New York Yankee Jason Giambi Shares Lucky Thong

Jason Giambi lucky thong

New York Yankee Jason Giambi has a lucky thong.  That thong is gold.  He wears the man thong for luck when he is down.  He has shared the thong with Derek Jeter and Johnny Damon among other professional baseball players.  Everyone has taken notice.  Mike Mussina put a sign on his locker that says “pitchers need thongs too”.  Sadly the thong may have lost its magic touch as Jason Giambi is hitting below the Mendoza Line.  That does not keep Jason from bringing that thong along just like he did when doing poorly for the Oakland A’s and presumably when he was in front of the grand jury for the Balco steroid case a few years ago.

That is the baseball / man thong  equivalent of See Spot Run.

Homerun King Barry Bonds Unemployed – Possibly Blackballed by MLB?

Barry Bonds Homerun King Blackballed

It is two weeks until the 2008 MLB baseball season begins and arguably the best baseball player ever, Barry Bonds, still does not have a job.  The MLBPA (Major League Baseball Players Association) will be looking into this peculiar situation as a part of its annual free agency review according to Donald Fehr the head of the union.  Is there really any chance that the Home Run King has been blackballed by commissioner Bud Selig and the MLB owners?

Of course Barry Bonds has had his name thrown about for his alleged grand jury perjury and alleged use of steroids (“the clear” and “the cream” possibly given to him by his trainer and friend Greg Anderson) in the Balco and MLB investigations.  He is also considered a jerk to the media at times (maybe that is why they make things up about him) and a prima donna.  Barry broke Hank Aaron’s all time home run record last year too, so the chase is over for that one as well.  He is 43 years old and carries a high price tag too.  All of these factors should discourage some teams, but not all.

Are those factors really enough to warrant very little public interest in him from the 32 MLB baseball franchises?  We have heard about Tony La Russa and the Cardinals and then the Tampa Bay Rays discussing adding Bonds internally, but not much else from the other franchises.

Barry Bonds has done more than enough to deserve a roster spot in big leagues.  His career numbers are superior to almost all players ever to play the game.  He played with speed, had amazing defense, became the greatest power hitter ever, and had the most patience at the plate of anyone before him as he has drawn record numbers of walks, intentional or otherwise.  Just last year he lead the entire league in walks and had 28 home runs in 132 games while hitting .276.  He had a better season than many outfielders gainfully employed.

He could fit a team like the St. Louis Cardinals that need a big bat to protect their slugger Albert Pujols and can platoon with the young outfielders asked to play everyday.  He could fit a team like the Tampa Bay Rays that need to sell tickets and improve as a franchise.  Barry will pass 3,000 hits and 2,000 RBI milestones this season.  He could fit a team like the Oakland Athletics that are already familiar with him from his days across the bay in San Francisco and could use a designated hitter.  Another fit would be the powerhouse teams like the Boston Red Sox and New York Yankees that could bolster the middle of their lineups with a deadly left-handed bat.

I would love to wake up tomorrow and hear that Barry Bonds has signed with the Atlanta Braves, but I am not counting on it (and praying he does not land on the Mets or Phillies rosters).  In the next two weeks though, if we do not hear that he has been signed, you better believe this “blackball” story will escalate.

Stallone’s Rambo Kill Count Biggest Yet – Thanks HGH

Rambo

On Friday I saw the new Rambo movie starring and directed by Sylvester Stallone. I bought the Ultimate Rambo DVD Collection at Best Buy and it came with a free ticket to the new theatrical release…so really it cost me about $10-$12 for three DVD’s and a ticket to the new movie… as good as that sounds, I may have been jobbed by still paying that much. Anyway, the movie is super short and Sly looks like a douche his brother Frank at the beginning of the movie with his highwater pants and loose fitting clothing. The plot is extremely blah and unbelievable and the acting is dreadful and cliché. That being said…when I woke up about midway in, Sly was buff and muddy, and killing people like crazy and *poof* I am now transported back to the old-school and am eating Rambo up.

His kills are extremely over the top including blown off limbs, chopped off heads, and torn out throats. I lost track of how many people were killed in the movie after about 3 so I looked it up. Little did I know that Rambo death stats are readily available across the net and I gathered ours from DarkHorizons.com who gathered theirs from other sources (on their page).

236 is the total kill count number of this film… the good guys only had a +10 k/d ratio (Halo Reference) and Rambo accounted for just at 35% of the total kills in the film. There are over 2.5 kills per minute in this film. Ironically Rambo never parlayed any of this straight manliness into any tail in any of the movies. In fact the main woman in the film is married and he appears to not be interested in a the only hot woman in the jungle.

Is the kill count a product of Sly being all ‘jacked up’ on HGH? I don’t know anything about human growth hormone except what Roger Clemens and friends have lied said about it. Chances are you just get huge Rambo man-titty-balls and no real side-effects. Regardless it is notable that athletes are in front of congress, getting in trouble, losing work and such for using H.G.H. but actors can get swoll for movies with no consequence… even endorsing it’s use. Either way I don’t care, I’ll stick with the seasonal McRibs to get big.