Master Chief, you, too, got a dart in your neck

Pumpkin and I have noticed that switching from Call of Duty 4 back to Halo 3 makes you feel like you just got hit by a Mastodon-sized tranq dart.

According to this Wikipedia article,

Most modern action games, including popular first person shooters such as Halo 3, run around 30 frames a second, while others, such as Call of Duty 4, run at 60 frames a second.”

Of course, I never know when to trust Wikipedia, but this explanation seems pretty plausible.

One’s brain does seem to adjust to the Halo 3 framerate after delivering a few teabags, but I now always feel the urge to make Master Queef sprint (one suspects that he has consumed too many Krispy Kremes….) just as my homeboy in COD 4 can.
Very odd–why does Master Chief have supreme basketball-dunking-ability, but he’s slower than your grandpa at family reunion flag football? Makes no damn sense.

At any rate, Bungie seems not to have taken full-advantage of the 360′s hardware, but I doubt I know what I’m talking about. As Pumpkin has noted, Bungie seems to be doing a lot of mopping up on itself to stop the hemorrhaging of gamers. Maybe there’s somthing they can do to fix the drunkass Master Chief phenomenon…

The more I think about it, the more COD 4 seems to rock. But something is still missing… More to come on this.

XBOX 360 loose microphone problem–solved!

So, you play tons of XBOX 360, and now your microphone no longer stays attached to your controller. It gets loose and falls out in the middle of a game. This can be very frustrating, especially if you need to tell Grown Pumpkin that he is about to get hit with rockets in the Pit.

There is a very simple solution to this problem. Take some rubber cement, and did your finger into it (assuming that the cement is nontoxic and you will not get you a rash on your little buddy when you touch it.) Put a light coat of cement on the part that attaches to your controller, but do not put any on the metal part that conducts the audio signal to the microphone. (This should be obvious, and if you do not understand this, Bro Taguchi will hit you with a tack hammer.) The rubber cement should provide the grip and friction needed to keep the mic attached to the controller. However, you should be able to remove the mic still–bonus.

The rubber cement is relatively cheap, and you can reapply as needed. I did this to my controller, and it has made a huge difference for me. Although it still can’t save me from that damned Needler.

Hope this helps. This way you can keep talking shit to Pumpkin and me when we house you in Halo 3.

MC Spanky McGee

PS. While you’re here, check out my critique of the Halo 3 teabag montage.