A brief comment on GTA IV.

I’m not going to tell you what’s involved in this game. There are a million sites out there that already describe it.

My message to you is: I am NOT buying Grand Theft Auto IV.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/TECH/ptech/04/10/grand.theft.auto/index.html

“If players want they can jump online and never even play the single-player again,” Jeronimo Barrera, vice president of game development, told GameTap. “Online is a serious time sucker. You’re going to have to be really careful if you’re married,” he added with a smile.

No shit, Jeronimo. I know this game is going to kick a ton of ass, but keep that shit away from me. I will end up like this:

I totally lost control with Halo 3, although I’m doing better with COD 4.

But I am not going anywhere near GTA IV. Fuck that. I’ll end up like one of those Chinese dudes in the internet cafes. D E A D.

Or pretty close to it.

-MC Spanky McGee

Videogames and Competitive Eating Together At Last

Major League Eating the Game Fake Box

Two of our favorite things at Soupy Trumpet are finally coming together like butt cheeks – Professional Competitive Eating and Video Games. On Thursday video game publishing company Mastiff Games released a press release for an upcoming game called “Major League Eating: The Game”. Mastiff acquired the gaming rights for Major League Eating (MLE) and the International Federation of Competitive Eating (I.F.O.C.E.) but divulged very few details at the time of the release. It is described as being played similar to a fighting game with twelve different foods to compete in.

Here at the Trumpet we certainly expect hope that our very favorite presidential candidate professional eater, Takeru Kobayashi , is not only in the game but the inaugural cover athlete. I have taken the liberty of firing up photoshop and offering a rough demo of said cover. Additionally we expect to be able to play as all of the best eaters in the world including Grown Pumpkin, rookie of the year Joey Chestnut, Patrick Bertoletti, Timothy “Eater X” Janus, Sonya Thomas, Chip “Burger” Simpson, Hall Hunt, and all the rest.

We also really hope that the game is available on XBox 360 since that is the only system Spanky has, the Sony Playstation 3 (PS3) so far has been really only a Blu-Ray player, and the Nintendo wii is far to much work… however it may be a blast on the wii to digitally eat chicken wings. If they somehow figure out an apparatus that can attach to the wiimote that allows us to get husky while schooling fools as Kobayashi, then I will fully support the wii version and invite Big Headed Bro Taguchi over for some doubles when he is near the Pumpkin Patch.

There really is no reason for Soupy Trumpet NOT to be hired as a collective advisory board for this game as it is essentially being made for us. We need to get our agent on this stat.