MORE GUNS. PART DEUX. Girl shot over *potato chips*; Northern Illinois University.

UPDATE 2 /14/2008 6:23 PM:The Soupy Trumpet writers offer their deepest sympathy for the victims at Northern Illinois University, where a terrible shooting occurred today. Spanky has a degree from that institution and has much love for the Huskies. Our cultural trouble with guns continues, sadly.

Authorities say a 10-year-old boy shot his younger sister in the face after she refused to give him a bag of potato chips. Dillon County Chief Deputy Douglas Pernell says the children were home alone when they started arguing Tuesday afternoon. Investigators say after his 9-year-old sister refused to hand over the chips, the boy got his father’s shotgun, loaded a shell, pointed the gun at his sister and fired. Authorities say the girl was wounded in her right cheek, but is expected to survive. Deputies say they have asked the Department of Juvenile Justice to charge the boy with assault and battery with intent to kill. His name was not released.”

Let’s keep pushing the idea that disputes are to be solved with guns, that justice is served by having them everywhere. “Guns don’t kill people, People kill people.”

Eff that. I’ve already argued that people are more likely to kill people when there are more guns lying around.

When all you have is a hammer, everything starts to look like a …. when all you have is a gun, everything starts to look like a ….The tragedy is that this girl got hurt and also that this boy doesn’t even know what he’s done. And we’re all complicit. I reject the idea that it’s only the gun companies, or only Hollywood, or only the consumer. We’re all in on it. And I am, too, goddamnit. And that sucks. What to do?

-Agent Spanky McGee

P.S. Before you start concluding that I’m so anti-gun, you should know I’m a pragmatist. I think I have the right to a gun because there are already so many nuts who want their guns so damned badly, and I need to defend myself against them. It puts me in a bit of a bind, I know. Stuck in Baghdad, stuck with guns.

Spanky wonders whether anyone else thinks that we Americans are neurotic, stressed-out, high-strung freakazoids that need a hardcore vacation from being Americans….


Chant it with me.

In light of the terrible City Council shootings and the Lousiana Technical College shootings, I’m wondering how proponents of the NRA can argue that we need more guns. The NRA will probably try to claim that, had the victims been armed, the attempting murderers would’ve been stopped in a careful and rational way. What do I mean by “stopped”?

One of the headlines on the NRA’s site today (2/9/2008) is “Store owner fatally shot suspected thief.” The part that really gives the NRA a rock-hard boner is “fatally.” There’s nothing like killing, and if we can do it with the law on our side, all the better.

Of course, I’m all for the claim that killing in self-defense is justified. But, do I really want to be around lots of people who are all armed and are constantly getting itchy trigger finger because they know that everyone around them has guns? Do we really think that they would become better judges of when and how to use a gun? I think people would become more irrational. Why? Because people are scared of dying, and nothing breeds irrationality more than fear.

In a culture where we all have guns, people would constantly fear for their lives and there would be death all over the place.

But maybe that’s what the NRA wants. Maybe they want us to extinguish ourselves, all in the name of the law. We’ll all kill each other in the name of self-defense…

Shit, even the Teletubbies would constantly be ready to pop a cap at the slightest provocation….

teletubbies pull out guns

(original image:…)

Damn, I’m ready to play some Halo 3 today…