The conspiracy phase.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/05/26/bill.clinton.mon/index.html

Here some highlights:

Clinton also suggested some were trying to “cover up” Sen. Clinton’s chances of winning in key states that Democrats will have to win in the general election. “

“She is winning the general election today and he is not, according to all the evidence,” [Bill] Clinton said. “And I have never seen anything like it. I have never seen a candidate treated so disrespectfully just for running.” “

My favorite part:

Clinton did not expound on who he was accusing.

Hillary will be bitter after this election. She thought she was going to stomp B.O. in this thing, and now the truth is dawning on her, although in a hazy kind of way–like how a drunk remembers there are still microwave burritos in the freezer. Bill will harp on this election for years.

The Clintons are soooooo confused, soooooo tired that they can’t even tell you who they’re fighting against. Bill is just lashing out at THEM. THEY are holding little Hillary back.

People don’t follow politics because of assholes like the Clintons. They grate on your nerves, and you’d rather just play xbox or watch “Flavor of Love III” until your goddamned brain has turned to tapioca.

-MC Spanky McGee

“Less-educated white voters”

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24714065/

In an interview with MSNBC’s Chris Matthews, McAuliffe referred to surveys of voters as they left their polling places which showed Clinton running most strongly among less-educated white voters, among whom she won nearly 75 percent support. “

Sure! Brag about that shit. “Less-educated” voters. Ha! Laughable.

Can you see Hillary up there, saying: “I have the support of less-educated voters”?

Yo, HILL: keep ‘em. I don’t want them. Is it really all that surprising that people who presumably have weaker critical reasoning and reading skills would buy into the kind of bullshit that Hillary peddles on a daily basis?

Not to this dude. Don’t I sound elitist? You bet your sweet ass I do. I think vast amounts of Americans should be much better educated than they are.

-MC Spanky McGee

P.S. Tell them to “Get busy! Go to school!”

Clinton is selling apples, but people want oranges.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/05/13/wv.primary/index.html?iref=mpstoryview

Reiterating a point she has made frequently while campaigning in West Virginia, Clinton pointed out Tuesday that no Democrat has won the White House since 1916 without winning West Virginia.

Bill Clinton won there in 1992 and 1996. George W. Bush took the state in 2000 and 2004.

In addition to West Virginia, Clinton’s campaign points to other swing states she has won — like Ohio and Pennsylvania — as they try to woo superdelegates to their side.

Yes, yes. But she has missed the point. I understand that a Democrat must win swing states. No brainer. But it doesn’t matter that she won against a fellow Democrat. You have to win against the Republican, dumbass. Apples and oranges. General Tso’s and pizza.

And I don’t buy these polls that say that these swing-stater-Hillary-supporters will vote for McCain over Obama. It’s bullshit spoiled-grapes nonsense. They will think about the war and the goddamned economy, and they will be voting BLUE. Bottom line.

(Although, if she wins, maybe I’ll bail out on her. “MC Spanky McGee, you’re an asshole.” Yes, I am.)

It’s the same kind of political sophistry she’s been pulling all along, like claiming that she has “won” Florida and Michigan.

Yeah, and I used to be a badass in YMCA soccer. Whoopdiefuckingdoo.

-MC Spanky McGee

Dems, Gas Taxes and (more) Red Herring

Hillary supports a gas tax holiday (wherein the federal government would suspend its 18.4-cent per gallon tax for a few months). She decided to start pumping this idea a couple weeks after John McCain started pumping the idea. Obama opposes the gas tax holiday. Here’s why (in short, because it won’t work). The two sides have gone back and forth now, with Obama issuing a recent ad in North Carolina dissing the holiday idea.

I’m not arguing merits. I’m more concerned about what Howard Wolfson said regarding Senator Obama’s opposition to the idea:

“That’s a critical distinction in this race between, in Senator Clinton, someone who understands the pain that middle class and working class families are feeling…and Senator Obama, somebody who just doesn’t seem to understand that middle class families are hurting, working class families are hurting and that they need relief,” Clinton Communications Director Howard Wolfson said.

Actually, Howard, the distinction is that Camp Clinton only wants to talk about the symptoms. The remedy is bunk, no matter how you slice it. A three-month suspension of the gas tax will do nothing but advance America’s debt, even if it does help keep Americans pumped full of nicotine and Nikes, and rob billions of dollars from federal highway development. That means workers and suppliers with no work to do. The holiday a classic political kiss-up to the voting masses. It’s a horrible solution. Does it remind you of any other recent political band-aids (to take your mind off the fact that a $500 billion war is sucking your economy dry)? It takes absolutely no economic or political expertise to know that these are ridiculous initiatives that will only cost more in the end.

Hill also busts BO’s chops with a last-minute Indiana TV ad including the following nugget:

“(Obama) is attacking Hillary’s plan to give you a break on gas prices because he doesn’t have one,”

He also doesn’t have a plan to invade Canada. Ergo, he won’t be ready at 3 AM because he’ll be too busy being a Muslim and plagiarizing Reverend Wright’s book on how to be an elitist. This crap is so knuckleheaded it couldn’t even fool this dude:

…right? Please…tell me they won’t fall for this. We just need enough people to point out what it really is. We are reaching a breaking point. It STILL may not be this week…but it’s coming.

Ralph:

http://image.vmixcore.com/85/285/25/4719080/104/85/47/3a0c0953e74086074c2d5536f12911ee.jpg

Hillary Clinton reveals the true depths of her delusions

http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/04/24/campaign.wrap/index.html

Clinton claims she leads in the popular vote.

“I’m very proud that as of today, I have received more votes by the people who have voted than anyone else,” Clinton said Wednesday, one day after her decisive win in Pennsylvania.

Not so fast, says Obama’s campaign. Clinton’s count includes her wins in Michigan and Florida, but the Democratic presidential candidates agreed not to campaign in those states because they violated party rules by scheduling their contests too early.

Look, this is just crazy talk. You can’t count those damned votes from Florida and Michigan. She should know this, seeing as she has been whining so much about how they’ve been disenfranchised.

Hillary: if they were disenfranchised, then their votes didn’t count.

You can’t have it both ways, you crazy-ass fool.

Barack Obama needs to hammer her on this point. She is full of shit.

If Obama can’t see that she has made a huge blunder here, he’s an idiot.

-Agent Spanky.

Campaign debt = no confidence in Hillary.

Clinton’s primary campaign begins April in debt

According to campaign reports filed with the Federal Election Commission over the weekend, the New York senator began the month of April with close to $32 million cash-on hand. But, according to the Associated Press, only $9 million of that total are funds that are able to be spent in the primary races. The report also showed Clinton owes more than $10 million, meaning the Democratic presidential candidate was in the red even before she heavily stepped up television advertising in Pennsylvania. “

Look, ordinarily I’d call Hillary a good American because of such a debt load, but clearly something has gone wrong.

We are big fans of the idea that you measure how awesome someone is by their cash on hand. And Hillary is just not getting it done.

Well, after the sniper fire LIE, I think a lot of people have had enough.

Why is she still going? I don’t get it.

I think she’s gonna need a few more shots after she comes to her senses and realizes what a shitty campaign she has run.

-MC Spanky McGee

Hillary: Nah, bro…we’re cool.

Somehow indicating that she has a pulse on how the gaffes of her own campaign will be interpreted by voters, Hillary Clinton says the controversy and resignation of Mark Penn won’t hurt her campaign. This is so amusing. When I was about 8 years old, we would play a game in my neighborhood that we just called “Guns.” We all had toy guns (I actually had an M-16 that was one of the “it” weapons in the hood). It was basically hide and seek, but to “catch” somebody you had to “shoot” them from relatively point blank range before they “shot” you. The game ALWAYS devolved into an argument when one player would ambush another from the bushes with a subsequent dispute over whether the shot was successful.

Kid 1: “Blat…blllllllat! I shot you.” (noises were obligatory)

Kid 2: “No you didn’t.” (running away)

Argument ensued. I’m sure you get it. Hillary is now playing the role of Kid 2. “You didn’t hit me…see?”

I don’t usually care about what the comments to a particular article say, but it looks like everyone on CNN.com is tired of Hill’s spin cycle. EVERY SINGLE comment says something to her credibility. With her dwindling lead in the Pennsylvania polls, it looks like her act is played…sooooooo played.

I won’t call for it now, but pretty soon it will be time for Hill to:

[youtube width="425" height="355"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45LzDRmHrmg[/youtube]

It may be Pennsylvania (April 22). It may be North Carolina (May 6). IT MAY BE GUAM (May 3)…but it’s coming.

Sniper fire is now a joke for Clinton.

Clinton pokes fun at Bosnia gaffe, Bill

It was a gaffe that caused the Clinton campaign a serious headache two weeks ago, but in an appearance on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Thursday night, the New York senator was all smiles about it.

As she walked out on stage, Clinton told Leno she almost didn’t make the interview.

“I was pinned down by sniper fire at the Burbank airport,” Clinton said laughing. “

Try to laugh it off, Hillary. Go ahead. I’m not laughing.

“You know this has been such a mismatch of words and actions,” Clinton also told Leno. “I was thinking about it, because obviously I’ve been so privileged to represent our country in, gosh, more than 80 other countries, lots of war zones and all the rest of it — I wrote about this in my book and obviously I just had a lapse.” “

Nice. Hillary’s experience is so vast that it caused her to make shit up. That’s the message. See how full of shit she is? The more I’ve thought about the sniper story, the more I’ve realized what a liar she is. Where did she get the material for that supposed memory? As friends of mine have said, there’s no fuckin’ way that the government would let the first lady fly into a war zone like that. It makes no sense.

No amount of laughing it off or trying to pin it to her little vacations is going to convince me that this was a simple brain fart. It’s not. It’s a goddamned lie that attempted to trick the American people, and it should be called for what it is.

-MC Spanky McGee