Crusader of the Year (who dipped on the side)…not unlike MLK or JFK. History has been much more forgiving to these men, and their political legacies remain in tact. Hell, one of ‘em even gets a national holiday. In spite of all this massaging, I should point out that now is, in fact, resignation time.

Issue 2.5: If people want to differentiate between having sex with “not-my-wife” for money or for free (as it pertains to Spitzer’s character), that’s their issue…or perhaps the government’s issue. S’all the same to me.