Hillary Clinton is Rocky Balboa?

Hillary Clinton as Rocky Balboa

Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton says she is like Sylvester Stallone’s HGH enhanced geriatric famous movie boxer, Rocky Balboa. She means she never quits… even when maybe she should. Her opponent in this fight, Barack Obama is far more like Ivan Drago or Mason “The Line” Dixon (aka Antonio “Magic Man” Tarver) than he is Tommy Gunn.

We get it, Senator Hillary Clinton embodies the American “never say die” spirit. We appreciate it. I think most of us even like her for it, and like her in general (even like the idea of Hillary basing her entire future on some bowling). That being said, that Rocky quip is certainly worth a photoshop.

Stallone’s Rambo Kill Count Biggest Yet – Thanks HGH

Rambo

On Friday I saw the new Rambo movie starring and directed by Sylvester Stallone. I bought the Ultimate Rambo DVD Collection at Best Buy and it came with a free ticket to the new theatrical release…so really it cost me about $10-$12 for three DVD’s and a ticket to the new movie… as good as that sounds, I may have been jobbed by still paying that much. Anyway, the movie is super short and Sly looks like a douche his brother Frank at the beginning of the movie with his highwater pants and loose fitting clothing. The plot is extremely blah and unbelievable and the acting is dreadful and cliché. That being said…when I woke up about midway in, Sly was buff and muddy, and killing people like crazy and *poof* I am now transported back to the old-school and am eating Rambo up.

His kills are extremely over the top including blown off limbs, chopped off heads, and torn out throats. I lost track of how many people were killed in the movie after about 3 so I looked it up. Little did I know that Rambo death stats are readily available across the net and I gathered ours from DarkHorizons.com who gathered theirs from other sources (on their page).

236 is the total kill count number of this film… the good guys only had a +10 k/d ratio (Halo Reference) and Rambo accounted for just at 35% of the total kills in the film. There are over 2.5 kills per minute in this film. Ironically Rambo never parlayed any of this straight manliness into any tail in any of the movies. In fact the main woman in the film is married and he appears to not be interested in a the only hot woman in the jungle.

Is the kill count a product of Sly being all ‘jacked up’ on HGH? I don’t know anything about human growth hormone except what Roger Clemens and friends have lied said about it. Chances are you just get huge Rambo man-titty-balls and no real side-effects. Regardless it is notable that athletes are in front of congress, getting in trouble, losing work and such for using H.G.H. but actors can get swoll for movies with no consequence… even endorsing it’s use. Either way I don’t care, I’ll stick with the seasonal McRibs to get big.