2008 Oscar Predictions Collected

Grown Pumpkin at the Oscars

The red carpet is already in full swing as tonight February 24, 2008 in less than one hour, ABC will be broadcasting the Jon Stewart hosted 80th annual Academy Awards, better known as the Oscars.  This year the juggernaut movies are Atonement, Michael Clayton (I liked this one), No Country For Old Men, and There Will Be Blood, each of which got seven or eight nominations.  Juno, The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, and Ratatouille each got four or five.

Of the movies nominated that I liked – American Gangster, 3:10 to Yuma, Sweeney Todd the Demon Barber of Fleet Street, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Eastern Promises, Gone Baby Gone, The Bourne Ultimatum, and The Assassination of Jesse James By the Coward Robert Ford – none gathered more than three nominations.  Additionally the AWFUL Eddie Murphy stinker Norbit got more nominations (1) than Sean Penn’s Into the Wild, Hairspray, The Simpsons Movie, Tim Burton, Helena Bonham Carter, Denzel Washington, or Christian Bale.

There are always a good number of snubs and there is never a shortage of Oscar predictions.  We have prepared a collection of some of those predictions in one spot.  This way we can make a scorecard of all the wrong picks the “experts” made prior to tonight.  Originally we were going to prepare our own, but we do not care enough about this particular collection of nominations as it is configured to warrant writing a “Soupy Trumpet Picks” article.  After Kanye West got hosed at the Grammys, we have been having a hard time with award shows in general.

Predictions (sampling):

* contrary to the photoshopped image above, Grown Pumpkin will NOT be attending the Oscars… let alone watching them

Life after Ledger: The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus and Depp, Law, Farrell


Jude Law, Johnny Depp and Colin Farrell will appear as Heath Ledger’s character in unfinished film The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, the BBC has learned….
The fantasy film follows a travelling theatre troupe which offers audience members the chance to pass through a magical mirror to alternate dimensions….
Depp, Law, and Farrell are each expected to “become” Ledger’s character in one of these new worlds.

It must be difficult for a director to complete a movie when you lose such a talented actor in the middle of making it–not only emotionally, but professionally. It sounds like the plot of this movie is conducive to this creative move involving Depp, Law, and Farrell as incarnations of Ledger’s character. I imagine this will also serve as the trio’s tribute. I’m betting you’ll get a top-notch performance out of them, whatever the quality of the script.

-MC Spanky McGee

The Hunt for American Awesomeness

In case you can’t remember, The Hunt for Red October is fucking awesome. It’s been playing on AMC lately.

Why is it so awesome, you ask?

To keep it short, it is for the simple reason that the Russian sub captain, Marko Ramius, has had enough of the USSR’s bullshit and he’s ready to float his ass into NYC and maybe go to Montana. And he’s bringing that glorious warship with him. If you’re going to defect, that’s the fucking way to do it. The only way to one-up would be to do it with a fucking aircraft carrier… Honk the horn as you park that bitch next to the Statue of Liberty: “BUH BUH BITCHES!”

What else is cool is that he tricks his crew into bailing out from the sub. Ramius (with Russian accent): “Sorry, guys, I know your feeble minds cannot comprehend sweeeeeet nature of American girls at American dance club, so get the fuck off my boat….” And off they go on their little rafts, probably to be deported back to the old USSR.

You don’t hear of movies with American captains defecting. It should be obvious as to why. But in case you forgot, it’s because WE’RE FUCKING AWESOME.

Bro Taguchi adds:

Don’t forget the audacity of the entire plot: I’m [Ramius] such a badass that there’s some credulous little punk in the bowels of a CIA office with no windows studying my every move like he’s following a true champion…which he is. I’ll just wait for him to come bail us out when we get stuck…the “buckaroo”

Check this movie out–again–when you have a chance.

-Agent Spanks