The Dogs of Yesteryear

So yesterday Fessy and I hooked up some awesome hot dogs from Yesterdog, a local joint in Griff’s hometown of Grand Rapids, Michigan. Now, normally Grand Rapids is known for old Dutch people, Republicans (e.g., Gerald R. Ford), Amway, Calvin College, and other such conservative delights. However, Yesterdog transports one back to the good ol’ days, where you paid 10-cents for a dog and a pop. (Here you pay between $1.60-$2.10 for a dog, which still isn’t bad.) Hanging on the walls are old advertisements and posters, antiques of various sorts, and pictures of people wearing Yesterdog pareph with famous people or in famous places.

Yesterdog Michael Moore

Yesterdog offers six kinds of dogs, with varying combinations of toppings. I devoured two yesterdogs (chili, pickle, onion, ketchup, mustard), while Fessy hooked up a couple of ultradogs (ketchup, mustard, onion, pickle, cheese, chili, and kraut).

Yesterdog1          Yesterdog2 

Combine those with some Pepsi, a cup of tasty chicken noodle soup, and some cheese curls, and you got yourself a damn nice meal for about $6.

Yesterdog3

There’s only a couple of drawbacks. One is that going through the line to order your dogs is like a visit to the Soup Nazi: You damn well better know what you want when you step up, or you’re going to hear, “NEXT!” These dudes have no patience for slow deliberation (which proved difficult for Fessy). They even have rules posted on their website. On the other hand, these guys are incredibly efficient, and crank artisan dogs out like none other. Plus they still use the old-school cash register from the 20s. They also stay open past bar-close for the drunk crowd – so I give these dudes some credit.

Second, the dogs themselves are not big. They’re buried under a ton of toppings, but once you get to the dog itself, it’s pretty minimal. Now I like this school of thought, but others seem to dig the gignormous (the second “g” is silent) Chicago beef franks. Honestly, the less ground-up leftover animal parts I’m digesting, the better. (Though I know several of you Soupy Trumpeters will disagree – that’s why your trumpets are so soupy.)

All in all, the trip was successful, and I would recommend anyone traveling to this conservative bastion take a break in East Town and check out the dogs of yesteryear. Or just check out the documentary: [youtube width="425" height="355"]http://youtube.com/watch?v=cPQx_IEt9hs&feature=related[/youtube]

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About Pastafari Griff

Pastafari Griff, Queen of Truthiness, is a member of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and is also a theist of a..."different" sort. Her version of ID theory concludes that it is possible that the FSM created the world (which at that time consisted of trees, mountains, and a midget) with his noodly appendage. While definitely NOT a burrito connoisseur, she does enjoy rocking out fried chicken and swine (not necessarily at the same time) on a regular basis. She IS, however, a PBR connoisseur, and for some reason claims that 'PBR' can be used as a verb, which should be performed "ASAP". She, too, is a fan of the Wendy's #6, though she opposes the addition of pepperjack to it (pace Spanky). P-Griff (as she is also known) strongly dislikes many Republican politicians, especially those who use Xianity as a justification for foreign and domestic policy. Of course, she knows for a fact that God is, indeed, on HER side, so it must be the case that everything she says is right. Her mood hinges upon the combined performance of the Iowa Hawkeyes, the Green Bay Packers, and the Milwaukee Brewers. Needless to say, she's a surly bastard much of the time. She legitimately hates the Yankees, but supports the Germans in national soccer. (No, there really isn't any logical connection between those two clauses.) She also still loves Brett Favre, and she hopes the "nice farm" the Packers sent him to is taking good care of him. P-Griff is obsessed with LOST, 24, The Daily Show, and the Colbert Report...in no particular order. She wants to do it with Sawyer, be rescued by and then do it with Jack Bauer, and have babies with both Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert...in no particular order. Of course, since the latter two fantasies are highly unlikely - and impossible to perform at the same time - she'd be happy just to hang with the dudes. P-Griff also enjoys her vices, which are too many to list here. Despite all that, she is a born-again virgin who enjoys listening to Sandi Patti, Nine Inch Nails, and Europop. _ "[She's] a walking contradiction, partly truth and partly fiction, taking every wrong direction on [her] lonely way back home." Additionally, P-Griff is of the opinion that "there's still a lot of wine and lonely girls in this best of all possible worlds." (Thanks Kris and Gottfried!) _ Let us all raise up our hands skyward (in the direction of the immaterial Flying Spaghetti Monster in all his noodly glory) and say boldly... "RA-MEN!!!"

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