CNN reports that a snake-handling preacher has been arrested:

The pastor of a Kentucky church that handles snakes in religious rites was among 10 people arrested by wildlife officers in a crackdown on the venomous snake trade.

More than 100 snakes, many of them deadly, were confiscated in the undercover sting after Thursday’s arrests, said Col. Bob Milligan, director of law enforcement for Kentucky Fish and Wildlife.

Most were taken from the Middlesboro home of Gregory James Coots, including 42 copperheads, 11 timber rattlesnakes, three cottonmouth water moccasins, a western diamondback rattlesnake, two cobras and a puff adder.

Handling snakes is practiced in a handful of fundamentalist churches across Appalachia, based on the interpretation of Bible verses saying true believers can take up serpents without being harmed.

I feel a strong urge to recommend that all Christian nutjobs should go pick up some puff adders, but I will resist that urge.

Let’s think a little bit here. Aren’t there other ways to tell whether someone really believes in Baby Jesus?

Surely there are. I doubt the snake handling is the only litmus test.

And what is it with Christians and snakes anyway? That’s just so Ozzy of them.

-MC Spanky McGee

MC Spanky McGee is trying to get back in the saddle here at the Trumpet.

Soupy Trumpet Blasts from the Web 6-17-2008


Newly found planets make case for ‘crowded universe’

How to Make Windows Vista Less Annoying

Power User’s Guide to Firefox 3

How to rescue a stinky T-shirt (Coping with str…

Cindy McCain Caught Plagiarizing Recipes AGAIN

Dealzmodo: Amazon MP3 Albums For $1.99 (Starting With Coldplay)

Soupy Trumpet Blasts from the Web 5-31-2008

Taco Bell Embraces the Drive Thru Rap


Japan man discovers woman living in his closet

ReplacementDocs Finds Manuals and Maps for Video Games

Grown Pumpkin will like that one.

RateBeer Finds You a Good Brew

I like that. Beer. MMMM!

Alien Video Uncovered: Real or Fake?

Make sure your computer speakers are on for the video. There’s audio.

A system of waste. $2 billion in gas gone.

Flight delays could cost airlines more than $2 billion in wasted jet fuel this year, according to a congressional report released on Thursday. “

We have designed (or have been complicit in designing) a system that is extremely wasteful, and then we have the nerve to cry about these gas prices.

Think of all the damned plastic we throw away, all the gas we waste driving faster than we need to (just to save 2 minutes of driving). Poor little Bro Taguchi was telling me last night that when he went to the recycling center in Des Moines, that they wouldn’t even accept plastics numbered 3-6 (or something like that.) That is absurd. Even if the people happen to be willing to do their part in saving energy, the system isn’t set up to allow them to do that to the best of their abilities.

Who was involved in setting up this system? I do not want to treat it as if it is some mysterious spooky entity like the invisible hand. (The invisible hand can bite me.) We are all responsible for the status of the system. Now it seems that it is too large to steer in any direction, and it will take a major crash for us to start to do something new.

We are certainly shortsighted creatures.

$2 billion. Up in smoke.

-MC Spanky McGee

Appeals court says Texas had no right to seize children from FLDS

Imagine that. Well, I guess this legal disaster is going to lurch on. You know that the Texas authorities are going to pull some other gambit.

Looks like these kids get to go back to the loony farm, at least for a little while.

Hey, the FLDS should feel lucky Janet Reno isn’t around. We know what tactics she likes to use.


-MC Spanky McGee

“Less-educated white voters”

In an interview with MSNBC’s Chris Matthews, McAuliffe referred to surveys of voters as they left their polling places which showed Clinton running most strongly among less-educated white voters, among whom she won nearly 75 percent support. “

Sure! Brag about that shit. “Less-educated” voters. Ha! Laughable.

Can you see Hillary up there, saying: “I have the support of less-educated voters”?

Yo, HILL: keep ‘em. I don’t want them. Is it really all that surprising that people who presumably have weaker critical reasoning and reading skills would buy into the kind of bullshit that Hillary peddles on a daily basis?

Not to this dude. Don’t I sound elitist? You bet your sweet ass I do. I think vast amounts of Americans should be much better educated than they are.

-MC Spanky McGee

P.S. Tell them to “Get busy! Go to school!”

Soupy Trumpet Blasts from the Web 5-21-2008


Lost parrot knows address

Top 10 Firefox 3 Features

Vh1 Holding Metal Memorial

Oh shit. Metal weekend. SWEEEEEEEET!

McDonald’s Southern Style Chicken Biscuit

Taguchi swears it’s cash.

FakeTV emulates human watching the tube, supposedly discourages thieves

Oh, come on. Like we need something to fake that. I think the burglar’s starting assumption is that your over-sized ass is in the couch watching TV. It’s the American thing to do.

To the Americans:

Bush says Saudi oil increase ‘doesn’t solve our problem’

But Saudi oil minister Ali al-Naimi said Friday it had decided a week before Bush’s visit to raise production by 300,000 barrels a day to 9.45 million barrels a day and didn’t see any need to do more. Energy analysts called the boost a token — it represents just 3 percent of the total — and it was seen as a rebuff, if a gentle one, of Bush by Abdullah.

Still, the president steered clear of criticism of the Saudis. He noted they are increasing refining capacity as well as pumping more oil.

“It’s not enough. It’s something but it doesn’t solve our problem,” Bush said. “One of the interesting things about American politics is, those who are screaming the loudest for increased production from Saudi Arabia are the very same people who are the fighting the fiercest against domestic exploration, against the development of nuclear power and against expanding refining capacity.” “

Listen up, people. Stop whining about the damned price of oil. We are responsible for its price. It’s simple–it’s called supply and demand. The economic solution is to consume less oil. Recycle your goddamned plastic Diet Coke bottle, turn off your lights, and ride a bike or the bus. Use less energy, and lower prices will surely follow.

-MC Spanky McGee

Soupy Trumpet Blasts from the Web 5-15-2008


Girl’s twin found inside her stomach


How to Cram All Your Travel Gear in One Bag

NYU Student Creates Virtual Girlfriend—Shame She’s Only 2D

Yes, the dorks never cease to come up with new ways of pretending to get some.

Clinton is selling apples, but people want oranges.

Reiterating a point she has made frequently while campaigning in West Virginia, Clinton pointed out Tuesday that no Democrat has won the White House since 1916 without winning West Virginia.

Bill Clinton won there in 1992 and 1996. George W. Bush took the state in 2000 and 2004.

In addition to West Virginia, Clinton’s campaign points to other swing states she has won — like Ohio and Pennsylvania — as they try to woo superdelegates to their side.

Yes, yes. But she has missed the point. I understand that a Democrat must win swing states. No brainer. But it doesn’t matter that she won against a fellow Democrat. You have to win against the Republican, dumbass. Apples and oranges. General Tso’s and pizza.

And I don’t buy these polls that say that these swing-stater-Hillary-supporters will vote for McCain over Obama. It’s bullshit spoiled-grapes nonsense. They will think about the war and the goddamned economy, and they will be voting BLUE. Bottom line.

(Although, if she wins, maybe I’ll bail out on her. “MC Spanky McGee, you’re an asshole.” Yes, I am.)

It’s the same kind of political sophistry she’s been pulling all along, like claiming that she has “won” Florida and Michigan.

Yeah, and I used to be a badass in YMCA soccer. Whoopdiefuckingdoo.

-MC Spanky McGee