NASA, Apple join KFC in the race for alien business

NASA on Monday will broadcast the Beatles’ song “Across the Universe” across the galaxy to Polaris, the North Star.

The idea came from Martin Lewis, a Los Angeles-based Beatles historian, who then got permission from McCartney, Yoko Ono and the two companies that own the rights to Beatles’ music. One of those companies, Apple, was happy to approve the idea because is ‘always looking for new markets,’ Lewis said. “

Apple is a bit slow here, since this has been in style ever since KFC started selling chicken to aliens. However, I’m sure that aliens will be happy to add crappy Finger Eleven songs to their playlists.

In other news, during a Soupy Trumpet conference call yesterday morning, Grown Pumpkin assured Trumpet shareholders that the company would surely expand its dog crap delivery service to aliens. Bro Taguchi, however, was skeptical that Pumpkin’s dog, Mudbutt, could keep up with demand on Degoba.

-MC Spanky McGee

We need a husky president.

“Huckabee challenges Romney over fried chicken”


I ain’t no Republican, but even if I were, I wouldn’t be votin’ for nobody who doesn’t know how to eat KFC. Hell, I’d rather vote for Jabba–we know he can get it done.

Who better to lead a nation of husky people than someone who can house KFC?

Huckabee is certainly justified in going after Romney on this.

Shit, I’m surprised he didn’t order a Snacker. Bro Taguchi will certainly show Romney how to order–and to destroy–some KFC. I’m sure Pumpkin has strong views on this, as well.

Just goes to show you how strong Romney’s tea is:


All this has made me very hungry. And very, very cranky. I hope Romney gets a rating of zero Taguchis.