Church of Jedi in Britain attacked by Vader. Kinda.

Here’s the video. Much lamer than imagined:

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A man who dressed up as Darth Vader, wearing a garbage bag for a cape, and assaulted the founders of a group calling itself the Jedi church was given a suspended sentence Tuesday.

Arwel Wynne Hughes, 27, attacked Jedi church founder Barney Jones — aka Master Jonba Hehol — with a metal crutch, hitting him on the head, prosecutors told Holyhead Magistrates’ Court. “

“Darth Vader! Jedis!” Hughes shouted as he approached.

Hughes claimed he couldn’t remember the incident, having drunk the better part of a 2 1/2-gallon box of wine beforehand. “

I am simply flabbergasted.

Man, I used to love Star Wars, but, as usual, the goddamned lunatics have taken a thing too far and have turned a good thing into a nightmare.

One more thing: fuck reality TV. The best shit in the world is in the news. Dildonics galore.

-MC Spanky McGee

Spanky is sick of Lucas’s bullshit.

cash cow star wars george lucas

Goddamnit. I grew up on Star Wars, and yes, I can still drop some quotes. But I don’t totally dork it out. I have my XBOX 360 and my computer for dorkin’ it. I hate Star Wars now. I’m soooooooo fucking sick of Lucas just driving it into the ground. Sometimes we’re just so much better off without a sequel: The Matrix, Clerks, etc. and so on. We coulda used our imaginations–if we have any left in our collective consciousness–to figure out what could/should happen next. But noooooooooooo. We get stuck with your shitty dialogue–which I won’t rehash here. (We’ve all been over that.)….

“Star Wars: The Clone Wars,” a new stylized, computer-animated feature film, will open Aug. 15 in theaters and set the stage for a tie-in television series with the same name and mode of artwork that will begin airing as a 30-minute weekly series in the fall on the Cartoon Network and TNT.

I think I’ve said this before, but I’ll say it again. Goddamnit, George. Milk that cow, you ass. But I, for one, am not buying your skim. I’ve got whole milk with Call of Duty 4, and I’m feeling like a strapping young lad.

It’s called quality, not quantity, and you gave up on quality “a long time ago.” Shoulda called it quits with the Ewoks playing paradiddles on the storm trooper helmets.

-MC Spanky McGee

Spanky is gettin’ too old for this shit. He rocked out to “Songs for the Deaf” while cranking out this bitch-fest, and it was awesome.

New Kids On the Block Back On the Block

New Kids On the Block

Just like Star Wars, Spice Girls, Coca-Cola Classic, Pumpkin owning a dog, the Oakland Raiders, and all things ONCE arguably good; reportedly the New Kids On the Block (NKOTB) are coming back again.  This is a HOT MESS.  I didn’t make it up, and only part of that picture is photoshopped.  I am not hoping for them to fail…just NOT to catch back on.  Please no more Joey McIntyre or Jordan Knight solo albums…Marky Mark Wahlberg’s brother Donnie Wahlberg is a decent actor – this may hurt that credibility, and also who is Danny Wood anyway?