Pope passes the buck: “It’s not our fault…”

http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/04/16/pope.wed/index.html#cnnSTCText

He spoke at a prayer service with U.S. bishops at Washington’s Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception, the largest Roman Catholic church in North America.

Benedict said the sexual abuse of children by priests has caused a “deep shame” and called it “gravely immoral behavior.” “

“What does it mean to speak of child protection when pornography and violence can be viewed in so many homes through media widely available today?” he asked.

Benedict urged the media and entertainment industry to take part in a “moral renewal.” “

Ok, Benny, I see the strategy.

Maybe the video game industry should stop making your priests and bishops play Grand Theft Auto. That’s surely corrupting them. I bet Law and Order has some adult themes. The makers of that show should stop targeting these helpless souls.

BAH!

The Pope is passing the buck. We’re talking about clergy, people. Tell them to turn off the TV and the XBOX (which, I assure you, they’re NOT playing).

Is the Pope serious? How is he going to blame the media? Don’t the priests and bishops have the self-discipline (1) to recognize these bad influences and (2) to get away from them? The Pope is full of shit here.

I suspect the problem is deeper. What do you think happens when you tell a man not to have an orgasm? Where does that pent-up sexual energy go? When a priest tries to deny his impulses, the result is simple repression. In all seriousness, a priest needs to masturbate. That will give him a way to channel his “energy.”

-MC Spanky McGee

Oh, I figured she was a redhead…

Yesterday I commented on how the media is taking the opportunity to use the Eliot Spitzer scandal to plaster the airwaves with “news” about prostitution…because it sells. Today they took it to a whole new level.

CNN.com has placed a photo of Ashley Alexandra Dupre aka “Kristen,” Spitzer’s mistress, on the front page. MSN.com has also run the story ID-ing the call girl. Other responsible news sources have fallen in line: FOXNEWS.com (front page photo), MSNBC.com and all the rest, basically. Bravo, you’ve proven that you’re all much bigger whores than Kristen…or perhaps we the public are the whores…or better yet, maybe this whole thing is a giant whore-gy.

One day they’ve got a photo of his crestfallen wife at the presser, and the next day they’ve run with the photo of this sexy vixen. “Oh, his poor family…somebody write a story on that angle. GET ME A PIC OF THE HOOKER, NOW!” Apparently, Kristen is now the story.

Again, I defer to the legendary Bill Hicks:

I’m tired of this back-slapping ‘Isn’t humanity neat?’ bullshit. We’re a virus with shoes, okay? That’s all we are.

The media outlets have plenty of time to detail Kristen + Eliot sitting in a tree, and I’ve got volumes of Bill Hicks quotes. Watch the virus grow…this should be fun.

New York Governor Eliot Spitzer fails the sex test. Who’s next?

It’s plainly evident that a person can no longer do the work of a politician unless he or she has the right kind of private sex with the right kind of person.

Proper sex is a rigorous test here in the U.S. Yep, you can tell bald-faced lies that drag a nation into a needless war that kills thousands of soldiers and kills hundreds of thousands of civilians. You can torture and you can spy and you can hang out with all kinds of corrupt assholes. If you do these things, a minor-distribution newspaper might raise a question or two several years down the road. No biggie.

But God help a politician who has an orgasm in private with a person to whom the citizens of New York haven’t given their stamp of approval.

Elliot Spitzer had sex, in private, with a woman who wasn’t his wife? “Gad, how could he possibly be qualified to be governor?” chant all of the holy and moral politicians on the sidelines. Those protesting “holy” politicians are the ones who feign lots of anger in public while, in the privacy of their homes they lap up the salacious accounts of Elliot’s young and beautiful consensual sex partner; they virtually lick the words off their newspapers as part of the process of working up more faux rage for tomorrow’s press conference. They practice their horrified expressions in their mirrors, so that they can make it clear to the People how awful it is for two adults to have consensual sex where money is exchanged instead of a diamond ring.

Let’s write it into the federal and state constitutions that the People need to be well-informed about the sex practices of all politicians and that these politicians should only engage in “proper” sex. If not, we’ll destroy their careers so that some morally superior political hack, the kind that practices only missionary-position-half-dressed-in-the-dark-with-his-spouse sex, can take over and enact the superior kind of government policy that is only understood by those who politicians who practice “proper sex.” Continue reading