New York Yankee Jason Giambi Shares Lucky Thong

Jason Giambi lucky thong

New York Yankee Jason Giambi has a lucky thong.  That thong is gold.  He wears the man thong for luck when he is down.  He has shared the thong with Derek Jeter and Johnny Damon among other professional baseball players.  Everyone has taken notice.  Mike Mussina put a sign on his locker that says “pitchers need thongs too”.  Sadly the thong may have lost its magic touch as Jason Giambi is hitting below the Mendoza Line.  That does not keep Jason from bringing that thong along just like he did when doing poorly for the Oakland A’s and presumably when he was in front of the grand jury for the Balco steroid case a few years ago.

That is the baseball / man thong  equivalent of See Spot Run.

Photoshopped Man Babies, I love It

I found the site ManBabies.com the other day.  The sole purpose of that site is to photoshop a baby’s head on a grown up body and a grown up head on a baby body – also known as a Man Baby.  We will likely be playing along here as well.  Here is our first go at it.  ManBabies.com holla at us!

Photoshopped Man Baby 01

White Sox Pink Beards for Breast Cancer

Ozzie Guillen Pink

Four Chicago White Sox players, including closer Bobby Jenks, dyed their facial hair pink in honor of the upcoming Mother’s Day holiday and to help raise awareness for breast cancer.  Major League Baseball (MLB) has helped raise money for the Susan G. Komen for the Cure Foundation in their “Going To Bat Against Breast Cancer” program by placing pink ribbons on player and personnel uniforms, on the bases, special home plates, pink lineup cards, and various other promotional items.  Most notably, players will be seen swinging pink bats on Mother’s Day.  Much of the promotional items will be sold and auctioned with proceeds going to the Komen Foundation.

Having the players in Chicago do such a pleasant gesture will likely help get their completely awesome and underrated loud mouthed manager’s antics on the back page.  In recent days, manager Ozzie Guillen has popped off with an obscenity laced tirade that centered around the White Sox being “Chicago’s bitch” when compared to the lovable loser Cubs,  as well as bringing in sex blowup dolls to the clubhouse (with bats jammed in the back door and a sign that said “You gotta push” – at least nobody got caught banging it like the guy in this video).  Guillen was once ordered to sensitivity training classes after he called reporter Jay Mariotti (most notably on ESPN’s Around the Horn) a “fag”.  Apparently many people don’t agree with Mariotti, as evidenced by there being a site called www.jaythejoke.com and it is also worth mentioning that Ozzie Guillen has not let up on him either.

Hey at least the Sox are getting a head start on helping the Mother’s Day cause, even if their season may be heading in the wrong direction.  And enjoy our photoshop of Ozzie helping the cause too.  Any other pink Mother’s Day photoshops out there?

Soupy Trumpet Blasts from the Web 4-25-08 part 2

Spanky beat me to the punch, so here is a second edition… oops

Here’s another Soupy Trumpet daily-dose of internet finds to enjoy:

Spanky would like to add this video on DoubleViking:
“Something is goin’ on, can I smell yo’ dick?”

Goldschlager Worth Gold Digging?

Photoshop of a gold digger with Goldschlager

Have you ever wondered how much real gold is in a bottle of Goldschlager? Pumpkin doesn’t drink and isn’t a Kanye West’esque Gold Digger, so I never have pondered on that or any gold. However some people took it upon themselves to answer that question and I stumbled across their findings at cockeyed.com’s “How Much Is Inside”.

The results are not that surprising as there is very little gold in a bottle… $1.38 worth in the test bottle. The link above is worth a short read. It’s pretty funny and they offer alternative “schlagers” like “coinschlager”, “cornschlager”, and “googlie-eyeschalger”. I would love to see some other ideas… possibly some photoshops??? hmmm stay tuned.

Dear Atlanta Falcons, Please Don’t Draft Matt Ryan 3rd

Photoshop of Matt Ryan holding a Falcons jersey at the draft

The Atlanta Falcons have the third pick in the 2008 NFL Draft that is being held in New York this weekend. Matt Ryan, the quarterback from Boston College has been tabbed as the most likely candidate to be drafted first among the quarterbacks eligible. Being that the Falcons have Chris “I was selling insurance a couple of years ago” Redman, Joey Harrington (cut then inexplicably re-signed cheaper), and local hero DJ Shockley, it would seem that the Falcons need to address the quarterback position. In fact it is apparent they will draft one, it is just uncertain when that will be.

I am not 100% sold on the fact that Michael Vick is not coming back to the Falcons to play football. I cannot treat the situation like the Cub fans did Kerry Wood and Mark Prior for years – expecting them to come back and be lights out. I did like how Redman played last year and was fond of Shockley before his injury. Harrington is nice enough but tried to give the job away to Byron Leftwich and ultimately Redman on numerous occasions. Him being back on the team is more surprising than Alge Crumpler, Warrick Dunn, DeAngelo Hall, Rod Coleman, and the others not being back on the team. It appears that Shockley will likely be the odd man out when the new QB is picked.

The Falcons need many things and are loaded with picks to get them in this draft. My hope is that they pass on the uncertain Ryan in favor of a defensive player like Glenn Dorsey and grab a quarterback later. There is a chance that Ryan could do a Brady Quinn fall and the Falcons could trade back up to get him then. Any of the second tier QB’s in the draft paired with Dorsey net a bigger gain then Ryan and anyone else in my opinion.

Also quarterback drafting is far from a science. This study (aimed at jabbing at Brett Favre’s replacement Aaron Rodgers) shows the high risks involved with drafting a quarterback in the first round (not to mention the ridiculous costs for players that have yet to touch the field).

Hillary Clinton is Rocky Balboa?

Hillary Clinton as Rocky Balboa

Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton says she is like Sylvester Stallone’s HGH enhanced geriatric famous movie boxer, Rocky Balboa. She means she never quits… even when maybe she should. Her opponent in this fight, Barack Obama is far more like Ivan Drago or Mason “The Line” Dixon (aka Antonio “Magic Man” Tarver) than he is Tommy Gunn.

We get it, Senator Hillary Clinton embodies the American “never say die” spirit. We appreciate it. I think most of us even like her for it, and like her in general (even like the idea of Hillary basing her entire future on some bowling). That being said, that Rocky quip is certainly worth a photoshop.

Kwame Kilpatrick faces felony charges.

Detroit mayor to face felony charges

A Wayne County prosecutor said Monday she will seek felony charges against Detroit’s embattled Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick.

Kilpatrick, who is married, has been snarled in a well-publicized sex scandal since January after The Detroit Free Press reported he exchanged romantic text messages with his then-chief of staff, Christine Beatty.

The Detroit Free Press reported in January that in an analysis of nearly 14,000 text messages on Beatty’s city-issued pager, it found some from 2002 and 2003 that indicated the two were having a romantic affair.

Come on, Kwame. Don’t you know how the E-world works? You can’t leave any trail behind–at all. You know what that means? Don’t make a fucking trail in the first place! You might as well have broadcast the entire affair to the whole world!

(click on thumbnail below)

k

Damn, man.

-MC Spanky McGee