Oh, I figured she was a redhead…

Yesterday I commented on how the media is taking the opportunity to use the Eliot Spitzer scandal to plaster the airwaves with “news” about prostitution…because it sells. Today they took it to a whole new level.

CNN.com has placed a photo of Ashley Alexandra Dupre aka “Kristen,” Spitzer’s mistress, on the front page. MSN.com has also run the story ID-ing the call girl. Other responsible news sources have fallen in line: FOXNEWS.com (front page photo), MSNBC.com and all the rest, basically. Bravo, you’ve proven that you’re all much bigger whores than Kristen…or perhaps we the public are the whores…or better yet, maybe this whole thing is a giant whore-gy.

One day they’ve got a photo of his crestfallen wife at the presser, and the next day they’ve run with the photo of this sexy vixen. “Oh, his poor family…somebody write a story on that angle. GET ME A PIC OF THE HOOKER, NOW!” Apparently, Kristen is now the story.

Again, I defer to the legendary Bill Hicks:

I’m tired of this back-slapping ‘Isn’t humanity neat?’ bullshit. We’re a virus with shoes, okay? That’s all we are.

The media outlets have plenty of time to detail Kristen + Eliot sitting in a tree, and I’ve got volumes of Bill Hicks quotes. Watch the virus grow…this should be fun.

Spitzer resigns as Governor of New York

Eliot Spitzer Noose
‘Deeply sorry’ Spitzer resigns

“I am deeply sorry that I did not live up to what was expected of me,” he said in a brief news conference announcing his intention to resign, effective Monday. “I will try once again outside of politics to serve the common good.”

He added, “Our greatest glory consists not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.”

Eliot, ya messed up. But you’ve done some top-notch work. Hang on to that.

Now, stop being a douchebag, and get your life back on track.

I’ll try to do that, too.

-MC Spanky McGee

Attention Little Girls: DON’T BE A PROSTITUTE!

It took about two seconds for the Today Show to pounce on the Spitzer story. How? This morning they interviewed 2 former prostitutes (there’s also a story on the web). One was the madam at a Hollywood brothel and the other apparently billed her time at $2,000 per hour…now that’s high society.

This fine example of hard-hitting TV journalism shed no light whatsoever on the Spitzer story, but it was a good chance for Meredith Vieira to play the role of brow-beater with these two women. Of course, it was a tap-in birdie for Vieira when one of the ladies indicated that Spitzer should resign because of the duty he owes to his family and to the State of New York. Meredith pounced with, “were you thinking about the families of your clients while you were sleeping with them?” To that, the (former) hooker really had no response. She said her conscience was more at ease when she was servicing unmarried clients. Really? I smell an Emmy.

The critical fact that I left out of the preceding description?…Meredith asked for her opinion as to whether Spitzer should resign. Thanks, Meredith. Gee, f*$#in thanks.

News flash: When you interview a (former) whore for her opinion on a social issue merely because that social issue involves whoring…THEN YOU ARE A WHORE TOO! HELL-O-OOOOO! I’ll defer to our deceased friend Bill Hicks:

Here’s the deal, folks…you do a commercial, you’re off the artistic roll-call forever. End of story. You’re another corporate shill, you’re another whore at the capitalist gang-bang. And if you do a commercial, there’s a price on your head, everything you say is suspect and every word that comes out of your mouth is like a turd falling into my drink.

Well, maybe I just wanted to add some Bill Hicks to my rant, but the point is exactly the same. NBC…you are in the business of prostitution. Stimulus…response. Spitzer ball of fire…hookers are suddenly newsworthy on your network. Would this story have run without the Spitzer story? Of course not. But I am certain that the “news piece” was a boon to NBC’s AM ratings.

It’s as if this prostitution story has been written and kept in the vault for months and NBC was just waiting for the right time to pull it out of the can and paint our TVs with it. Worst part?…NBC didn’t drop in one single nugget about the dangers of selling your yoo-hoo for cash. As an abstract concept, I don’t give a damn about prostitution. If people want to get it that way, so be it. But the facts are undeniably troublesome. Prostitutes are more likely to:

These numbers don’t even touch on the fact that most female prostitutes were subjected to abuse (of a variety of varieties) as children. It’s simply a diseased world, that prostitution stuff. The dangers are self-evident.

I can’t believe that this shit is illegal. Should we outlaw running with scissors…playing with fire…beer before liquor…spreading ashes upwind? OK…I can see why it’s outlawed, but would the game be different if it were legal? The argument has been madeover and over again.


The victims are the prostitutes. The clients OBVIOUSLY don’t care about the consequences. Simple solution…don’t do it. Don’t go anywhere near it. The money isn’t worth it. You hear me children…STAY AWAY!

That’s the best I can do.

Eliot Spitzer announced his resignation today.

Update II: Spitzer penned an editorial criticizing the Bush administration for being soft on predatory lenders a day after Client 9 got some nookie. I hope he still gives ‘em hell…I’ll listen.


Eliot Spitzer Emperor Club VIP Details Emerge

Emperor Club VIP Photoshop

News that New York Governor Eliot Spitzer has been involved in a sex scandal broke yesterday. The Emperor Club VIP prostitution ring has been busted and Spitzer was forced into a public apology. Very few details were available then. So in the mean time we took it upon ourselves here at Soupy Trumpet to photoshop images and discuss the story in different ways. From the philosophical perspective in “why do smart people do dumb things” to the primal view in “failing the sex test“, The Trumpet Crew has piled on the former Time Life Magazine Crusader of the Year as we waited for the juicy details.

CNN has found out more about “Client 9″ and the wiretaps that have tied him to a prostitute named “Kristen” on Valentine’s Day in February at the Washington Hotel (Room 871) for two and a half hours. $2,712.41 is what he was billed to pay which included travel, the fee, hotel incidentals, and her time. Spitzer ended up spending $4,300 that day as he wanted to have a credit with the hooker.

Even after pouring through the official pages at The Smoking Gun, there are still plenty of sketchy parts of this story like “Kristen” being warned that Spitzer”might ask you to do things that, like, you might not think are safe”. I cannot even imagine what that might mean. There also is no mention of how often Spitzer met with the girls of the Emperor Club VIP operation or how much he had accumulated in expenses. More will likely come out from the sting that started back in October of 2007 and since had accumulated 6,000 emails, 5,000 phone and text messages, and numerous documents like bank transfers and travel records.

There has also been no official update on the status of Spitzer’s job which clearly has to be in jeopardy. All of his friends are shocked by this and some politicians have called for his resignation “to allow the people of New York to pursue honest leadership”.

We will keep you updated as the story unfolds. We may also update the Emperor Club photoshop above if we missed anybody or more public figures emerge in this international case.