Finger Eleven’s Bad Lyrics: Paralyzer

This Finger Eleven song Paralyzer has been out for almost a year (March 6 will officially mark a full year of sucktitude). I wouldn’t care so much, but they are STILL PLAYING THIS THING ON THE RADIO. Actually, the tune is a decent hook (decent, I say) and I remember thinking the song was OK when I first heard it. Then they played it so many times I actually listened to the lyrics. GOOD F&#ING GOD. Perhaps if I clown those lyrics a bit on the Trump I’ll feel better…so here goes my cathartic attempt at satiation:

I hold on so nervously
To me and my drink holdin on to what…your junk, bro?
I wish it was cooling me we get it…you’re hot
But so far has not been good “not good” = “shitty”
It’s been shitty (yes, yes…you told Brandt. Brandt told me)
And I feel awkward as I should awkward…how bout nauseous?
This club has got to be Pretentious. adj. claiming or demanding a position
The most pretentious thing of distinction or merit, especially when unjustified
Since I thought you and me (an inanimate object can’t claim/demand anything)
Well I am imagining
A dark lit place well, at least “place” rhymes with “place” and “place”
Or your place or my place

Well I’m not paralyzed Translation: I’ve seen better but I’d still do ya
But I seem to be struck by you
I wanna make you move
Because you’re standing still
If your body matches OK–if that’s the case then her body can undress
What your eyes can do you with her eyes (i.e.–not undress you)
You’ll probably move right through
Me on my way to you ???????????????????????????

I hold out for one more drink
Before I think
I’m looking too desperately adjective/adverb
But so far has not been fun
I should just stay home
If one thing really means one ?????????????????????
This club will hopefully Active wish
Be closed in three weeks (WHICH ONE IS IT BRO?)
That would be cool with me Passive approval
Well I’m still imagining
A dark lit place second verse…same as the 1st
Or your place or my place

Well I’m not paralyzed
But I seem to be struck by you
I wanna make you move
Because you’re standing still THANK YOU FOR NOT WRITING A 3RD VERSE
If your body matches
What your eyes can do
You’ll probably move right through
Me on my way to you
[repeat 3x]

You’ll probably move right through
Me on my way to you
[repeat]

I got the lyrics at:

http://www.onlylyrics.com/hits.php?grid=2&id=1003974

NOPE…I still hate it.

images.jpg Well, at least he’s feelin it…bof hands on the mic

photo link

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