Revolver mag dedicates entire issue to Tool. What about the new album?

Well, there might be “the” new album. Let’s come back to that in a sec.

In answer to the overwhelming number of requests from readers around the world, we can confirm that Revolver’s special 2008 issue, entirely devoted to prog-metal wizards Tool, will indeed be available in countries around the world. “

I’m picking this shit up. It’s true.

Now, let’s get wildly speculative here.

This is an odd time for such an issue to come out. Why would they release this magazine 2 full years after the latest album? It doesn’t make much sense. Normally this move is pulled in the entertainment industry just after a new album has come out. The reason is simple: the mag plays off the hype of the new album, the mag promotes the album, and everyone wins. Duh.

But why now?

There are the rumors that Tool is working on a new album. I don’t know shit about it, as I’ve already said. But the timing of this issue might be a pump-primer. The magazine itself says that fan demand drove it. But something is still off….

Bear in mind that I’m only speculating. Wildly. More to follow on this bullshit.

-MC Spanky McGee

Soupy Trumpet Blasts from the Web 5-9-2008


Obama narrows Clinton’s lead in superdelegates

Track Your Domino’s Pizza Order from a Terminal

Pumpkin will like that one.

Dorky. Very dorky.

Papa John’s $.23 Pizza Causing Huge Lines

How to get on Xbox Live with Dialup

Pumpkin and I have cracked on this concept so much, but someone apparently needs to get it done.

Georgia busts “drug” candy.

Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue signed a measure into law Wednesday that bans the sale of “marijuana flavored products” to minors — anyone under 18 — and calls for a fine of up to $500 for each offense. “

Senator Doug Stoner pushed the bill in the senate. “I don’t think that folks are aware this is going on,” Stoner told Channel 2 in April. “It’s mainly, from what I can tell, particularly targeted to minority communities.” “

Doug Stoner. Tells you. Not to use. Drug Candy. Doug. Stoner.

Yeah, that’s what I have for you right now. Hillary Clinton just doesn’t seem to own a calculator, and I’m tired of screaming into the dark, telling her to get one from goddamned Walgreens or Drugtown. Shit–you could probably get one at KUM N GO (which Bro Taguchi tells me has a bunch of stores being auctioned off in Iowa…. sweet).

Well, I’m out. I gotta find lunch. More ranting to follow.

-MC Spanky McGee

Crazy cat people of the world: you get no love from me.

This is an elderly woman who got a ticket for having 80 cats in her home, although city ordinance prohibits having more than 4. In the video, the woman calls the cats “her kids.”

Now this is the kind of nonsense to which Spanky here doesn’t usually fall prey. No amount of anthropomorphizing your cats, calling them your children, is going to convince me that you’re not nuts. 1. You don’t need that many cats 2. You don’t want that many cats (you can’t even remember their fucking names) (as if cats give a shit about their names). The fact of the matter is, you fucked up, your few cats had more cats, your dumbass got stuck, and now you’re super-stuck. Then you try to pull some emotionally-loaded terms out on CNN? Sorry, sister, but it doesn’t work with me.

Ok, I gotta get back to work. I hope the SS Hillary gets hammered by the SS B.O. today–because Hillary sucks.

-MC Spanky McGee

Girl gives birth, carries infant to hospital.

Girl carries secret baby to hospital, still attached

A 17-year-old girl gave birth secretly at home, then walked four blocks to a hospital with the baby still attached by its umbilical cord. “I was just a little nervous” when the labor began, Xochitl Parra said Friday from St. Mary Medical Center as she cradled her 8-pound, 3-ounce son, Alejandro. “

Weird. Apparently the mother of this teen didn’t know. That’s messed up.

Parra, a sophomore at Long Beach Poly High, said she kept her pregnancy a secret because she was afraid her mother would “kick me out of the house.” Her mother has now accepted the situation and is going to help the teen care for the baby so she can continue attending school, Parra said. “

I don’t understand the logic here. The teen was keeping the baby, but didn’t want to tell her mom–because she was going to put it up for adoption? Even if this is the case, did she think that the delivery would occur at a conveniently secret time? (It seems that it did, but that doesn’t mean that she was rational….)

Anyway, I’m glad these people are alive. But man, that’s kinda goofy.

-MC Spanky McGee

Soupy Trumpet Blasts from the Web 5-4-2008


Republicans use Obama as the bad guy in negative ads

Beijing’s Gigantic LED Wall Is Fully Solar Powered

48% see themselves running Windows XP in 2014

XP ain’t goin’ away….

Papa John’s clowns Bron Bron?

A funny picture and caption of a hobby gone too far.

Obama gets the clean break from Wright.

Sen. Barack Obama said he is “outraged” by comments his former minister, the Rev. Jeremiah Wright, made Monday at the National Press Club and “saddened by the spectacle.” “

In Die Hard, Hans Gruber is trying to chill out his crew as they’re trying to get to the $$$ in the vault. He says:

You asked for a miracle, I give you the FBI… “

He ain’t worried about the power systems because the FBI is going to bumble in and take care of their problems for them. Heist accomplished. (Or so Gruber thinks.)

Well, it’s about time that Wright has opened his big mouth again, because it gives Obama exactly what he needed: a chance to kick Wright to the curb fully. Obama can now claim that he did not understand earlier how far gone Wright was, how radical he was–and now Obama can distance himself fully.

I don’t know how much political posturing this amounts to. But Obama has to say it. And he’s said it quickly and forcefully. At any rate, there’s no way that Hillary is really going to be able to use it anymore….

-MC Spanky McGee

I hate to say it, but I agree with Karl Rove.

Rove offers advice to Barack Obama

See also:

Rove offers Obama six suggestions on how to win the nomination. While I can’t stand Karl Rove, I am rational just enough to see that he is offering solid advice here.

Here’s a good example in no. 1:

Your stump speech is sounding old and out of touch. You made a mistake by not giving the bored press (and voters) something new last Tuesday when you lost Pennsylvania. Come up with something fresh that’s focused on the general election. Recapture the optimistic tone of your start and discard the weary, prickly and distracted tone you’ve taken on. “

That is certainly true. Obama is tired of this campaign. You can tell. He seems lost. While I didn’t spend a lot of time trying to hunt down what he said about Pennsylvania, I have noticed that there have not been good fireworks from the Obama campaign lately. He needs the energy more than ever now, and Karl muthafuckin’ Rove is certainly correct about this. (God, writing that surely creeps me out. It’s like some little conservative alien is going to burst through my chest as I write this. “EEEEEEARRRRGGGHHHEEEEEROWWWWRRRRRR!” *Splat* *splat* *thump*. Yuck.)

You have talent, intelligence and tapped into something powerful early in your campaign. But running for president is unlike anything you’ve ever done. You’re making mistakes and making people worry that you’re an elitist. So while you’ll almost certainly win the nomination, Democrats are nervous about the fall. You’ve given them reasons to be. “

You get the sense that Rove respects his enemy here–deeply. And I can respect Rove for that. It’s very hard for someone to say that this political strategist is offering bad advice here.

-MC Spanky McGee

Soupy Trumpet Blasts from the Web 4-25-2008


Student ‘Twitters’ out of jail

Next time Spanky gets arrested, he’s going to Twitter it and hope that Grown Pumpkin shows up in a Warthog.

RegToy Tweaks Your PC Every Which Way

Obama’s Half-Eaten Sausage, Waffle, Put on ebay


Wow. A glowing review from Erich Schulte, an old pal of yours truly.

-MC Spanky McGee

Campaign debt = no confidence in Hillary.

Clinton’s primary campaign begins April in debt

According to campaign reports filed with the Federal Election Commission over the weekend, the New York senator began the month of April with close to $32 million cash-on hand. But, according to the Associated Press, only $9 million of that total are funds that are able to be spent in the primary races. The report also showed Clinton owes more than $10 million, meaning the Democratic presidential candidate was in the red even before she heavily stepped up television advertising in Pennsylvania. “

Look, ordinarily I’d call Hillary a good American because of such a debt load, but clearly something has gone wrong.

We are big fans of the idea that you measure how awesome someone is by their cash on hand. And Hillary is just not getting it done.

Well, after the sniper fire LIE, I think a lot of people have had enough.

Why is she still going? I don’t get it.

I think she’s gonna need a few more shots after she comes to her senses and realizes what a shitty campaign she has run.

-MC Spanky McGee